Page 150 of Last Letters to Ara
Dave smiles, revealing a light gray envelope he had hidden behind his back. “You look beautiful, Ara, and I hope this brings you joy today.” With that, he leaves me alone with the familiar handwriting I have missed so much.
A soft sob escapes, and I clasp my hand over my mouth. I’ve read his letters over and over, anytime I needed his advice, his comfort. Receiving this today, on a day where I’m missing him more than I could imagine, means everything.
I open the letter.
Dear Ara,
Today is a pivotal day in your life. It’s hard for me to accept that I won’t get to meet the man you’re marrying and threaten him with a shotgun a few times, just for good measure, but nonetheless, the day has come.
It’s hard to believe that I won’t be there to take you dress shopping, just for you to realize you could make something for yourself more unique and beautiful than anything you could find in one of those shops.
I can’t accept the fact that I won’t get to walk you down the aisle and do a bad job of guiding you around a very small portion of the dance floor while I cry and blame it on my allergies.
I can’t imagine not getting to know the version of you who is ready to tie yourself with another for the rest of your life. It means you’ve changed. You’ve grown. You’ve opened your heart. You’ve trusted someone.
Please know that I’m there with you today, and I’ll be by your side for every moment of it. I want you to know that I am happy for you. In my last letter, I said that I wanted you to find love and you have, provided this isn’t one of those ridiculous fake marriages like you read about in your books.
After realizing what I did about love, I’ve since realized something about friends, too, and I can only hope that the person you love enough to marry is also your friend.
Friends are the true definition of unconditional. They don’t have to be there unless they want to. Unless you’re important to them. When you find a real one, there is nothing better out there. Supposedly it’s called a ride or die.
There is something you should know. I’ve made a friend.
I know, shocking. It wasn’t my doing. I only asked for a favor, and he sort of just noseyed his way into my life for the rest of it. But I gotta tell you, I’ll be forever grateful he did. He is what every friend should be. He’s been by my side through a lot already, and I trust that he will be here through the rest.
If I could change one thing, it would be that I remained your only friend. I think you got that from me, not wanting to branch out. I wish I’d given myself, and you, the opportunity to make more friends. I hope you’ve been granted that opportunity since I’ve been gone. You’re going to need them by your side today.
In the beginning, I swore him to secrecy because he is the person I left responsible for getting you the letters. I didn’t want to risk something petty happening and jeopardizing that. After getting to know him more, I’m wondering if that was the right call.
I’ve already given him the other letters, which you’ll be getting every month. This is the last letter. I’ve been putting it off for quite a while and I’d planned to write more, but I’ve gotten to the stage where I don’t think I’ll have the time to write another.
I haven’t known what to say, and I don’t want to make you cry too much. So, I guess I’d like to be able to leave you something, or someone, rather.
I don’t know how many years have passed, but if you ever need a friend, you could find Theo. Theo Carter. He would be a good one to you, as he has been a good one to me.
A ride or die.
I met him outside my office building one afternoon, and if there was ever a time that I would believe in fate, it would be then.
Theo is sitting in the other room as I write this. His instructions were to keep this arrangement a secret no matter what, but I’m having second thoughts. That’s because I want you to know that I haven’t been alone. He’s made sure of it. I also want you to know that if you ever needed anyone, I know Theo would be there for you.
When you meet him, or I guess I should say if you meet him, don’t believe a single story he tells about me as a young man. None of it is true.
A small part of me wonders if you two will have found a way to be friends long before you get this letter. Your old man can only hope. But, if not, Phil from Puffin Press can tell you how to find Theo if you ever want to.
With that out of the way, I’ve somehow got to get through this next part before my allergies get too much, which I better stop joking about soon, otherwise Theo is going to come home with a box of Claritin one of these days.
So here goes.
If I could make a toast on this important day, I would say that my wish for you and your new husband is this:Life goes by very, very fast, and I would just like to say that I hope you do your absolute best to make every day as much fun and great as it can possibly be.
I wish I could be there today. I’m sorry that I’m not.
I wish I never had to write a damn one of these letters.
I wish I could say it all in person.
I amsoproud of you.
