“You don’t mean that, Kenzi. You want what your parents have, and if I couldn’t give that to you, you’d end up hating me.”
“Don’t tell me how I will or won’t feel. I can’t see into the future, so I don’t know who I’ll be five or ten years from now. Maybe I will feel differently about marriage and children then. All I care about is how I feel today. I don’t regret one moment I spent with you. Not one. Do you remember the note you wrote with the music you gave me? You told me that I was stronger than whatever I was facing. You were right. I am strong. I didn’t fall apart when you didn’t call. I’ve been working on me and getting myself into a better place. If we don’t work out, it’ll hurt, Dax. It’ll hurt like hell. But I’ll survive. I know that now, and you’re part of the reason I do. So don’t tell me I’ll hate you, because that is one thing I know will never happen.”
Dax waved to his driver who was watching him from where his car was parked across the street. “If I fly out now I can be at your place before morning.”
“I’ll wait up.”
“No, you should rest. I’ll have a six-hour flight to think about nothing but you and all the ways I can show you how much I’ve missed you.”
Kenzi laughed the way she did when she was turned on. He’d never heard a sweeter sound. “I’ll try to sleep, but I have a feeling I’ll be awake imagining all the same things.”
Dax’s car pulled up, and he told Kenzi he’d text her when he landed. He knew he had a big, stupid grin on his face, but he didn’t care. Kenzi loved him and for the first time the idea didn’t terrify him.
Clay came out of the restaurant just as Dax was stepping into his car. “Is everything okay?”
Dax nodded. “I’m flying back to Boston tonight. I don’t know when I’ll be back.”
Clay smiled and saluted him. “I’ll start working on my speech.”
Dax didn’t correct his assumption. He could explain everything to him later. All that mattered right then was getting on a plane and getting back to Kenzi.
Chapter Eighteen
Waiting for Dax to arrive was torture, but it was followed by indescribable pleasure when he finally walked through Kenzi’s door. She threw herself in his arms and kissed him with every bit of love she’d been holding back.
There was no time for talking; that would come later. Kenzi tore at his clothes while he tore at hers. His mouth claimed hers deeply, completely. They’d barely closed the door before they were mostly naked and Kenzi was straddling Dax’s waist, her back against the wall while he kissed her feverishly.
Every touch felt better than the last as Kenzi gave herself over to the passion. She dug her hands into his hair and kissed him wildly as his hands removed the last of their clothing.
His mouth moved to her neck then her breasts. He held her easily against him and kissed his way down the valley between them. He was taking his time, teasing her, making sure she was ready for him, but Kenzi didn’t want to go slowly. She wanted him inside her—now.
He paused to sheathe his cock and murmured how much he missed her. She whispered something back, but she was beyond caring about words. His cock nudged at her sex for entry, and she begged Dax to take her then.
He lost all control at that and pounded upward into her. Kenzi used what leverage she could to move up and down with him then gave herself over to the power of his claiming. With Dax there was no shame, no fear that he would hurt her. There was only the joy of his body intimately joining with hers. She trusted him completely, and that freed her to enjoy him in a way she’d never found with another man.
She came a few seconds before he did and they stayed still against the wall, still connected, trying to catch their breath.
“Fuck, Kenzi, I meant to go slowly.”
Kenzi clenched her inner muscles around him and cupped his face with her hands. “Are you kidding? That was perfect.”
“You’re perfect.” He smiled and kissed her. It was a different sort of kiss, an I’ve-missed-your-friendship caress that was just as powerful as the earlier kisses but in an entirely different way. Passion, Kenzi knew, couldn’t be relied on to stay, but this—this would endure.
He put her down gently and cleaned himself off then picked her up and carried her to her bed.
The second time they made love brought Kenzi to tears. Dax was so gentle, so concerned with her pleasure, she knew she’d made the right choice to take him as he was. She was more than ready when she straddled his thick, hard cock. She eased herself down onto him, taking him deeply inside her then began to move her hips up and down. She had loved it earlier when he’d taken her against the wall, and she loved how he now gave her control. She whispered orders to him. “Kiss my neck. Lick me here.” All the while she kept a steady rhythm that brought her body closer and closer to another climax. It was a slow pleasure, an enjoyment of how their bodies connected. Dax sat up and moved with her, matching her rhythm. When they finally did come, she was wrapped around Dax with her feet behind him, and it was a total, full-body experience that left him shaken while she clung to him. He adjusted their position so he could drop onto his back, and Kenzi collapsed on him.
Kenzi joked, “I may never be able to move again.”
“You? Remember I’m older than you.”
Kenzi kissed his chest. “I have no complaints.”
“Thank God,” he said and kissed her on the lips gently.
They lay there, holding each other for a long time. Eventually, Kenzi asked, “Did you even bring any luggage?”
“No, I went straight from the restaurant to my plane. I’ll have someone drop off some clothes later. They’re getting used to bringing my things here.”
Kenzi was tempted to say he could bring as much stuff as he wanted, but she didn’t want him to think she was pressuring him. Dax was in her life again. As her mother had said, everything else would sort itself out.
Kenzi ran her hand along the strong muscles of his neck. “I know that you offered to help Dean.”
He stopped her hand with his and brought it to his mouth for a kiss. “I didn’t do it to get you back into my bed, Kenzi.”
“Technically, this is my bed, but I know that, Dax. You did it because of what Dean did for me.”
“Yes. I knew you felt that you owed him something, and I felt as if I did, too.”
Tears filled Kenzi’s eyes. “That is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me.”
Dax looked uncomfortable with her praise, but then he smiled. “If you stick with me, Kenzi, you will come across many people who see me the way your family does. I never cared what anyone thought of me until you.”
“My family encouraged me to call you. They’ll come around.”
Dax hugged Kenzi to his chest. “I don’t care if they do as long as I never give you a reason to look at me the way they did.”
Kenzi snuggled against Dax. Her heart was overflowing with love for him. She tempered it, though. She remembered feeling that if people knew the real her they wouldn’t love her. Was that how Dax felt? If so, he had a lot to learn about love, and she wanted to be the one to teach him.
Dax held Kenzi through the night. While she dozed he spent hours thinking about the differences between them, but also how they were the same. Kenzi refused to give up on him. She’d chosen her course and was sticking to it even if he couldn’t say the words she wanted to hear.
In some ways, Kenzi was stronger than he was. It wasn’t something he would acknowledge out loud, but he knew it in his heart. She had faced her fears and won, and she hadn’t let that battle rob her of who she was.
Dax thought about who he might have been if his father had lived, or if he’d ever known his mother. Life had challenged him again and again, and he had sold his soul to stay on top.
Kenzi hadn’t. Somehow she’d remained a good person.
He kissed her forehead as she slept. He was at a crossroads, and he knew it. If he walked away from Kenzi again, he knew who he would be for the rest of his li
fe. What he didn’t know, though, was who he would be if he stayed.
He whispered, “I want to love you, Kenzi. Show me how.” Kenzi moved against him as if she’d heard him, but she didn’t wake.
Taffy padded into the room and whined to be let up on the bed. Dax dropped a pillow beside the bed and said, “You can stay in here, but you’re not coming on the bed.” Taffy whined again, and Dax petted her head while she settled onto the pillow. He glanced down at her, and she gave him eyes that were so pitiful he laughed. “That doesn’t work with me. Dogs belong outside, you’re lucky to be in here at all.”
Taffy moved her head lovingly against his hand, and he felt the rough skin that circled her neck. He thought about what she must have gone through and how much joy she brought Kenzi and kept petting her head absently. “You’re a good dog, Taffy.”
Taffy whined softly.
“But you’re still not sleeping on this bed.”
