Page 99 of Last Letters to Ara
“Why not?”
He groans. “Because my characters have taken over my life. I can’t go anywhere or do anything with them plaguing my thoughts.”
“So?”
“So, I want every brain cell and burning iota of attention on you when Idokiss you.” Theo glides his thumb over my lips one more time before dropping his hand. “I want nothing else on our minds. Nothing else on our schedules. Nothing that is going to pull you out of my bed before I’m ready.”
I wait for the humiliation of rejection to sink in, but I realize it won’t. I can see how much not kissing me right now tortures him, and despite him giving me the courtesy of not saying it out loud, he knows how vulnerable I’ve been tonight, and above all else, he respects it. Standing here with Theo, nothing bared but our souls, he won’t risk moving too fast and have this night be responsible for anything other than healing.
Theo sits down on the gravel a moment later and sprawls out on his back, rubbing the spot next to him so that I join him. I place my head right next to his, so we are cheek to cheek, as our feet fan out in opposite directions.
The midnight sky takes away my words and Theo’s too. Every time I’d come here before, I was so wrapped up in my issues, I’d never lookedup. With the stars above as our only witness, we sit in comfortable silence for a while, the sound of traffic from below our only intrusion.
“Do you think they’re up there? Your parents and my mother?” Theo asks.
“Ever since I sawThe Lion Kingas a kid, I’ve wondered the same thing. I’ve always felt like there may be truth in that.”
He chuckles. “Could each new star represent a lost soul?”
“I think the scientists of the world have said enough on that.”
I feel, rather than see his smile. “True enough. I have my own theory.”
“What’s that?’
“I don’t believe we live just one life. I believe that we are reborn after death.”
“Like reincarnation?”
“Sort of.”
“That would suck. Having to do it all over again.”
“It could be another chance for those who messed it up the last time.” He shrugs. “Or more time for those who didn’t get enough.”
This gives me pause. “Do you think my dad is living another life somewhere?”
“Wouldn’t he prefer that than sitting around watching others live a life he can’t be part of anymore? Or not existing at all?”
I consider this. “I think he would.”
“But I do wonder if we’d get to pick where we go.”
”Dad would pick Australia.”
“Really?”
“I think so. He visited once when he was a young man and always talked about going back.”
“Where would you pick?”
I don’t hesitate. “Canada.”
“Canada!?” Theo laughs. “WhyCanada?”
“Don’t laugh!” I reach up and smack him on the shoulder with a laugh. “I think Canada is underrated. It’s stunningly beautiful there, and the people are lovely. It seems like a good choice.”
Theo just laughs.
