Long awkward pause. “No, that was nice.”
Nice. Hmm.
She continued, “I should have said that I would love anything you gave me. And that’s what I meant to say. I was just trying to be funny, and if it came out sounding ungrateful, I’m sorry.”
This was an interesting side of Lexi. He had no idea that she worried so much about how others felt. “I probably would have bought you a diamond bracelet, but Dax and I decided what I gave you was a better choice.”
“What exactly did you give me? I opened it, but as far as I can see it’s simply a spreadsheet of companies and emails. Did you accidentally upload the wrong file?”
Now we see if the time I put in was worth it. “No, that’s the right file. I spent the last couple weeks calling people and asking them if they have a job for you. I wasn’t sure if you actually loved HR or if you would choose something else if you had the chance, so start by picking the company you’d like to work for, then contact them with a description of what you’d like to do. They’ll either give you a job they have or create one for you.”
Lexi gasped. “You called everyone on this list? There’s over a hundred companies.”
“Then you should definitely be able to find a job you like.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Thank you?”
She sniffed. “This is beyond nice. This is . . .”
Don’t let her say “too much.”
“. . . phenomenal,” she finished softly. “I could cry.”
A feeling spread through him that was a million times better than any chemical high he’d ever had. Was this what Dax had referred to? “Don’t cry. Find something you want to do. I hear life is a lot more enjoyable when you have a project you’re passionate about.”
“Do you have one?” Her tone was hopeful, and he was glad his answer was now a yes.
“I’ve recently become involved in a couple of charities. It can be difficult to choose one when there so many in need. Sophie’s New Year’s fundraiser sounds like my next big investment. I’d like to surprise her with something for it, but I’m still working out the details. With only a week left, I could use your help to plan it.”
There was a long pause during which he held his breath.
Finally, she said, “I’d love to.”
“Great. I’ll pick you up in the morning, and we’ll go to the Barrington’s together.”
“I’d rather meet you there.”
Hmm.
“Okay, if that’s what you want.”
“Yes.” There was another pause before she said, “Clay, thank you for calling around for me. No one has ever done anything like that for me, and I don’t know what to say, except that I’m grateful.”
Deciding to lighten the mood, he purred, “Grateful or grateful?”
She laughed, “Good night, Clay.”
“Good night, Lexi.”
Later that night, Clay lay back in bed with his hands tucked beneath his head and tried to go to sleep. It’ll never happen. He was anxiously awaiting Christmas morning.
And he was smiling.
Across town, Lexi lay in her own bed staring up at the ceiling with the flash drive Clay had given her still clutched in her hand. Whether it was the holiday season or being close to so many couples who were gushing love for each other, Lexi was sliding dangerously close to wanting to believe in love again.
It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in any kind of love.
She and Willa had a sister bond that nothing could ever break.
Although not related by blood, she saw her relationship with Kenzi the same way.
The last few weeks had proven to Lexi that Sophie and Dale saw her as more than simply Kenzi’s friend. They accepted her as she was and that was more than Lexi had ever hoped for.
But Clay—
He was a whole other level. The problem with letting herself believe that his feelings for her might be real was that then she had to ask herself how she felt about him. Not just how flirting with him made her feel, but what she thought of him as a man.
He certainly wasn’t humble by nature, but he had little reason to be. Very few people were born into his level of wealth. If life was fair, it would have compensated that good fortune by making him hideously ugly. Instead he had the classic, handsome features of the English with a height that hinted at a splash of Norwegian genes. He always dressed in a casual, but professional, style that could easy grace the cover of a men’s magazine.
It wasn’t that Lexi didn’t think she could attract such a man, that part had never been the issue. It was everything that came after the initial chase that was a disappointment. Men didn’t make an effort to know her, they wanted her on a basal level that didn’t require a working knowledge of her favorite books or childhood memories. Repeated similar experiences had jaded Lexi toward men. Definitely toward men like Clay.
She held the flash drive above her face and studied it. The Clay I know wouldn’t spend weeks compiling a list of places he’d contacted for me. So, either there is another side to him—or he really, really wants to sleep with me.
The latter was depressing but easier to believe.
Lexi rolled onto her side and tucked the flash drive beneath her pillow. The digital clock beside her bed displayed the switch to Christmas Day with the same lack of fanfare Lexi associated with the holiday. She thought back to the confusing mix of emotions that had filled her each year during her childhood. The years that her aunt and uncle had picked them up from the boarding school had been awkward and stilted. The years after had been better, but still had lacked the magic people associated with the holiday. As a child as well as an adult she’d always found Christmas to be a sham, all build up but just another day in the end.
She rolled onto her back and slammed a fist onto the bed beside her. If she was this wide awake during any other time of year she would have flipped on the television, but her mood wouldn’t be improved by the onslaught of holiday specials. They didn’t represent any version of Christmas she’d ever known.
Men like Clay weren’t looking for more than sex and the only magic Christmas held was its ability to make everyone spend more money than they should. And I’ll prove it.
She picked up her phone from the table beside her bed and dialed his number. He won’t even answer. He’s probably with someone else.
“Lexi, is everything okay?” he asked in a voice deep from sleep.
“I—I—” She considered making up a reason she’d called. She could claim to have rolled over and hit redial by accident. She remembered what Sophie had said, though, about being herself. “Is this a bad time?”
“For you to call me? Never.”
She smiled at that. “I couldn’t sleep and . . .” Shaking her head, she waited for him to offer to come over. That’s what men did, at least all the men she’d ever known. They wouldn’t care what was keeping her up, they’d see it as an opportunity to comfort her—intimately.
“I couldn’t either,” he said, fitting exactly into what she’d expected him to say. “Christmas has always been my least favorite holiday, and I’m not used to remaining sober enough to experience it.”
“I’ve always hated it, too,” she said in genuine surprise.
“What’s the worst part for you?” he asked gently.
“It’s all the times people say if it lacks magic, it’s because you don’t believe enough. Is it my fault that I recognize commercial exploitation of families? If the stores could partner with religion to make Christmas a monthly holiday, they would. That’s the magic of the season, that no one has caught on to how they’re being manipulated.”
“God, you sound like me. It’s why I usually throw an anti-Christmas bash somewhere warm. It’s too depressing to watch my friends cart trees indoors, make perfectly beautiful homes gaudy with decorations, then gather with people they don’t give a shit about the rest of the year.”
Lexi hugged her comforter to her and smiled. We really
are alike. “I can’t understand why I enjoyed the Barringtons’ party.”
“Besides the fact that I was there?” he added with humor.
Lexi smiled again. “Besides that. Did you enjoy it? The party, I mean?”
He let out an audible breath. “I didn’t expect to, but I did. It felt a bit like stepping into a Norman Rockwell version of Christmas. The only imperfection I found was the absence of one of their sons. They said he was unable to come home for the holiday.”
“Andrew. He has always been a tough one to figure out.”
“They say the same about you.”
“Me? Hardly. What you see is what you get with me.”
He was silent a moment then said, “That’s what you want people to believe, anyway.”
Lexi laughed nervously. He wasn’t speaking in sexy innuendos. He sounded sincere, and it made her nervous. “You don’t know me as well as you think you do, Clay.”
“That’s easy enough to change.”
