Page 55 of Last Letters to Ara
“I’m heading out now, I just wanted to make sure there was someone here to lock up because I have no idea how.”
“Of course, darling. I’ll close up on my way out.”
“Okay, then. See you tomorrow, Jane.”
“See you tomorrow, Ara.”
Walking back through the store, I admire everything in a new light. This is all mine to manage and care for.Myresponsibility. The most beautiful place in existence has been entrusted tome.
I give it one last look and step out into the cool evening air, finding Theo propped against the passenger door of his car, patiently waiting. A modern Prince Charming. He smiles so wide, I’m back at the top of that roller coaster, waiting for the fall.
“What’s in the bag?” he asks, always curious.
I look down thoughtfully at the giant bag full of material. “My next project.”
Theo waits.
I know Dad didn’t mean it in the literal sense, but in the end that’s what came to mind. A beautiful piece, made from dark material, sheer enough to see the silver lining beneath. A physical representation of being able to find that bright side despite whatever darkness tries to conceal it.
“I’m simply making something with a silver lining.”
Present - Ara
THEO TAKES USto a cute little town about fifteen minutes from Jane’s. I pestered him throughout the entire car ride to find out where we were going, but he insisted on keeping it a surprise. He pulls into the first parking lot we come across and finds a spot immediately.
The gravel crunches beneath my feet as I awkwardly lift myself out of the car. We’ve parked in a free city space, which means it isn’t particularly well cared for. Instead of cement, it’s laid with rocks and there’s overfilled dumpsters along one side. I look around for any clue as to where we are going, but don’t find any.
“My surprise is an empty parking lot?” I tease, shutting my door.
“You’re hilarious.” Theo wanders over to my side, getting closer and closer. His warmth permeates my right side as his breath caresses my ear. “Walking down Main Street, togetto your surprise, is part of the experience.”
Theo is close enough that with a tilt of my jaw and lift of my toes, I could kiss him. The edges of his clothes graze mine, as he braces his right hand on the car next to my head, leaning in a bit more. I close my eyes for a moment, wanting to be covered in his incredible scent. A distant part of myself wonders if that’s how dogs feel, right before they roll in shit.
My eyes open, wandering over his perfect lips, down his throat and muscled chest. They travel to his wide shoulders and corded arms, to the hand resting next to my head. One look at that hand, and it’s impossible not to imagine what those fingers could be capable of. I clench my jaw, swearing not to make a sound.
Theo’s breath picks up, grazing my lips, as if I’ve announced my thoughts with a megaphone.
That part of me, which isn’t really me, suddenly opens its eyes. The mental panic crowds in, claws sinking into my flesh, telling me to shy away. This is real. This is dangerous. This could result in irreparable pain.
Looking up, I try to reason with it, try to push it out. This is Theo. It feelsright.
Theo is nearly panting now, and whether it’s from desire or restraint, I’m not sure. His eyes are locked on my lips, and I’m using everything I have to overcome the anxious beast who is trying to steal this moment from us. While I silently will him to close that tiny distance, and give us what we’re both craving, the beast reminds me of everything I have to lose.
Always the gentleman, Theo’s eyes slowly climb up to mine seeking permission. A torturously long second crawls forward, indecision touching his eyes, my heart slamming against my ribs. Unsure of what outcome I’m hoping for, I hold my breath and wet my lips.
Except whatever he finds in my expression has him pulling back.
Like a douse of cold water, chill night air rushes back in and bursts our little bubble. I want to tell him to wait. I want to grab him and slam him against the car. I want him to pick me up so I can wrap my legs around his waist, while I press my lips to his and see how we fit. I want his hands all over me, feeling every inch of my body which burns for him.
Instead, he clears his throat, reaching down to yank my cardigan from where I didn’t notice it’d been caught. “Your sweater was stuck in the door.”
Lit on fire by his eyes alone, I don’t know what will happen when he finally touches me, but a voice in the back of my head stops me from asking him to. Whatever his reason for pulling back, Theo has always given me the space I need, and I trust him.
So, I close the distance between us once again, but instead of dragging my nails down his back, I hook my arm around his. “Lead the way. I want my surprise.”
His smile, accompanied by stormy eyes which haven’t quite sobered and the sound of our crunching steps, are his only answer.
After a few minutes of walking down Main Street, I start to recognize where we are. Blake used to drag me here all the time to one of his favorite restaurants, which is just across the road from where we are now, and I silently plead that it’s not where we’re going.
