Page 144 of Last Letters to Ara
“I amsosorry.” Linda looks at me now. “I’m still learning about these things.”
“MOM!” Lou yells. “Ara is not mygirlfriend. She is JUST a friend who also happens to be a female.”
“Oh…” Linda says, processing. “Oh. So you’re not…together?”
“No!! Ara has aboyfriend, and she’s like mysister.”
Pause. “Oh. Well, isn’t this even more embarrassing now.”
Everyone at the table looks like they’re about to pass out. People are whispering in each other’s ears. The aunt is wailing in the bathroom. Someone’s grandmother starts to utter a prayer as she clutches her cross, and all I want to do is laugh. So, I do.
“It’s okay, Linda. I’m not offended at all, and I think it’s wonderful how accepting you were, thinking I was her girlfriend.” I smile, sending an encouraging look to Lou. “We really are like sisters. My boyfriend had to go out of town, and Lou brought me along, not wanting to leave me alone during the holiday, especially since I can’t cook.”
“Well, of course, you’re welcome regardless!!” Linda says sweetly. “Nobody goes hungry on Thanksgiving, and let’s just pretend none of this happened, yes?”
Lou drags her hands down her face and laughs, “Mortifying family conversations?Check.Reminder that I’m the last single one of the family?Check.It’s a real Thanksgiving now!”
We all laugh at that.
“Let’s make a toast,” I say, Dad’s letter coming back to me. “I’ll start. I’m thankful for having Lou as my very best friend, she has become my family, and I can’t remember what life was like without her.”
Taking turns, sharing what we are thankful for, we all laugh and drop our arms as they start to ache by the fifth person. Finally, we make it through the entire table and clink our glasses together.
I pause before taking a sip, thinking of everything else I’m thankful for. I think about Jane and the leap of faith she took on me, putting everything into motion after giving me my first dose of confidence in the workplace. I think about my designs, my beautiful machine and how happy I am to make a career out of something I love.
I think of Connor, my chosen brother.
I think of Theo, for walking into my life when I was shrouded in darkness and lighting a torch, for being the kind of person who makes me believe in this world again.
Then, I think of Dad. Most people never get to know what it’s like to have a dad like him. A parent and a true guardian, but above all else, a friend. Even though my time with him was cut short, I would pick him every single time.
I am thankful for all of our laughs and our jokes and our moments. I’m thankful that even in death, he didn’t abandon me, but instead held my hand. Perhaps the first few months I was so enveloped in my grief that I did not feel it. I was so focused on him being gone in the physical sense that I didn’t realize that he’s never left; that he willalwaysbe here.
Ever present. Ever existing. Ever alive.
• • •
“What are we doing here?” Suspicion creeps into Lou’s voice as I pull into a parking lot in the heart of Tampa. The rest of Thanksgiving was beautiful, full of love and laughter, and I knew it was the perfect time to make a little stop on the way home. “Is this where you finally kill me after working so hard to gain my trust?”
I snort. “I would come up with something a lot more original than an abandoned warehouse.”
“Fair.” She looks around some more, peeking in through the little windows of the warehouse. Finally, she spots the little building, not much more than a shack that sits adjacent to the main building as she wanders over to check it out. “Oh, this is cute.”
Lou takes in the baby blue painted wood and white trim which desperately needs a coat of paint. She runs her hand down the smooth, yellow door and touches the weeds which have taken over the little planters, her curiosity finally winning out. “So what are we doing here?”
“I wanted to show it to you because…I bought it.”
“What!?” Lou spins on me, excitement and shock spreading across her face. “Are you fucking with me!?”
I laugh. “I’m not.”
“You bought this whole thing!?” she exclaims, gesturing to the little shack, the warehouse which will become my design hub, and the parking lot.
I nod. “There is only one problem…”
“What?”
“I need a tenant for the additional space,” I say motioning behind her. “And I won’t be able to be here every day unless I have access to coffee at all times…”
