Page 32 of Trade It All (The Barrington Billionaires 3)
During their drive earlier, Willa had noticed his aunt’s journal sticking out the side pocket of his computer bag. She’d asked if he still wanted her to read it and he’d said, “Yes.” Although he’d gone through it, he was curious what she’d think of it. He couldn’t imagine wanting to share anything so private with a woman he was sleeping with, but Willa was also a friend.
She was on a very short list of people he trusted completely.
He watched her expression turn from sympathy to disgust as she flipped through the pages. She paused just before the torn out pages and said, “What a horrible, horrible woman.”
Lance couldn’t agree more. “I’m glad my mother moved away from her. I’ve gone to quite a few family events on her side of the family and thankfully her vileness doesn’t appear to be hereditary.”
Willa nodded. “I met several of your cousins at the auction the night Asher proposed to Emily. They seemed like very nice people.”
“Did you meet Alessandro and Victor? They’re not technically related to me, but you’d never know it. When I first met them, I thought they were loud and a little too inquisitive for my taste, but they’ve grown on me.”
Willa turned back to an earlier portion of the journal. “I think your aunt slept with Victor then married his brother.”
Lance frowned. “I don’t remember it saying that in there.”
Flipping to another section of the journal, Willa nodded slowly as she reread. “She really disliked Victor. No woman hates a man like that unless she once loved him.”
Lance tensed. He opened his mouth to ask, then shut it with a snap. Willa had said she’d once loved him. He didn’t want to imagine her ever feeling that way toward him.
As if she’d heard his thoughts, Willa’s eyes flew up to his. “I never hated you. I wanted to. I told myself I did, but I didn’t.” She ran a hand over the open pages of the journal. “Not like this. Your aunt was sick.”
“I’m—”
“What do you think all the numbers mean?” Willa cut off his apology with her question.
He took hold of one side of the book so they were both holding it above them. “Some are phone numbers. The country code is for Aruba.”
“Which is where your parents were when Kenzi and Kent were born?”
“Yes.”
Willa shuddered against him. “The torn-out pages really bother me. She filled the rest of the book with hateful, awful thoughts. Doesn’t it make you wonder what she could have written that she considered bad enough to tear out?”
“Enough that I called a couple of the phone numbers. They were either disconnected or belonged to people who’d never heard of my aunt. I felt like an idiot afterward. I don’t know what I expected to uncover. I’d ask my parents about it, but you know how well that would go.”
“Can I see the journal again?” Willa flipped to the part of the journal where the pages were torn out. She read the section after it. “Isn’t it strange that she’s obsessed with your mother and the twins she was carrying right up until the missing pages. Then she doesn’t mention either again. In fact, it’s almost a year before she writes anything in the journal again. It’s creepy.” She looked back up at Lance.
Lance took the journal and weighed it in his hand. “Do you remember the woman who came to my office and pretended to be my secretary?”
“Yes.”
“She said she was disappointed in my family’s lack of curiosity.”
“That’s an odd thing to say.”
“She implied there were scandalous secrets in this book. I read it. I can’t say I learned much more than that my aunt was troubled.”
“That’s a kind way of saying it.”
“Part of me wants to go to Aruba and see if any of these other numbers mean anything. Do you think that’s crazy?”
“I don’t think it’s crazy at all.”
“You know how much it would upset my family if they found out.”
“Maybe it’s time to stop worrying about what they need and do something for yourself.”
Lance inhaled deeply. Those same words, said by anyone else, might have sounded harsh, but they were a gentle prod from Willa. And a welcome one. “You’re right. I don’t like secrets. I prefer to deal with facts. You can’t make a decision based on half the information.”
Willa laid her head back on Lance’s shoulder. “So, you’d want to know something, even if it was unpleasant and had happened a long time ago?”
He kissed her forehead and cursed himself for bringing a somber expression to her eyes. Theirs was supposed to be a passionate weekend away. He closed his eyes and hugged her to him. “It’s too beautiful of a day to discuss this.”
She sighed and relaxed against him. Having her tucked against him felt good. So damn good it was easy to forget everything beyond the feel of her skin against his, the soft tickle of her breath across his chest. He’d never let women sleep over at his place, but he didn’t look forward to leaving Willa at her apartment when they returned to Boston. Nothing had prepared him for how good simply being with her would be.
Holy shit, she was fucking phenomenal. But that in itself was unsettling. Being with her felt like he’d just discovered his newest sports car had no brakes.
The ride was a rush, but could it end in anything but a crash?
It can if I do things differently this time.
Better.
I need to stop letting my dick make all the decisions. I wanted to take it slowly with her this time.
That plan failed.
But things are still good.
He caressed her arm absently. His thoughts wandered from the heated images of how they’d enjoyed the shower that morning to how much he’d enjoyed walking around Provincetown with her. Maybe this is where we need to be for a while. Simply enjoying each other. We’ll figure everything else out when we come down from this high.
There’s a solid plan B.
“Lance?”
“Hmm?” he answered lazily, simply enjoying the way she said his name.
“Today was wonderful.”
He turned onto his side so he was face to face with her. She looked happy and well loved. He soaked in that image of her, thinking he’d never seen her more beautiful. “I agree. I hate to go back.”
Her expression turned serious, and she tucked an arm beneath her head. “There’s something I need to tell you before we go.”
He gently tucked a loose curl behind her ear. “I’m listening.”
She closed her eyes briefly as if gathering her strength, opened them again, and said, “I’ve held it in for so long, but I finally feel like I can say it. You’ve given me the strength to. There was a reason I took what happened between us so hard. It’s why I stayed angry long past when I should have been over it. I was—” She swallowed visibly. “I was—”
He was about to reassure her that she could tell him anything when his phone rang. He ignored it, but it kept ringing. He swore and sent the call to voicemail before dropping the phone on the grass below the hammock. When he looked back at Willa, the hopeful expression on her face reminded him of the morning after they’d had sex all those years ago. Shit. He knew that expression.
He thought he would have more time, but there it was.
Love.
Everything had gone to shit when she’d said, “I love you,” the first time.
If she says it now, she’ll expect me to say it back. And I can’t. Not yet. Not if I’m honest.
I have to stop her.
Those three words were a death blow to early relationships. He’d seen it before with women who’d fallen for him. Even with Willa herself. There was no nice way to say, “I wish I felt the same.”
There was also no coming back from being honest in that moment.
I won’t lie to her.
It wasn’t that he didn’t care about Willa. He did. But love. Holy shit. Love?
He swung out of the hammock and only saved himself from falling flat on his fac
e at the last minute. He picked up his phone and made a show of checking who the message was from. “I’m sorry, Willa, but this is important.”
“Okay,” she said, sitting up, surprised and a little disappointed.
