Page 59 of Last Letters to Ara
Looking at Blake after all of this time, I can’t help but wonder what I ever saw in him. Compared to Theo, his looks are average at best. Not to mention, his insides are full of the kind of poison which survives on bringing people down. Nothing but someone who’s peaked in college, desperate for it to last just a little longer.
I take my time scrutinizing Blake, finally seeing him for what he truly is.
“You’re right! It has been forever,” I say, my voice coated in Stevia. It seems sweet, but yuck. “I think the last time we saw each other must have been when I found you buried inside of Katie.”
Theo snorts beside me, but I know he doesn’t find it remotely funny. He extends a hand toward Blake, all confidence. “I’m Theo, Ara’s boyfriend.”
I try to keep the shock off of my face at the unexpected title as Blake takes his hand. “Nice to meet you, man, I’m Blake.”
“I know who you are.” Theo doesn’t bother concealing his venom, it’s laced in his words and written all over his face.
“Where’s Katie?” I will not cower around this asshole anymore.
“Oh, we aren’t together.”
“Shocking. You seemedreallyinto each other.”
Blake shrugs, finally having the sense to look a bit uncomfortable. “It didn’t work out.”
Good.I want him running away with his tail between his legs.
“So? Still in school?” I don’t know how he does it, but Theo makes college sound like an insult.
“Yeah, I’m just about to wrap up my bachelor’s degree.” Blake struggles to find his footing, but I won’t allow it.
“So you managed to pass geometry?” I ask, knowing how deep it will cut.
“Yeah. I did. So, what doyoudo?” Blake directs at Theo, changing from defense to offense, finally seeing that he’s in unwelcome territory and that I’m not going to take his shit anymore.
“I’m a writer,” Theo replies, matter of fact.
“What do you do for work then?” Blake is trying to sound cunning and condescending, but in competition with Theo, he sounds like a put-out meathead.
“Writingismy work. I’m a published author.” Theo glides. “Though, you don’t strike me as the reading type, so I’m not offended if you haven’t heard of me.”
I snort, never wanting to be on the opposing team against Theo.
Blake, not satisfied with missing his mark, turns on me. The easier prey.
“What about you, Ara?” The sick twist I know too well enters Blake’s voice. “Still living the dream as a college drop-out, working in a run-down café?”
I’m in shock for about three whole seconds.
Blake is resorting back to his old means, targeting my insecurities in an attempt to make me feel like I’m worthless. Getting me to question everything I want to accomplish. Showing me that I’m inferior. Making me malleable.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Theo already in motion, but I beat him to it.
This ismyfight.
I take every single ounce of hurt, grief, anger, and self-doubt that I’ve kept bottled up because of this gaslighting monster, throwing every single shred of pent-up emotion into the hardest, and only punch I have ever thrown.
Present - Ara
MY FIST COLLIDESwith Blake’s nose, using all my might. Blake used to spend lots of time in the mirror, obsessing over his slightly crooked nose left over from a sports injury, saying it ruined his face. So I know how to hit him where it hurts, too.
There is a small crunch, and I have no idea if it came from his face or my hand, but it’s the last thing on my mind as his nose starts to bleed. A cruel satisfaction spreads through me, having stood up to my bully and finally feeling powerful.
As pain lashes through my hand, I start to think the crunch may have come from my hand. I keep the hurt off my face, caused by both the punch and the sight of my dropped ice cream melting on the ground, ensuring all that Blake sees in my eyes is victory. “You don’t affect my happiness anymore.”
