Page 91 of Last Letters to Ara
He looks at his watch. “I was planning to take the rest of the day off from work anyway. You hungry?”
“I am, actually.” I haven’t eaten all day due to my nerves and the uneasy stomach they left in their wake.
“Well, let’s go. I know a place that has great waffles.”
Present - Ara
OPENING THE DOORto my apartment, the warm May air being the first thing to greet me, I take a deep breath and smell the new life which has sprung into existence, savoring the little time that remains before the heat and humidity take over.
Theo leans against the wall opposite where my front door is nestled, holding purple flowers, petunias by the look of them.
My heart swells, because that’s just the kind of guy he is, showing up on our first real date with flowers thatmeansomething.
I finally found the courage last night to tell him how I feel, leaving my fears in the dust after realizing that the only thing that mattered is us, and not wasting any more time.
Theo is the perfect gentleman, slowly approaching me, as if he time traveled from another age to pick me up. My admission of feelings has set me free.
Theo stalks the remaining distance at a hurried pace, taking my face into his hands, strongly and gently all at the same time, as he brings our mouths together. The feel of his lips on mine turns me into a raging inferno. Our kiss is rushed, hurried, hungry.
My apartment door bangs back open. We are going to miss our reservation, but I’m not thinking about that. Suddenly we are standing in my living room, my hands working on the buttons at the front of Theo’s shirt. My dress is already off.
I can’t remember if we closed the front door, but now we’re in my bed, and I don’t stop to question it. Both of us are too hungry to take this any slower.
Bang, bang, bang.
“Ara!!!!”
That’s not Theo’s voice.
Bang, bang, bang.
Theo suddenly vanishes from where he was on top of me.
What the fuck?
I lurch into an upright position finding myself fully clothed and in my room utterly alone.
Shit.
Another goddamn dream about Theo. Growling in frustration, I slam my head back against my pillow.
“It’s Dave! I have your letter!!” My favorite delivery man calls in his booming voice.
“Coming!!!” I jump out of bed and grab my robe.
Dave is waiting outside, all smiles and cheer.
I let out a woosh of air and pray that whatever is inside this envelope helps me figure out what to do about my life. Well, correction. I just need to figure out what to do about Theo. The rest of my life seems to be going in the right direction for once, but Theo? I haven’t seen him in weeks and we’ve barely texted.
Ever since that day where I turned him away, yet again, he’s been pretty much MIA. He always answers my texts, but his responses are more reserved than usual. I even resorted to asking him to collect his laptop as an excuse to see him, but he’s been too busy, working on his next novel. Apparently, he doesn’t need it in order to keep writing.
Although I’ve been just as busy with my day-to-day work and the workshops, I can’t shake the fear that Theo has really given up on me this time, and it’s no one’s fault but my own. I don’t know what the protocol is here. We’re technically just friends, but I’m an emotional wreck over the thought that he may not want to be in my life anymore. Ironically, it was my fear of losing him which caused me to push him away in the first place, but now it seems that I may have lost him already before ever getting to really have him. And there is still this voice in the back of my head, yelling at me to fight for it, to riskeverything.
“I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got a long list of deliveries ahead of me.” Dave’s voice startles me, pulling me out of my thoughts. “You have a good day now, sweetheart.”
“You have a good one, Dave,” I say with a smile and close my door as he walks away.
Despite my sour mood, I’m more than relieved to have a moment with Dad among all the change that’s been happening in my life. His advice and comforting words are exactly what I need.
