Page 162 of War Queen
She looked up to see Lucien watching her. And looking at her the way that he was, he looked so much like Alexander…
“I could give him to you, Norah. I could give you Alexander.”
Her heart stopped.Alexander. She could see him again. Be near him. She could hug him again, feel his warmth.
But Alexander was gone. Her chest tightened, and emotion rose in her throat. “It wouldn’t be real,” she whispered.
“You could let it be real.”
She smiled sadly. “No, Lucien.”
They stood quietly for a time.
“Would you let me see Adrian?” he asked. “Will you let him come to see me? I’ve looked at him in your mind, but… to see him in his person, in life. I’d like that.”
She hesitated, searching for words. “Things are… complicated.” She licked her lips. “I haven’t even told him you’re alive.”
His eyes gave a flash of surprise, but he nodded. “I understand,” he said softly.
“Can I think about things?”
“Yes, of course.”
Her eyes moved back over his body. So many markings. Everything she asked, he so freely answered, so freely gave to her. “Thank you, for sharing this with me,” she said. “For sharing everything with me.”
He nodded.
“I should go.”
“Do you have enough blood to call me back?”
She had enough for one more visit, and she nodded.
“Goodbye, Norah.”
“Goodbye.”
She opened her eyes to the darkness of the stairwell and wiped the blood from her palm with her handkerchief. She was about to step back up into her dressing chamber, but she paused and leaned against the railing, trying to get a hold of the sudden swell of emotion.
He could give her Alexander.
No. He couldn’t.
Alexander was gone.
Gone.
She turned back toward the tunnels and took the right narrow passage to the end before turning left. The lantern provided little light, but she knew where she was going. She followed the tunnel to the end and pushed out the door to a small cobbled street outside the castle. She glanced around as she hurried to the cliffs, making sure she wasn’t seen.
Norah lowered herself down the center crag and toward the cave. She hadn’t visited for some time, but the nostalgia that settled over her as she stepped inside brought a wave of tears. She didn’t try to hold them. She felt her way along the cave until she reached the caverns.
Clouds choked out the sky, but the opening above still provided enough light to fill the cavern. She sucked in a breath, simply letting the emotion come. All of it. The sorrow in losing Catherine, in missing Alexander, the crushing weight of threatening war—everything.
Everything.
And she wept.
She stumbled into the pool and let the water’s warmth envelope her. Her skirts billowed up around her. She wanted them off, she wanted it all off, and she clawed at the lacing on her back. Fabric tore as she pushed the gown down and over her hips, but she didn’t care. She needed to get out of it. She stripped it away, until she stood only in her shift in the pool.
