Page 14 of Trade It All (The Barrington Billionaires 3)
Then stay the fuck away from her.
It wasn’t that simple. A person doesn’t decide to breathe. It’s not something they think about either, until they’re somehow deprived of being able to. Then it’s all that matters. Lance wasn’t ready for what Willa represented, but the idea of losing her was even worse.
“Call it whatever you want. We’ll take the ferry to Martha’s Vineyard. I’ll show you around.” Get the hell away from my family.
There was a kindness in her expression, an easy forgiveness, that had him almost retracting his invitation. “I’d like that.”
“Come on, I’ll walk you back.”
The door of Lance’s office opened and his temp secretary stuck her head in. “Mr. Barrington? I hate to disturb you, but I tried to buzz you . . .”
Lance shook off the past. “I didn’t hear it. What is it?”
“Miss Chambers is on her way up.”
Letting out a slow breath, Lance nodded. “Send her in as soon as she arrives.”
If nothing else came from their meeting that morning, Lance was determined to find out why Willa had sent Lexi in her place for their date.
Why not just say she didn’t want to see him?
Why the lies?
And if she cared so little about him that she could play him like that, why was she still upset with him?
He’d told himself the answers to those questions weren’t as important as keeping the peace in his family. She’d told him to leave her alone and he had.
He might have been able to continue to, but then she’d lied to him again. This time she’d pretended to be Lexi. And the way she’d danced for him. He’d fought for years to not think about how it had been with her, but watching her shake her ass defiantly at him had brought it all back again.
She wouldn’t leave his office until he at least knew what the hell had happened ten years ago.
Chapter Seven
Willa barely heard what Lance’s secretary was saying, but she followed her to his office door anyway. Willa’s heart was thudding loudly in her chest. She tried to tell herself she was only there to pick up the journal.
She’d been very careful to never be alone with Lance—ever. She kept her distance and did her best to forget. It was the only way she’d been able to move on. Or try to.
He opened the door to his office, and Willa’s pace faltered. If their brief history bothered him at all, it had never shown on his face. Ever since she’d told him she never wanted to talk to him again, his expression had been carefully neutral.
Worse than hating her, he’d shown indifference.
He didn’t, however, look indifferent right then. There was a hunger burning in his eyes that tugged at her old feelings for him. She didn’t want to feel anything around him, but the chemistry they’d always shared was impossible to deny.
Which means nothing.
Animals mate indiscriminately.
People have evolved past letting their genitalia make decisions for them.
Her inner self-lecture did nothing to lessen how her body hummed with anticipation as she walked toward him. He held out his hand to shake hers and she froze. She didn’t want to touch him, didn’t want their connection to deepen. She knew exactly how good it would feel.
That kind of good had almost destroyed her once. Never again.
Still, to prove to herself that she was now in control of her attraction to him, she placed her hand in his and met his eyes. “I don’t want to take up your time. If you have the journal, I’ll take it and go.”
His hold on her lingered. “Tell me, what do you think of the building?”
Honestly, Willa hadn’t noticed much about it. Her thoughts had revolved around their meeting. She based her answer on a general impression of it. “It serves its purpose, I suppose, but—”
“But? Don’t hold back on my account.” His hand tightened on hers.
She pried her hand out of his. “It lacks warmth.”
He frowned and motioned for her to follow him inside his office. She did, and he closed the door behind her. He led the way to a glass table with a pair of stark white chairs beside it. “It’s not a home, it’s a place of business.” She took one of the seats, and he sat across from her. “It has been lauded in several architectural magazines as a glimpse into the future.”
“How depressing,” Willa said without thinking, then bit her lip. She didn’t come to fight with him. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
He held her gaze intently. “What would you change about it?”
Willa lifted and dropped a shoulder. His questions were about more than the building. She knew she shouldn’t respond, but it was tempting to tell him what she thought in terms of his building. “The exterior is striking, but there isn’t anything unique about the interior. No grand foyer at its heart. Nothing that makes a person feel welcome when they enter. Nothing that would make them want to return.”
“I optimized the space available. Adding a foyer would have wasted most of the ground floor.”
“It’s only my opinion. You seem happy with your design. What I think doesn’t matter.”
Lance leaned forward. “That’s where you’re wrong. It does. It always has.”
Willa shook her head. She rejected how good his words made her feel. Even if he felt that way, it was too little too late. She wasn’t a good enough liar, even to herself, to be with him and pretend he hadn’t almost destroyed her. She didn’t want to go back to feeling the way she had after being with him. It had been a low point in her life. Others had disappointed her in the past, but that year she’d added her own name to those who had let her down. Forcing levity into her tone, she asked, “So, where is this infamous journal?”
He rested his elbows on his knees and held her eyes. “Do you realize this is the first time we’ve been alone since Nantucket? Ten years.”
Willa swallowed hard. The child in her wanted to run from the room. The woman in her wanted to prove to him he didn’t matter enough for her to run. “Has it been that long? God, we’re getting old fast.”
“You still owe me an explanation.”
The attraction she felt for him fell to the wayside and fury surged through her. She’d thought she could do it. She’d thought enough time had passed, but it hadn’t. When the Band-Aid of denial was ripped off, the wound was still fresh. She shot to her feet. “I owe you nothing.” She turned to leave but he was in front of her, blocking her exit. “Get out of my way. It was a mistake to come here.”
He grabbed one of her arms and held it painfully. “The mistake was waiting this long to talk it out. I deserve to know what happened. Why are you still angry with me? You wanted to have sex that night as much as I did. I didn’t take advantage of you.”
The room spun, and Willa gripped the back of one of the chairs to steady herself. Memories of that night were still painful as they tore through her. “You’re hurting my arm,” she said, pulling at her arm.
He relaxed his hold, but didn’t release her. “Look at me, Willa.”
She did and his expression turned tormented. She couldn’t hide her anger from him. It was no longer worth trying to deny it was there. “I thought I could do this, Lance, but I can’t.”
“Why?” his asked in a tight voice. “Was it that bad?”
The absurdity of the question made her laugh sadly. “The sex? No, the sex was fine.” Some of her fury was replaced by deep sadness. There was no way back. Explaining why wouldn’t make either of them feel better. “The past is done and gone. Let it go.”
He shook his head. “I can’t. Why did you send Lexi on the date the next day? I know I didn’t handle myself well after we—”
“Fucked?” she asked harshly, using the vulgar description to trivialize what they’d done.
Lance waved his free hand in the air. “I was twenty with more hormones than brains. But I liked you. I didn’t realize it was Lexi until it was too late.”
This time Willa did pull free. “Exactl
y, you didn’t realize it was Lexi. You even kissed her. Maybe more. Honestly, I don’t care.” Willa stepped away to leave, but Lance blocked her path again.
“Yes, I kissed her. She said she was you. She was in your fucking clothes. I was out of my mind confused already. The last thing I expected was for you to send someone else in your place. Why did you?”
Willa crossed her arms protectively across herself. Is that what he thought? That I sent her? She thought back to the hateful things he’d said to her the next time he’d seen her. He’d called her immature and had gone on and on about how wrong he’d been to think he could be with someone like her. At the time she’d thought he was referring to her declaration of love, but had the switch hurt him as well? She’d never considered that possibility. “I didn’t send her. Lexi told me you needed to do something for your father that day. I believed her.”
Lance brought a hand to his forehead. “Why would she do that?”
Blinking back tears, Willa shook with emotion. “Maybe she thought she was protecting me from you. She was suspicious that something had happened between us. Or maybe she wanted to prove she could have you too, if she wanted. I used to care about the real reason, but I don’t anymore. And asking the questions only makes it hurt more.”
“I didn’t know, Willa.”
