Page 27 of The Perfect Blend
"Thank you for that, you didn't have to,” I said.
"Anytime, Robin,” he said, with a smile that righted my previously ruined morning.
Just then, Lucy came hurrying out with my eggs benedict.
"Oh my gosh, Robin, was that your scumbag ex?" she said breathlessly. "Good job your boyfriend was here or I would have had to come out and smack him with a frying pan.”
I laughed as I accepted my plate.
"A pair of heroes, the two of you. Zach, would you like anything for breakfast for your heroism?"
He chuckled, "That eggs benedict looks fantastic. I'll have one of those, please. And an orange juice."
Lucy nodded and disappeared back inside.
"So," Zach started, refocusing his piercing blue eyes on me. "Scumbag ex, eh?"
I looked away and grimaced.
"Yeah. I haven't seen him since I broke up with him a year ago, though he messages me sometimes, mostly when he’s drunk, from new numbers. I can't believe the nerve of him, trying it on with me like that. He's absolutely deluded." I could feel my cheeks burn with unresolved anger and embarrassment.
Lucy came back out and deposited the orange juice and eggs, getting a thanks from Zach before heading back in.
I nodded at the food. "Let's not let good food go cold. I love the eggs benedict they make here."
We tucked in and it was quiet for a moment. Perhaps it should have been an awkward silence, given what had just happened, but it just felt companionable. After the horrible reunion with Pete, it felt safe and normal.
"Everybody loved Pete, at first," I said. It felt important for him to understand this part of me. It was very personal to me, but since all my close friends knew this already, I didn’t feel I was crossing the line on our no-romance-before-the-market agreement. "I had dated some guys in the past who were obvious idiots, and by comparison Pete looked like a safe bet. Charming, a grafter, nice to the family. The nasty side of him was always there, I just never wanted to see it. Or I always believed him when he said it was my fault he was upset. It took me realising he'd been committing finance fraud, using credit cards in my name, to finally shake myself free.” I let out a small laugh and forced myself not to avoid Zach’s eyes. This past year I’d been trying to work on processing the shame I felt, and overcoming it, but it was hard work. “Pete was the sum of all the idiotic men I've ever dated, all the poor decisions I've made and I've never forgotten it, it’s hard to move past. I couldn't care less about him now, you see, it's just thathereminds me so wholly how fallible and stupid I can be. I want to be past all that now."
"You feel ashamed,” said Zach. It wasn’t a question, and his voice held a note of understanding and empathy.
"Yes. That's exactly it,” I said, surprised.
"I can't say I've been in exactly the same situation, but I've had similar feelings.” He looked troubled, but resolved, and paused to take a breath. “An ex of mine, I thought she could do no wrong when we were dating. I ignored my friends and family, as one by one she isolated me from them with her accusations and jealousy. By the time I came to my senses, I'd damaged my relationships with some of the people who loved me the most, and that's something I've always felt ashamed of no matter how much people tell me I shouldn't be."
My eyes found his, and at the moment I felt seen and understood. No, our circumstances were not the same, but there was a connection and an understanding of how it felt to be in that position. My friends had been lovely, and my family showed love in their own way, but I had never felt like any of them had actually understood. Tears gathered in my eyes and I blinked them away, taking a sip of my tea.
"I understand," I said. "Thank you for sharing that with me."
I didn’t want to dwell on our exes any longer though. This may not have been planned, but suddenly Zach and I were having breakfast together. I wanted to enjoy this unexpected it’s-not-a-date-but-it-kind-of-is-a-date date, so I nodded towards his orange juice.
"Still not on board with coffee, I see."
"Sadly not."
"Why don't you come back to the shop with me. I'll put these lovely flowers in some water, and then I'd love to walk you through my coffee matching experience. If you'd like."
"I would. No promises on liking the coffee though!"
I smiled, "We'll see."
He insisted on paying, as if saving me from Pete and buying me flowers wasn’t enough. While he was inside paying, his phone buzzed from where he had left it on the table.
I glanced down. A message notification appeared, and my eyes read it without conscious effort.
Message from Sophia - So are you getting me a present? :) You said…
The message had reached its character limit, but what I read put a chill of deja vu through me. Who was Sophia, and why would Zach be getting her a present?
