Page 119 of The Design of Goodbye
“I’ll be fine.”
I’ll be. I hated he’d used those words because it meant he currently wasn’t.
My dad walked into the kitchen, carrying a very unhappy Thimble. “He’s done it again.” My dad frowned at his bundle, who was wrapped in a big fluffy pink towel and meowing pitifully. “He jumped on my lap and was soaking wet. I had to dry him, which he’s very upset about.”
“Sorry,” spoke Liam. “I think I forgot to close Madison’s bathroom.”
“It’s no one’s fault but his,” I said, pointing to my cat. “He knows when he’s allowed to play with water.”
My dad leaned against the island, frowning when he noticed the bottle of Ibuprofen and Liam’s pale face. “You okay, kid?” Liam shrugged. “You need anything?” Liam shook his head. “Are you staying for dinner? You can pick. I can make something. We can order in or even go out—”
“I can’t.” said Liam, standing. “Sorry. I actually need to leave.”
“But you don’t have to go to work for hours,” I said.
Liam put on his backpack, and I knew no amount of convincing would get him to stay. “I need to go somewhere,” he said. “But maybe tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow it is!” my dad said, slightly too excited. He squeezed Liam’s shoulder. “Think about what you might want. I did find this amazing calzone recipe onSalt & Pepperthat has—”
“Sounds good, Mr. Winters.”
My dad frowned at the formality but didn’t call Liam out. “It’s a plan.”
Liam mumbled a goodbye and left.
“He’s not okay,” stated my dad.
“No,” I admitted, wanting to cry. So much had happened today, and I was overwhelmed. “He gets panic attacks and had a really bad one earlier.” I felt slightly guilty admitting this, but it felt good to tell him. I took a step forward, pointing in the direction Liam had left. “I better go talk to him before he leaves.”
“Of course,” he said. “Go.”
Thankfully, I caught Liam right as he pedaled away. When I called out to him, he stopped his bike halfway down the driveway and waited for me. “Hey,” I said.
“Hi.”
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“There’s somewhere I need to go.”
“Want me to go with you?”
“I need to go alone,” he replied. “Sorry.”
I wanted to sayI understand, but I’d be lying. Because I didn’t, and that was the problem. I had no idea what he was struggling with because he wouldn’t tell me.
So, all I said was, “It’s okay.” His helmet was crooked, and I adjusted it. “Today scared me.”
“I know,” he replied, not looking at me. “Sorry we didn’t make it to the fabric store.”
“I don’t care about that. I’m worried about you,” I admitted. “I wish you’d let me in more so I can help you.” A car drove by. It had one of those super loud and annoying engines, so I waited for it to disappear before adding softly, “Something bad happened to you at a post office, didn’t it?”
A small nod was all I got.
“Madison?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t ask me what happened.” He lowered his voice. “I can’t talk about it.”
