Page 92 of Last Letters to Ara
I open the letter.
Dear Ara,
In my last letter, I told you to do something you’ve always wanted to do, and I hope you did. I hope you continue making time for those things. That’s all I want for you: A life well-lived, full of happiness and fulfillment.
There is another thing in life which is so very important, and that is pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. I know, I know, if you try to think of a time where I pushed myself out of my own comfort zone, you’ll come up empty.
That’s because this isn’t my lesson, but something I know that your mother would have wanted me to impart to you. She is probably going to kick my ass for not stressing it more, if I’m lucky enough to find her again, that is.
You were always so brave already, sometimes it was a lesson that was easy for me to overlook. You were the one teaching me what it was like to run straight into the arms of life, and it always reminded me so much of your mother.
So, this month, your task is something she would have given you if she’d had the chance to write you a letter. This month’s task is to do something outside of your comfort zone. I’m sure very little of these last few months have been comfortable for you with me being gone.
This task though, is for something different.
Whatever it is in your life that you’re shying away from right now, I want you to tackle it. I want you to hit it head on no matter how far outside of your comfort zone it takes you. I want you to do that one thing which seems terrifying right now.
We have always been so much alike, and it’s made us the best of friends. Except, on this one thing, you’ve got to be different than me. Be like your mother, instead. You’ve got to be brave, and I know you can be brave, Ara.
I know this, because you have your mother in you. I’ve seen it in the set of your jaw when you get stubborn. I’ve seen it when you decide to hunker down and get something done. I saw it when you walked away from college because you believed you were capable of more.
So go out there with that bravery and throw yourself into whatever is scaring you.
I don’t know what it could be, but I know you already do.
I shouldn’t have to tell you, but I will.
Do it today.
No chickening out.
Love,
Dad
No chickening out!?Is he serious?
Newsflash: I’m a massive fucking chicken.
For once, Dad has been completely unhelpful. Surely he wrote this having no idea that it would have something to do with my friend whom I may or may not be falling for. Dad’s letter essentially means that I’m supposed to show up and tell Theo that I’m miserable without him.
This letter was supposed to tell me that I don’t need to tackle anything if I don’t want to. It was supposed to tell me to stay away from boys. He was meant to say that protecting myself comes before all else, and not risk my feelings getting hurt. Instead, I get this inspirational crap about being brave and running into the arms of life?
No, thanks.
I won’t be running into anything but the cushions of my couch, Dad.
I lift my middle finger up toward the sky and plop down.
• • •
Unsure if I’m just feeling guilty about sending my dead dad a middle finger, but after spending half the day watching Elena and Damon overcome the destiny of the universe so they can be together, I feel like doing something epic. Getting my friend back doesn’t mean I have to becompletelyvulnerable. I can take this one step at a time. Theo never pushes me further than I’m comfortable with anyway.
Now that I think of it, it’s kind of frustrating how much of a gentleman he is. Sometimes a girl just wants to be thrown against a wall when they’re least expecting it, you know? Maybe all this back and forth could have been avoided if he did that months ago.
A peek into my closet reminds me that I’ve only dressed for something epic once, on Valentine’s Day, and I settle for something a little less homeless before grabbing my keys. I take off in a little jog toward my door but stop after five steps, which is enough to remind me that I would prefer towalkinto life’s arms. Running is reserved for life and death situations only.
The plan forms in my head as I finally reach my door and lock it behind me. I’ll show up at Theo’s penthouse, knock on his front door, and explaineverything. I want him to understandwhyI’m so afraid and convince him that he can’t give up on me just yet.
