Page 118 of War Queen
He swallowed the lump forming in his throat. “Thank you.”
While his heart leapt at her words, they didn’t matter. He couldn’t let them matter. This was Tahla’s decision, and he respected it, regardless of how much it hurt. And it was the right decision. Whether Caspian had an heir was of no consequence—there was nothing to pass down, nothing to inherit. There was nothing at stake. But Tahla had a duty to her people. Katakah would be chief one day, and the Uru depended on that identity, that loyalty. He knew Tahla loved him, but he also knew duty. And for duty, they’d sacrifice.
Tahla appeared and stepped around the fire, and both Norah and Caspian shifted their attention to her. She paused when she saw him and gave a warm smile. “Lord Justice,” she said.
He loved the sound of her voice, no matter what she said. He gave a respectful nod, as anyone would, grateful he didn’t have to speak, because he didn’t think he could.
“I think he’s ready for bed,” Norah said as she passed the child back to Tahla. “His eyes are sleepy.”
“He most certainly is.” Tahla scooped the baby into her arms, looking down at him. “I have to feed him and put him down. I’ll see you off in the morning, Salara.”
Norah clasped her arm with a smile. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Tahla left with the child, and Caspian had to force himself not to watch her go. He waited until he had finished his soup and until Norah left for her own bed. Then he could wait no more.
He trailed the shadows of the village streets, moving quietly, back to where he knew Tahla resided with the child. He wasn’t sure how she’d feel about him coming on his own. She’d always come to his dwelling, or invited him to her. But he couldn’t wait for that. He didn’t know when he’d see her or Katakah again, and he wanted every moment.
When he reached the house, he was surprised to find the door ajar. He paused, swaying to eye the candlelit room inside through the crack, but it seemed empty. Slowly, he pushed the door open and stepped inside.
“Back here,” came Tahla’s voice from the room behind a hanging panel.
Caspian closed the door behind him and moved toward the back room. Stepping around the panel, he drew in a breath as his eyes caught Tahla sitting in the center of the bed, cross-legged, with Katakah at her breast. Never had he seen her more beautiful.
She smiled at him. “I was hoping you wouldn’t make me come get you.”
He smiled back. “If I’m welcome, I’ll come directly from now on.”
She held out a hand for him. He closed the gap between them and took it, letting her pull him onto the bed beside her.
“You’re always welcome,” she said.
Caspian clasped her cheek and leaned in to kiss her. Her lips were warm and sweet. When he pulled back, he looked down at the child. “He’s growing,” he said softly.
“He is.”
“He looks like you.” He cupped the top of the child’s head. The boy’s dark hair was thick but soft, and there was a lot of it. Caspian could already see he’d have his mother’s mane.
She smiled as she grazed the child’s cheeks with her fingertips. “I still see you when I look at him.” Her face turned serious. “I’m sorry, Caspian. For tonight. I know it’s hard, and I know this isn’t what you want.”
He shook his head. “You don’t have to apologize. You’re making the right decision for Katakah and your people. I only want to share this life with you as much as I can. I love you, Tahla.”
Her smile returned. “I love you,” she whispered.
“There is something, though.” He sat for a moment, swallowing the lump rising in his throat. Then he pulled the ring off his smallest finger and placed it in her hand.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“It’s customary in Mercia for a man to give a woman a ring when they’re wed, to remind her of his love for her.”
“Caspian,” she breathed.
“I know,” he said quickly as he shifted closer to her, being careful not to bump Katakah. “And I won’t speak of it again after this. I won’t ask you anymore. I only want you to know there will be no other in my heart but you. I make you this vow. I love you, Tahla. I love our child. And I want you to remember that every day.” He paused and swallowed again. “And if you should ever find in your heart that you think of me as your husband, just wear this ring, and it will be so.”
“Caspian, I—”
“Don’t answer,” he stopped her. “Don’t answer. I say this only for you to know.”
Her eyes glistened as she curled her fingers around the ring, and he brought his lips to hers.
