Does her refusal include what had been on the menu after the restaurant? If so, it’s for the best. I already want to toss her over my shoulder and haul her back to London with me like some bounty I’ve claimed as my own. I thought seeing her again would lessen the fascination I have with her. That plan failed. If I fuck her, I don’t know if I can walk away.
I’d stay the night. Clay was right—seeing her was a bad idea.
She doesn’t need a man like me.
She needs someone who’d protect her, cherish her.
A battle raged within him for a good part of the drive back to her apartment. During the drive, she turned away from him and looked as if she wanted to be anywhere but beside him. He couldn’t blame her. He’d taken many women to dinner, more than he cared to admit, and he couldn’t remember any of those evenings ending on the strained note this one had.
He reached out and took her hand in his, saying words that weren’t normally in his vocabulary. “I’m sorry.” Sorry I can’t be the man you need.
Her eyes flew to his, and she gave him a sad smile. “No, I’m sorry. I haven’t been myself lately. You came all this way to take me out. I don’t know how I was when I was drunk, but I’m sure you’re disappointed with the reality of who I am.”
She believes that.
He pulled her against his chest and gave her the hug she looked as if she needed. She settled against him with a heartfelt sigh. The desire to kiss her lost against the decision he’d made. Even if it meant not having her, he would never hurt her. She was worth more than a one-night stand. “Disappointed is far from how I’m feeling.”
She turned her head so she could see his face. He could tell she wanted to ask him what he was feeling, but she didn’t. She just kept looking at him with those big eyes of hers that somehow made his heart beat double time.
His gaze fell to her lips, but he pulled them back to her eyes. “I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone as much as I want to kiss you right now. I want to haul you onto my lap and take you right here, right now, and lose myself in you. I don’t care who sees. I want to wrap those gorgeous legs around my ass and fuck you until neither of us can remember our names.”
Her hand fisted. “But? But what? What kind of sick game are you playing?”
He released her. “I’m not playing, but you’re right, I’m not staying.”
Desire and disappointment burned in her eyes. She crossed her arms in front of her, an act that widened the cleavage of her dress—a fact he would have told her if the view weren’t so tantalizing.
The car pulled up to the front of her apartment, and the driver discretely allowed Dax the privacy of opening the door himself and helping Kenzi out. They stood on the darkened sidewalk staring at each other until Kenzi said, “Well, thank you for dinner.”
Dax was tempted to say, “You mean thanks for being the reason you couldn’t eat your favorite meal?” but didn’t. He mirrored her polite tone instead. “Thank you for going out with me.”
Kenzi took out her key and turned away then turned back and glared at him. She wanted to say something to him; that much was obvious.
Her frustration with him mirrored his own. The idea brought a wry smile to his face. “Good night, Kenzi.”
She shook her head. “That’s it? If this is how you are I can see why a second date isn’t necessary.”
His eyes narrowed and his smile left. I’m being fucking nice for once, and she’s goading me. Why?
She waved a hand in his direction. “I should have known you were all talk.”
He didn’t like what he assumed was her motivation. He closed the distance between them and pulled her against him, against his swollen cock. “What are you testing? Do you think if you push me I’ll take what I want? I won’t. Some things should never be stolen and kisses are one of them. It’s not that I don’t want you, I do, but you’re better than this. If I took what you’re offering, I’d hate myself for it. And I have a feeling you’d hate me, too. Whoever hurt you, Kenzi, made you feel like you’re not in control of what happens to you. You think you don’t deserve to be treated well. You do and you always should be. Stop trying to get me to hurt you. I won’t.”
“No one—” Kenzi stopped herself from saying more. Tears filled her eyes. “Please leave now.”
He let her go. “Kenzi—”
She turned away. “I’m fine.”
They both knew she was lying, but this time he didn’t call her on it. He let her walk away and told himself the night had ended the only way it could have. He stayed until she was safely in her building, until after he’d spoken to her bodyguard and knew she was being watched over. Only then did he force himself to leave.
Chapter Six
Kenzi wasn’t really proud of herself for avoiding her phone for the next two days, even when Lexi and Willa called. She didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially if it involved trying to explain a date she had rehashed in her head about a hundred times and still couldn’t figure out.
She’d spent so many hours thinking about what Dax had said. Had she really wanted to push him into losing control? Why would she want him to become just another man she slept with?
Because then he wouldn’t matter?
And what did it mean that he’d refused her?
She remembered the evidence of his desire pressing against her. He said he was predisposed to being an asshole, but when she’d needed him to be he’d been gentle and supportive.
If he’s attracted to me, why did he leave without even kissing me?
Because I’m worth more than the one night he offered?
Was that a compliment—or bullshit to end a date that had gone south?
The intercom on the wall near her door buzzed. Kenzi looked at the clock on the wall then at her flowered pajamas and groaned. Which one of her brothers had been given the assignment of bringing her back to the fold? She trudged over and hit the button and said, “Please tell Mom and Dad you couldn’t find me.”
“Open the door, Kenzi,” her father said in a tone that reminded her of how he used to talk to her when she was much younger.
Kenzi laid her forehead against the wall above the intercom and closed her eyes. Shit. “Dad, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t handle Mom today.”
There was a heavy moment of silence, then he said, “She’s beside me.”
Double shit.
Resigning herself to the drama about to unfold, Kenzi pressed the button to open the door below. She sent Parker a quick text to inform him they were on their way up. She fixed her hair the best she could then practiced a bright smile in the mirror. She was still smiling when the elevator opened and her parents exited.
Sophie rushed forward, “Are you unwell, Kenzi? You should have called us. Dale, doesn’t she look pale?” She put her hand on Kenzi’s forehead. “You don’t have a fever.”
Kenzi backed away and led them into her apartment. “I’m fine, Mom.”
“You don’t look fine,” Sophie said in a worried voice. “We’ve been calling all day.” She lowered her voice. “Is it a female issue you don’t want to discuss in front of your father?”
Kenzi sat on the couch instead of answering. She pulled her legs up in front of her and hugged them. “No, Mom. It’s not that.”
“Dale, it’s the afternoon and she’s still in her pajamas. Something is obviously wrong.”
Her father sat across from Kenzi, his face creased with concern. “Kenzi, whatever it is, you need to snap out of it. You’re upsetting your mother—”
Kenzi couldn’t keep a defensive edge out of her voice. “For once, could this not be about Mom?”
Sophie gasped and sat beside Dale.
Dale put his hand on his wife’s leg in support and said in a stern voice, “Kenzi—”
Kenzi closed her eyes and shook her head. She felt cornered. Normally she would have kept calm, kept her thoughts to herself, but everything building inside her lately came to a head at that moment. Her eyes flew open and she snapped,
“I don’t want my birthday to be in March anymore. My birthday is in April. Fucking April.”
Sophie’s eyes rounded. “Did you take a pill? Are you on something?”
