Page 64 of Last Letters to Ara
I open the door and take a seat in the chair across from her, forcing my legs to be still and my hands to remain folded in my lap.
“I took what you said earlier to heart, and I have an idea to run past you.”
She smiles. “I’d love to hear it.”
I’m in the door. Mini victory. “I’m not sure if this is the case for other artists, but in order to learn how to sew, I spent countless hours trying to learn from YouTube, but it can only get you so far, wasting a lot of time and material on trial and error. I’d tried looking up classes for design, but could only find universities, no local classes which taught the basics.”
“Interesting. I’m sure other budding artists run into similar trouble.”
I nod. My anxiety settles slightly at her agreement, giving me the strength to press on.
“That’s what brought about this idea.” Deep breath. Wipe palms. Sit still. “I’m proposing that we start to hold basic workshops here in the store. We can ask some of our more advanced customers to come in and teach the fundamentals for beginning artists.”
Jane nods quietly, encouraging me to plow on. “If that takes off, I was thinking we could also branch out into holding workshops for fun. We could hold classes for people who aren’t artists, but want a fun day of activity. For example, we could arrange a simple painting lesson and provide the supplies and an instructor. They just have to show up and have fun.”
Jane starts shaking her head and I halt, trying to figure out where I went wrong. She was nodding in the first half. Was it the suggestion of workshops for fun? Did I overlook something? Maybe she thinks it belittles the store to entertain non-artists? My anxiety pools in through every crack in my mental blockade, washing away all confidence I’d started to build.
Jane finally speaks. “I’m in shock and disbelief, Ara.”
This issonot good. This is what happens when I put my ideas out in the world when I should’ve known better.
“In all my years of business, I’ve never come up with something so...innovative. This is going to take our store to the next level.”
Wait,what!? Shelikesit?
“Really?” I say, way too surprised.
“Yes.” She conceals a grin. “I want you to write down the proposal and submit a budget to get it off the ground. Whatever you need, consider it done.”
“You trust me with your money? For one of my ideas?” I hadn’t even thought that far ahead. Never in a million years did I think I would run with this. I planned to tell her, as part of my job description, and move on.
Jane laughs. “Sweetie. What you’ve thought of is nothing short of genius. I think it’s the big push that this old place has always needed.” She considers me for a moment. “I believe in your idea, and I believe in your ability to make it into a reality. You should, too.”
I’m in shock.
Janelikesmy idea.
Jane would paymoneyfor my idea.
I didn’t get rejected.
I put aside my fears, and itgotme somewhere.
Somewheregood.
“Thank you so much, Jane. I won’t disappoint you.” I swear it to myself, most of all.
“I know you won’t. Now get to work on that proposal so we can start on these workshops immediately.”
I head out of her office high on adrenaline.
I fucking nailed that. I can’t wait to tell Theo. And Lou.
But more than anything, I wish I could tell Dad.
It’s the double-edged sword of loss. Harder times become harder, not being able to rest your head on their shoulder and seek their advice. But potentially worse than that is not being able to share the good times. Your successes. Your achievements. Your breakthroughs, after years of struggle. All I can do is imagine the way his eyes would fill with pride, how he would smile at my joy and wrap his arms around me in celebration.
I have to settle with the hope that somehow he knows.
