Page 56 of Make Me Learn
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing thoughts. "Eva, you can't just drop that bombshell and act like it's no big deal. How the hell did you...?"
She raised her hand, cutting me off. "Look, I'm sorry for blurting it out like that. I didn't mean to upset you. But I've noticed something's going on between you and the professors for a while now. Those flirty looks you give them are hard to miss. But hey, maybe it's just because I pay more attention to you since we're friends. Doubt anyone else even noticed."
Embarrassment mixed with relief washed over me. Eva's words confirmed my suspicions and reassured me that I wasn't going crazy. Still, I felt exposed, vulnerable with this newfound knowledge.
"Are you pissed at me?" she asked, her voice softer now.
I shook my head, trying to gather my thoughts. "Nah, not mad. Just... overwhelmed. This whole situation has spiraled out of control, and I don't know what the fuck to do anymore. I think I'm falling in love with them."
Eva's eyes widened, surprise and concern written all over her face. She reached out and gently held my hand, offering a comforting presence in the midst of my emotional chaos.
"Ame, love is a messy thing," she said softly, her voice filled with understanding. "It's complicated, unpredictable. Doesn't always make sense, and doesn't give a damn about the rules. Trust me, I know. Have you thought about how this could fuck up your academic and personal life?"
I nodded, a knot forming in my stomach. "Yeah, I have. I know it's risky, and there could be consequences. But I can't deny these feelings any longer. It's eating me alive, Eva. Every time I see them, every interaction we have, it's like a goddamn rollercoaster of emotions."
She squeezed my hand, giving me reassurance. "I get it, and I won't judge you for what you feel. But remember, Ame, you have to put yourself and your well-being first."
Tears welled up in my eyes, a combination of frustration and longing. "I don't know what to do. I feel like by even loving them I’m putting them at risk. It's tearing me apart."
Eva pulled me into a comforting embrace, holding me tightly. "Honestly, I think I’m the only one who even noticed. Take your time, Ame. Think about what you really want and what's best for you. And remember, I've got your back no matter what."
Her words brought me a glimmer of comfort, reminding me that I didn't have to face this alone. In that storage room, wrapped in each other's arms, I knew I had a friend who genuinely cared.
At that moment, I realized the importance of having someone like Eva by my side. She was a constant source of support and understanding, offering a safe space for me to confide in and seek guidance. I took a deep breath, allowing her words to sink in and provide a sense of clarity amidst the chaos of my emotions.
"Thanks, Eva," I whispered, filled with gratitude. "I don't know what I'd do without you. Your friendship means the fucking world."
Eva gently pulled away, her eyes full of compassion. "Ame, you mean the world to me too. I think maybe you need to talk to them. But whatever you decide, I want you to be happy and safe. "
Nodding, I wiped away the tears that had escaped and took a moment to collect myself. Eva was right—I needed to reflect on my feelings and make a decision that would ultimately bring me the most peace.
As we left the storage room and made our way out of the building, I knew that I potentially had to confess my feelings to them, soon.
My mind still focused on my own inner turmoil, I almost ran into a woman in front of me, stopping just in time. Taking a step back I go to apologize for my lack of focus and almost swallow my own tongue.
“Just the student I was looking for,” Ms Johnson, one of the university administrators, said with a smile.
My eyes widened as I shot a look in Eva’s direction, her worry a mirror for my own.
“You were looking for me ma’am?” I asked hesitantly.
Her smile doesn’t waver even for a second. “Yes, Miss Ross. Dean Williams would like to see you if you’re free.”
I stood there, frozen for a moment, trying to comprehend the situation. Dean Williams wanted to see me? My heart raced as a surge of nervousness washed over me.
Eva's hand gently squeezed my arm, offering a silent support. I took a deep breath and straightened my posture, steeling myself for whatever lay ahead. It was crucial to approach this meeting with composure and professionalism.
"Of course, I'm available to meet with Dean Williams," I replied, my voice steady despite the butterflies fluttering in my stomach. "May I ask what it is regarding?"
Ms. Johnson's expression remained friendly, but her eyes held a hint of curiosity. "I'm afraid I don't have the details, Miss Ross. The Dean did not specify. It's best to address any concerns or questions directly with him."
I nodded, understanding that I would have to find out the purpose of the meeting directly from Dean Williams. It was clear that speculating or getting anxious would only serve to heighten my own anxiety.
"Thank you for letting me know," I said, my voice calm. "I'll head to his office right away."
With a reassuring smile, Ms. Johnson pointed me in the direction of Dean Williams' office and wished me luck. I exchanged a quick glance with Eva, who offered me an encouraging nod, before I set off towards the dean's office.
As I walked through the hallways, my mind raced with a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. I couldn't help but worry about what awaited me in that office, especially given the recent revelation that Eva knew.
