“Why did you need them, Kenzi? What happened?”
“It shouldn’t affect me anymore. It was thirteen years ago.”
Dax’s hand clenched on the phone. “I’m coming over.”
“No. I couldn’t say this to your face.”
Dax forced himself to stay seated. “Okay.”
“I was stupid, Dax. I snuck out to a party I shouldn’t have. Dean warned me to stay away from the guy, but I thought I was a better judge of people.”
“What guy?”
“I can’t say, Dax. I don’t ever want to say or hear his name. Can you understand that?”
“Yes.” Although that won’t save him. Nothing will stop me from finding him.
After a quiet moment, Kenzi continued, “I chose to leave the party with him. I chose to drink the alcohol he gave me. What happened was my fault, I know that, but it wasn’t right.”
“What did he do?” Because pain will soon be coming his way.
She let out an emotional breath. “Exactly what you think. I tried to say no, but nothing I said mattered. When it was over he dropped me back at the party like it hadn’t happened. But it had. The next day Dean beat the guy so badly he almost killed him. I don’t know how he found out because no one else ever did. Suddenly the police were asking questions about Dean. I was scared. Scared of how my mother would react. Scared of what people would think of me. I just kept quiet, and the longer I kept quiet the more I couldn’t say anything. I eventually tried to tell my parents, but I didn’t get past the part where I’d snuck away to the party. They were already so angry that the truth didn’t matter. They believed Dean was a bad influence on me and sent me to a boarding school.”
“Kenzi, what that bastard did was not your fault.”
“Maybe not, but everything since has been. I should have stood up for Dean instead of getting him in trouble for defending me. I’m not the perfect daughter my parents think they raised. I’m not the innocent I pretend to be. I went into a bad place for a while when I first went away. I did drugs. I went from one bad relationship to another. I tried everything to wipe it away, to look myself in the mirror and not be ashamed of who I was. But nothing wipes it away. I thought I could put it behind me, just pretend none of it ever happened. It worked for a while, but lately I can’t get it out of my head. I’m twenty-eight years old, and I am not the person I thought I would be. Do you know what I do with my time? Nothing. Do you know what I care about? Nothing. I’m going to turn thirty before I know it, and I haven’t done a single thing that matters. All I’ve done is lie to myself and others. I don’t want to live like that anymore, but I don’t know what to do next.”
I hope that bastard is still alive because I’m going to kill him.
Kenzi let out a half-laugh, half-sob. “I told you I’m a mess. My brothers do whatever the hell they want. They took what happened to us and they used it as motivation to succeed in the business world. Me? I shut down instead. I waste my time dreaming about how I wish things were. Do you know why I love islands? I listen to the sound of the waves, and I imagine what my life would have been like if my brother had lived, how everything might have been different. I have this reoccurring fantasy of us all being together and happy. I know it can’t happen, but when I go to an island I feel closer to a brother I never met. So that’s it, that’s how I’ve been doing. Not too well.” She blew her nose again. She was silent for a few minutes then said, “Thank you for letting me finally say this to someone.”
“Shit, Kenzi.” There was so much he wanted to say that he couldn’t find the words to articulate. “Is this what you told your parents?”
She laughed without humor. “Thankfully, no. It was bad enough when I told them I hate never celebrating my birthday because it would upset my mother. I may have mentioned how I don’t like game night and that I was sick of pretending to be happy when I’m not. It was enough to send my mother running and earn me a lecture from my father. They can’t handle the truth.” She sighed. “I completely understand if you never want to hear from me again, but you don’t know how good it felt to finally say it out loud.”
Dax rubbed a hand harshly across his face. “Where are you?”
“My apartment,” she answered tentatively.
“I’ll be there in thirty minutes.”
“No. Wait,” she said in a rush. “You can’t come here.”
Dax stood. “Give me a good reason why I can’t.”
“After everything I said . . .”
“Wear comfortable shoes. It’s beautiful outside. I’m taking you for a walk in the sunshine.”
“Please don’t feel that you have to—”
Dax was already texting his driver to meet him downstairs. “Kenzi, I don’t do a damn thing I don’t want to do. I need some fresh air and you do, too. Unless you don’t want to see me. If not, say it now.”
Kenzi made a soft sound that might have been from crying again. “I’ll be ready when you get here.”
Before he hung up, Dax said, “Kenzi, you are a beautiful woman—inside and out. Knowing what that bastard did doesn’t change how I feel. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”
“Yes,” she said as if she wasn’t sure it was really happening.
Dax shot off an email to his team telling them to hold off on his earlier instructions then strode out of his office and made it out of the building in record time. On the drive to her apartment he admitted to himself that he hadn’t been honest with her. What she’d said had shaken him. He kept his distance from people. He told himself they were all replaceable.
But Kenzi.
Well, she’d just found a way into his heart.
And he had a feeling nothing would ever be the same.
Chapter Seven
Kenzi rushed through showering, doing her hair, and applying makeup. She briefly hesitated while choosing what to wear then decided on simple slacks and a blouse. Dax wasn’t on his way over to take her on their second date. He was checking in on her because she’d called him like a support hotline.
She gave herself one last look in the mirror. Her eyes were red from crying¸ but there was a spark of hope in them that hadn’t been there for a long time. I told him. I told him everything. And he didn’t run from me. He didn’t shatter beneath the weight of it.
Her eyes misted up, but she dabbed the tears away before they could ruin her makeup. Reality, I know you have to come crashing in soon, but please don’t let it be today. Let me have one day where I am with someone who sees the real me and still thinks I’m not broken.
She waited on the outside steps of her apartment building. Dax was right, being in the sunshine was just what she needed. She took several deep breaths. It was hard not to run to meet him when his car pulled up. She stayed where she was, though, and waited.
The look in his eyes when he saw her almost had her crying again. She felt beautiful when he smiled at her that way. He stopped just before the bottom step and held his hand out to her. “Ready?”
She descended the stairs to join him. “You came.”
He looked down at her with the oddest expression on his face. “Did you think I wouldn’t?”
She searched his face. “I wouldn’t have blamed you if you hadn’t.”
He cupped her face. “Kenzi, I will always come when you need me. Always.” He turned, tucked her hand in his arm and drew her forward to walk with him down the busy sidewalk. It was a hefty promise from a man who hardly knew her, but Kenzi believed him. “Now, show me why you chose this neighborhood. Does it have anything to do with the bike path a block away?”
Kenzi smiled. He didn’t feel like someone she’d just met. Their connection felt more real than anything she’d felt in a long time. “Yes. It runs along the river, and I love going there. It’s peaceful but also always full of young people exercising or walking their dogs.”
He guided her along. “I’ve never liked dogs.”
She gave him a sidelong look. He was keeping to safe topics as if he knew she
was still shaken from their earlier conversation. “Really? Why not?”
He shook his head. “They’re messy and annoying. I don’t see why people take animals that belong outside, bring them inside, then wonder why they destroy everything.”
Did he honestly believe that? How sad. Then a thought came to her. “You’ve never had one.”
“No.”
