Page 111 of Last Letters to Ara
WILLIAM DID NOToversell these waffles.
“Have you seen that movie? The one where the husband dies and leaves letters to his wife?”
I shake my head. “I haven’t, actually.”
“Well, good. At least one of us has his manhood still intact.”
I chuckle. I get the sense that if I got to know him a bit better, I’d spend the majority of my time with him laughing.
“She made me watch it with her.” Pause. Throat clear. “It was...well made.”
I cover my smile with another bite of waffles.
“I plan to do the same thing. I’m going to write letters to Ara.”
“That’s beautiful.” I ignore the sudden quickening of my pulse at hearing her name for the first time.Ara.
“I’m no poet, so don’t give me too much credit.” Longer pause, and he tilts his head in that way that shows he’s considering something difficult. “It hinges on the fact that I manage to write them.”
Even in death, his thoughts revolve around his daughter, making sure that she will be okay. It will take strength to write those letters, and I can’t begin to imagine what he is going through, especially having to face it alone. I can’t stand the thought of it, William dying alone.
“I plan to write her a letter for each month, the first delivery being just over a week after the funeral. I want her to have the time to process it all.”
“And after the first week?”
“The letters will need to be delivered in order, each month. The address will be on the envelopes. Probably via the postal service or courier. If it’s done as a mystery, she will turn into Nancy Drew and bust us.”
The postal service isn’t the most reliable, but I can think of one man, rosy and joyous enough to take this on. “I could work that out.”
“I also want to write her a letter for her wedding day.” William gathers himself. “You know, the one day above all others that I’m supposed to be there for.”
I nod.
“I’m not sure how you’ll stay up to date with how to get the letters to her...”
“I’ll get them to her. Whatever it takes.”
He nods. “Thank you, Theo.”
Present - Ara
IT’S WEIRD. EVERYmonth, I’d expected the letter to be delivered differently, but month after month it’s always been delivered the same way. July’s letter is no different. Dave knocks on my door with a smile full of joy. I open the door and he gives it to me, allowing me another precious moment with Dad. I thank him, sometimes with special treats, and then I close the door.
This time, though, I wasn’t expecting it today. Or this week. Nor did I expect it to be accompanied by a big box, wrapped in paper. In fact, I’d become worried that I wouldn’t be getting a letter this month since the usual delivery date had come and gone.
I should have known better.
Of course, he would send it on my birthday. It’ll be different, not being with my dad this year, but knowing that I will have a good time with Lou makes it easier on my heart. It’s a gift on its own, having such a beautiful friend to help me feel celebrated. I know Theo will want to do something when he gets back in a few days, too.
Life has gotten easier, which means that I’m healing. Both from the loss of my dad, but also from all the things that came before it. Sometimes, the grief still hits me with no mercy when something reminds me of him, but I don’t think that will ever change. And sometimes that ugly monster who wants me afraid tries her hand again, too. It will be a battle every day to fend them off, but I’m winning.
The letters have played an important role in getting me to this place. If it weren’t for my dad, guiding my path, I don’t know if I would have ever made it out of that dark hole.
I will always miss him, and it hits me at all different times. It’s when I take a bite of popcorn that’s perfectly buttered and just a bit too salty, or imagining what he would say if he was watching the movie with me. There will never not be a place where he should be in my life. But I know, the only reason I could go on living was because he figured out a way to convince me that it was worth it.
My phone buzzes and butterflies come with the notification when I see the sender.
Theo: Happy birthday, beautiful. I wish I was there.
