Page 30 of Let It Burn (The Barrington Billionaires 4)
Andrew almost said, “Something did,” but instead nodded once.
Asher turned his son against his shoulder. “Sorry.” Emily elbowed him and gave him a pointed look. “I do love you. We all do.”
His father cleared his throat. “Why don’t we bring this all back inside and start over?”
One by one, his family turned and walked back in the house until only he and Helene remained on the steps. He bent and whispered against her lips. “Any minute you’ll realize that being with me is not worth all the shit I’ve brought into your life.”
She went on her tiptoes and between kisses said, “I’ll never say that.”
A few minutes later, after sharing a deeply passionate kiss, they stood simply holding each other. “You deserve to be with someone who can love you.”
Her eyes turned sad. “And that can’t be you?”
He hugged her tighter. He wanted to say it could be, but the man he’d been wouldn’t have walked out of the house and left her with his family. He wouldn’t promise her anything until he knew he’d be there for her, not battling shame and confusion. He still felt nothing for himself beyond disgust. How could a man like that love anyone?
Chapter Seventeen
In what could only be described as a surreal turn of events, Helene found herself seated at a large table having dinner with Andrew’s family as if nothing unusual had occurred. Conversation was polite. Stories were told and laughter occasionally erupted.
Helene remembered what Andrew had said about his mother being fragile and everyone tiptoeing around her. She wondered what his family thought of her. Not that fear of their opinion would have changed a single thing she’d said.
She cringed as she remembered her choice of words. She’d never been one to swear or to cause a scene, but something inside her had snapped when she’d watched Andrew’s brothers essentially run him out of the house. She’d understood Andrew’s withdrawal. From the way he’d described his family, there was no winning unless he chose to push back, and he didn’t feel he could do that without upsetting his mother. She wasn’t proud of how she’d handled the situation, but if she was allowed to do it all over again she wasn’t sure she’d do it better. She’d been angry for Andrew. He needed his family’s support, not to get into a shouting match with them. Andrew didn’t want to give himself anything else to regret, and that’s why he’d removed himself.
It was also why he was pushing her away.
She thought about what Andrew had said just before they’d come back into the house and a wave of sadness swept through her. He not only didn’t love her, he didn’t see it as a possibility in the future. It hurt to hear it. While conversation buzzed around her, she sat quietly, and the realization that he meant more to her than she meant to him sunk in. She excused herself and sought the solace of the guest bathroom.
After washing her hands a few times, she met her eyes in the mirror. She thought about something her father had said when he’d walked in and caught her crying over a raccoon they’d tried to save, but who had ultimately died of complications from internal injuries. She’d apologized and told him she was trying to not break down every time they lost an animal. He’d said, “There’s no shame in crying, honey. You love animals. Love is what keeps us caring and no matter how things turn out, it’s always worth the pain.”
Always worth the pain.
She was definitely more carefree before she’d met Andrew, but she couldn’t wish she hadn’t met him. She’d meant it when she’d said she was falling in love with him. He’d brought a whole side of her to life, a side she hadn’t known was dormant. If he hadn’t come into her life she wouldn’t know what she wanted from a relationship. He had deepened her understanding of what was possible and given her insight into even her own parents’ marriage. They were partners both in marriage and in their passion for the rescue. Perhaps because they had experienced some intense situations, the bond between Andrew and her was strong. He might worry that he couldn’t be there for her the way he thought he should be, but he’d already proven that he wouldn’t leave her. With actions, if not in words, he’d already shown that her safety was his priority.
He’s probably feeling guilty about walking out of his parents’ house without me, but I get it. I pulled him into what he said he wasn’t ready to face. If I had one do-over, I would let him come here on his terms.
She dabbed her tears away. He needs me to be strong. I can cry later when this is all over.
She stepped out of the bathroom and came to a skidding halt when Andrew’s mother called out her name.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Sophie said, stepping close so she could lower her voice. “I wanted to thank you for bringing Andrew to us.”
“You’re welcome, but it was really Dax who brought him back,” Helene said, clasping her hands before her.
Sophie reached out and laid a hand on Helene’s. “I’m so glad my son found someone like you.”
Helene’s eyes filled with tears. She wanted to believe he felt that way. “He’s an incredible man.”
“Yes, he is. He’s hurting, though, isn’t he?”
Since it was far from a secret, Helene nodded.
“Has he told you why?”
Helene shook her head.
Sophie brought a hand up to rub her temple. “It’s my fault, you know. I faced something ugly once, and I let it beat me. My husband worried about me so he kept our house peaceful. We didn’t realize what message we were sending to our children. When things go wrong, they don’t know how to turn to each other for help. They snap because they’ve never talked things out. Asher truly does love and admire Andrew, but none of my sons are comfortable talking about their feelings. He needed to hear he wasn’t expressing himself appropriately. We’re not perfect, but when it matters, we’re there for each other. Especially since Kenzi opened my eyes to how my pain had affected the family. It wasn’t easy to hear, but it brought us closer together. I’m not perfect and I don’t need my children to be. I want to be there for them, for the good times and the bad times. I don’t want to miss out on any more than I already have.”
“Have you said any of this to Andrew?” Helene asked.
Sophie opened and closed her mouth for a moment then said, “No. Not yet.”
“You should. He needs to hear it.”
Sophie wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “Before you leave, I’ll take him aside and tell him.”
“That’ll be good for both of you, I think.”
Sophie nodded. “Don’t let this visit run you off. We’re actually a very nice family once you get to know us. I hope you’ll give us a chance and come back again.”
Helene wanted to reassure Sophie, but knowing this visit might be her last made her choose her words carefully. “I’m sure I will. Sorry about how I acted earlier. That wasn’t the best first impression of me.”
Sophie studied her face quietly then said, “You were beautifully fierce for all the right reasons. Asher can still be a hammer at times when a softer approach would work better. With Emily he’s a lamb, but he has always charged in first and reflected later. I wish I knew how to get those two boys to see that they are more alike than they are different. My greatest fear is my children end up like my sister and I did. We never did find our way back to each other. She was a stranger to me by the time she died, and I regret that as much as I regret anything else. That’s not the lesson I wanted to pass on to my children. It would break my heart to see their relationships with each other become irreconcilable.”
Helene wasn’t sure what to say so she made sympathetic sounds and gave Sophie’s arm a supportive rub. “I’m sure it won’t come to that.”
Sophie smiled sadly. “I’m so sorry to lay this on you. I spent so many years holding everything in that it bursts out of me at times.”
“It’s okay. I understand.”
“Andrew said your family lives in Florida. Are you close?”
“Very, my mother is my best fri
end.”
“What does she think of Andrew?”
“She says he’s amazing.”
“And your father?”
Helene smiled ruefully. “He was understandably concerned when he first heard I was coming here, but he trusts my judgment. I told him this was important, and he’s being supportive of both Andrew and me.”
“I’d love to meet them sometime,” Sophie said.
Helene whipped out her phone. “Really? You have no idea how much better it would make them feel if you said a few words to them now.”
“Oh. Now? Right now?”
“Sure.” Helene dialed her parents’ number. When her mother picked up, she said, “Mom. Dad. Put me on speakerphone. I’m here with Andrew’s mother and she’d like to say hello.”
Sophie accepted the phone and held it to her ear. She looked slightly uncertain when she greeted them. “Hello.”
Helene watched and waited as her parents spoke. She could only see Sophie’s expression and hear her side of the conversation, which made it tricky to gauge how it was going.
