Page 12 of The Perfect Blend
He cleared his throat and looked out past me, down the dark street. “It felt like it wasn’t only my family which had rejected me, but like this whole place had told me I wasn’t welcome.” He swallowed and moved his focus back to my eyes. This felt like an intimate confession of a lot of things that clearly still affected him; I wasn’t sure how to respond.
“I was angry, and I included you in that anger because you got to stay here and have everything I wanted, while I had to go back to allthat.”
He didn’t have to elaborate. From what I understood when we were younger, living with his mum hadn’t been a walk in the park. I was really surprised though that Mr and Mrs Spencer had made him so unwelcome.
“Years later, when I put a few pieces together and figured out what I’d thought was going on all along wasn’t the whole truth, it all felt too late to do anything about it. I was too ashamed of myself to make things right with you. I didn’t want to bother you all these years later,” he laughed, and it was a self deprecating, humourless one. “I did look you up from time to time, and I was really glad you seemed to be doing well - on social media at least.”
My body flooded with emotions I thought I had got over, and I didn't know what to do with myself. It felt like young Robin, who'd cried herself to sleep over a boy who left her and never looked back, was finally getting some closure. And at the same time, the image of Zach I had held as just some callous boy, an image that had tainted all of my happy memories with Zach, melted away and I just felt sorry for the both of us.
"I never knew any of that, you know. I… I don't know what to say." I said, embarrassed to hear my voice break slightly on the last word. This was silly, to be so emotional over something that was such a long time ago. But looking into his earnest blue eyes made it feel not so silly after all. It felt intimate. I felt seen.
"That's alright." He said. "I know it's a lot. Let's get the rest of these lights up."
He started to turn away, but my hand reached out and stopped him. I caught his eye.
“Thank you for being so honest with me. It’s been more than a few years, but I’m glad to see you doing well, and I’m happy you came back.” It was my turn to feel awkward laying out personal truths. We existed in a strange pocket of reality, where we were both strangers and friends, people with history but no real understanding of who the other was anymore, or who we were to each other today.
“I may have been upset with you when I was younger, but I don’t hold any ill will toward you for any of that. If you’re sticking around up here, it would be great to get to know you all over again.”
His eyes crinkled as he smiled and I felt the weight of the past lift off with the breeze, carried away into the night. “Thanks Robin. Let’s do that.”
I nodded and my gaze slipped from his, as we set about hanging the rest of the lights.
“Oh,” he said, looking down at me from halfway up the ladders, “and I’m definitely sticking around. Hopefully, for good this time.”
My heart skipped a beat as he smiled down at me, and I returned his smile in full. Zach turned and continued up the ladders, and my heart rate settled back to its normal rhythm. Maybe it should have felt awkward, or embarrassing, but as we finished the light display - me feeding Zach lines of lights and him tacking them up - it felt even more comfortable, more natural than before. It felt like we were just picking back up from exactly where we had left off, just as slightly older if not wiser, versions of ourselves.
“How come you’re back, anyway?” I asked, untangling a small section of lights.
He huffed out a short laugh. “It’s unbelievable, actually. A while back, I got a summons. They had tracked me down as an involved party in the will. After Selene realised the rift between us was almost all down to my mother, she’d reached out to Uncle Jim and Aunty Dot. But I mean, while we stayed in contact a little over the years, it was a shock, to say the least, to find out that Uncle Jim had left me the farm. There were some issues in probate, but finally the farm passed to me. It was a dream come true.”
I paused in my untangling to look up at him. Mr Spencer had always doted on Zach and his sister, his great niece and nephew, but it was still a little surprising. “You mean he never told you he was leaving the farm to you?”
Zach shook his head. “We’d spoken about farming and he was enthusiastic about my work with the co-operative and the local farms, but he never spoke about leaving the farm to me. My sister wasn’t at all surprised, though.”
“Why not?”
He laughed. “You know about old farmers and being overly traditional, the oldest boy gets the farm and all that. She said it was obvious from the start, Uncle Jim might not have been my actual grandfather, but to him, I was his male heir.”
I let out a soft snort at that. It tracked. Passing down the farm was a big traditional thing which had upset quite a few families in the past. “She wasn’t upset that she didn’t get a look in? Or your mum?”
“Nah, Sel wouldn’t be keen on coming back up to take care of the farm. She said she’d made her own path and didn’t need a haunted old place to take care of. Mum, on the other hand, is outraged and feels hard-done by. She never wants to step foot on the farm again yet somehow feels she’s owed an inheritance. If she had her way, the place would be sold and she’d get the money.” His voice took on a slight edge.
“Ah, I’m sorry Zach, it must be rough navigating that.”
“Not like it’s anything new from her,” he said with a sigh. But then he laughed and shook off the slightly grim mood that had hung over him seconds prior.
“Oh, don’t feel sorry for me! I’m living my childhood dream over here. Well worth the family drama.”
I smiled. “Hey, you’re living my dream too! I always used to think about how nice it would be to live up there and run the farm whenever my mum and I used to go over there to visit Mr. and Mrs. Spencer. You best take good care of that place!” I passed the untangled lights to him and our fingers brushed as he took them from me.
“I’ll do my very best,” he said softly, and I could feel the sincerity of his promise in every word
Chapter Six
Soon the job was done. Robin’s Roost looked just as festive as the rest of the street, who had been nice and organised, putting their lights up way before tomorrow’s official deadline.
"That looks fantastic," I said. "Thank you so much Zach."
