His expression closed. “They’ll be fine with it.”
“Will be. You haven’t told them?”
He shrugged.
She looked from him to her family and back to him. “But you told mine?”
He nodded. “I asked them for their blessing, yes.”
From the big smiles on her brothers’ faces, she knew they expected her to leave the car with a ring on her finger. Her gaze flew back to Grant. Is this all so the baby can be a Barrington? He bought an office building so he could work from here. He bought a house for us. He didn’t have to do that. Am I crazy to worry?
I’m falling for him, but how can I give him my heart when he is giving me only half of himself? Audrey would probably slap me senseless for hesitating, but isn’t this the best time to ask my questions? If we can’t talk to each other now, what kind of marriage would we have? “Do you love me?” she asked softly.
He opened his mouth to say something then snapped his teeth together and said nothing. In one way it was a letdown, in another it supported her instincts. “No one would ever take better care of you than I will. You and our baby will never want for anything.” He kissed her then and her willpower nearly crumbled.
She broke the kiss off and framed his face with her hands. “Promise me something.”
“Anything,” he answered huskily.
“Promise you won’t ask again until your answer is yes.”
“I—I—Okay.”
She fell even more in love with him because he could have lied, but they’d sworn to be honest with each other. “And I want to meet your family.”
His expression tightened. “Why?”
“Because they’re a part of you.” She took a deep breath and plowed on. “I’m falling for you, but I can’t love half a man. I don’t know if you’re ashamed of me or what we did, but—”
“I’m not.” His expression turned pained. “God, don’t even think that. Meeting you has been like being given a second chance at life.”
“What was wrong with your first chance?”
She sensed him withdrawing mentally before he withdrew physically. He pocketed the ring box and sat back in his seat. His hand grazed the top of the folder he’d brought with him. He picked it up and held it up between them as if it contained the answers to her questions. “I’m not half a man here. I’m the man I’ve always wanted to be.”
“I don’t understand. Help me understand.”
Grant didn’t know how to explain it since it was something he was still figuring out. He’d never been comfortable talking about his emotions and growing up sharing them was discouraged. In the Barrington home, all that had mattered was how things appeared. Yes, things were changing, but to an extreme he didn’t know how to deal with.
How could he take Viviana into that mess?
“Tell me about your family,” she ordered softly.
“I have.”
“I know their names. I know what they do for a living. I don’t know what kind of people they are. Do you get along with them? Did they do something that makes you want to hide here with me?”
“I’m not hiding.” His neck warmed as his pride took a hit. Is that how she sees me? It stung that she might have the same view of him as his family did.
“Then talk to me.”
He looked out the window at her family who was still watching them. “This is going nowhere. Let’s go eat.”
She touched his forearm, bringing his attention back to her. “You just asked me to marry you. You want to live with me, raise a child with me. How can we do that if you won’t let me in?”
“What do you want from me?”
“The truth.”
His phone beeped with a message. He checked the caller ID. It was Ian. Something in him snapped and he growled, “We all think we want the truth, but it doesn’t make anything better. In fact, sometimes the truth has the power to destroy everyone you care about and drag you down as well. I thought I was doing the right thing. I might have had a moment or two when I imagined I could fix what was wrong with my family. I saw myself as some kind of fucking unsung hero who’d just been given a chance to prove himself. I didn’t help my family. I handed them a loaded gun. Judge me if you must, but I can’t stomach watching my family fall apart a second time. That’s why you haven’t met them.”
Viviana took his hand and brought it up to her face. “Whatever happened, Grant, I know you’re a good man. I needed time away from family to find a way back to them. Maybe it’s the same for you.”
“I wish it were that simple. It’s more fucked up than that.”
“Okay. Just know I’m here when you’re ready to tell me.” He thought she would push him for more, but she didn’t. She simply sat there, holding his hand against her cheek and smiling at him with her heart in her eyes. So beautiful, he could barely breathe.
I should have said I love her, but what the hell do I know about love?
His phone beeped again. He didn’t check it this time. Whatever his family was so urgently trying to tell him could wait until after dinner. Despite what she’d said, he didn’t want to expose her to . . .
Oh, my God, this is what my father did with my mother. He was so afraid she might have another breakdown, he maintained a distance between her and anything unpleasant. We children came second to his need to shelter her.
I’m recreating that with Viviana. Is that what I want? A family based on an illusion of perfection? Viviana is not my mother. She’s strong. She doesn’t want the fairy tale.
The look in her eyes told him everything he needed to know. She wants me. The real me. And she’s not going to settle for less.
He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. “How was I lucky enough to find you?”
She grinned. “I believe I found you.”
“Oh, yes,” memories of that first day came rushing back and he was suddenly turned on as well as confused, and that never helped a man sort his thoughts out.
The color that rose in her cheeks meant she was getting good at reading his thoughts. He glanced down at the bulge in the front of his jeans. So subtle.
He kissed her gently then sat back even though he craved more. Her family was expecting to celebrate an engagement, not a public mauling. He glanced over his shoulder. Dylan had a plate in one hand. He shamelessly shoveled a bite of food into his mouth then waved the fork in the air to summon them. Connor tapped his watch. Her father stood with his arms folded across his chest, watching.
“This is going to be awkward,” Grant said.
She raised a finger in the air toward her family as a sign that they needed another moment. When she looked back at Grant, her eyes were troubled. “I’m sorry.”
He pulled her into his arms. “Don’t be. I always know how I stand with you, and you have no idea how much I value that.” He kissed her again. “I will ask again.”
She kissed him back. “You’d better.”
His phone rang another time, and he groaned. He held the phone up and said, “I have an idea about why my family is calling, but it could be anything at this point. I can try to prepare you, or I can let you dive in and hear it for yourself.”
She studied his face for a moment. “Either way as long as you’re okay to share it. It’s okay if you’re not. I understand now.”
He took a deep, fortifying breath and made his decision. She’d been a playmate and a friend. Marrying her was something he’d decided made sense because of how well they got along, both in and out of bed. But this—this was deeper. She was offering him the kind of loving acceptance he’d stopped believing was possible. It shook him to the core. He wished he could go back to the first moment they met and do everything that followed better.
I can’t imagine my life without her in it.
Is that love?
“I—I—” His phone went to voicemail then started ringing again. “I’m ready.” He answered and pressed speakerphone. “Ian, sorry, I was in the middle of something. What do you
need?”
“You need to get your ass home,” Ian barked. “I can’t contain this on my own. I’m doing everything I can to keep it out of the news. I can only call in so many favors. I know you asked for time to sort out your own shit, but you need to know what’s going on because it’s spiraling out of control.”
Viviana’s mouth rounded in surprise.
“Ready?” he mouthed silently.
Viviana nodded.
Grant asked aloud, “What’s going on?”
“Yesterday, at the family meeting you were too busy to attend, Mom and Dad announced the results of the DNA testing. The baby they buried wasn’t Kent.”
“What?” Grant asked in shock.
“You heard me right. They don’t know who that baby was, but it wasn’t related to us. Mom is convinced that means Kent is alive and out there. Emily is the only reason Asher hasn’t gone after Stiles again, but I don’t know how much longer he’s going to listen to her. He wants to beat the truth out of Stiles. Helene’s parents flew in when they heard the news. She and Andrew are in hiding with them. They’re not answering my calls, so I don’t know what they’re up to. Kenzi and Mom tried to hire that woman, Alethea Niacharos, but she said she’s waiting to hear from you. I was going to talk to her myself, but didn’t you fire her because her methods were illegal?” Without giving Grant time to answer, Ian continued, “Oh, and did I mention that Dax conveniently disappeared on a business trip with Lance. Seriously? Lance? Who do they think they’re fooling? Your guess is as good as mine on which member of our family is going to get arrested or killed first. You need to get back here and help me talk some sense into everyone.”
