Page 20 of Make Me Learn
Regret washed over his face. “Star, please—”
"Don't," I hissed softly. "Not here. And you all decided not to see me there, so just don't."
His expression turned sad, realizing he had crossed a line. "I apologize," he whispered, sounding regretful. "You're right, and I'm sorry for overstepping. I won't bring it up again."
I could see the genuine remorse in his eyes, but I stayed firm. I turned my attention back to my sketch, hoping to shift the focus back to the project.
The rest of the class went by with Cae keeping his distance, giving me space but still offering support to the other students. I appreciated his professionalism, but the emotional turmoil inside me was growing stronger.
As the class came to an end, he approached me again. His voice was sincere as he said, "Remember, if you need anything—art-related or otherwise—don't hesitate to reach out. I'm here to help."
I nodded, giving him a curt but polite response. "Thanks, Professor Rivers. I'll keep that in mind."
I turned to leave and join the other students exiting the room, but he secretly held onto my hand, stopping me.
"I know what they said on Monday. I'll bow to their wishes, they're my Dominants after all. But what we had, that connection, that's not just going to disappear."
I felt surprise and vulnerability flood over me as Professor Rivers held onto my hand, his words hanging heavy in the air. His touch sent a jolt of electricity through me, stirring up the emotions I'd been trying so hard to suppress.
My heart skipped a beat, and his words echoed in my ears. The intensity of his grip on my hand made it hard to think straight. I gently pulled my hand away, my voice barely a whisper. "Caeden, please... You know we can't... It's too damn complicated."
His expression softened, and he took a step closer, filled with longing and resignation. "I get it, Star. I really do. But I can't ignore what I feel, what we had. It was real."
Tears welled up in my eyes, threatening to spill over. "It was real," I agreed, my voice barely audible. "But we can't change the circumstances, the choices that have been made. We have to respect them."
His gaze bore into mine, looking for any crack in my resolve. "I've never felt this way before," he confessed, his voice tinged with vulnerability. "I don't want to lose you, not so soon after finding you."
I stared back at him, searching his beautiful golden eyes for any signs of deceit or insincerity. But all I found was a deep longing mixed with a touch of resignation. It was clear he was wrestling with his own emotions, torn between personal desires and the boundaries that had been set.
"Cae, I get that what we had was real, but we both made choices," I replied, sadness in my voice. "We agreed to keep our personal lives separate from the classroom, and I think it's best if we stick to that."
His expression softened, understanding and regret playing across his face. "You're right," he admitted, disappointment in his voice. "We made a promise, and it wouldn't be fair to risk your education or our professional relationship."
I nodded, grateful that he acknowledged the importance of boundaries. "Thank you for understanding," I said softly, trying to convey my appreciation. "It's not an easy situation for either of us, but it was agreed that we have to prioritize our roles as student and professor."
He nodded, his sad gaze lingering on me a moment longer before he stepped back.
With a final nod, he bid me farewell and made his way out of the classroom, leaving me to grapple with the conflicting emotions swirling within me. The wall between us remained intact, but the encounter had awakened a longing I knew I had to resist.
As I walked out of the room on my own, my emotions swirled, my mind a mess of longing and frustration. The stubborn side of me couldn't help but rise up, fueled by a tinge of jealousy and resentment. How could Cae expect me to bear the weight of our unfulfilled connection when he had three perfectly capable dominants at his disposal?
Defiance surged through me as I thought about the situation. Who was he to pine for me when he had others who could give him everything he needed? Bitterness took hold, and a small, rebellious voice whispered in my mind.
I stopped in my tracks, tears welling up as frustration found its voice. "Cae," I muttered under my breath, a hint of brattiness creeping into my tone, "you've got not one, not two, but three dominants at your beck and call. Don't you dare act like you're the one suffering here."
My internal outburst provided a momentary release, letting some of the pent-up emotions escape. I took a deep breath, reminding myself that everyone's feelings and desires were valid, including my own. It wasn't fair to invalidate Cae's emotions or mine, regardless of the circumstances.
Determined, I wiped away my tears and straightened my posture. I would face our reality with strength and grace, focusing on my own growth and finding fulfillment in the path I had chosen. I wouldn't let bitterness or jealousy dictate my actions or tarnish the memories we shared.
With renewed determination, I continued my journey, vowing to embrace my own potential in every aspect. The internal conflicts would persist, but I would channel them into my focus, using them as fuel for my own development.
Istaredatmyselfin the mirror, biting my lip and trying to shake off the feeling of betraying the men I had gotten close to. But I knew I had to push past that for everyone's sake. Our connection couldn't go anywhere while I was still their student, and they had made that crystal clear at the beginning of the week.
Now it was Friday, and I found myself in a pretty navy and silver sequin dress that hugged my curves. The silver lingerie underneath, as gorgeous as it was, only added to the sense of guilt eating away at my stomach.
Taking a deep breath, I reminded myself that attending The Masquerade tonight was my own choice. I was a grown adult, and I couldn't let my conflicting emotions hold me back.
As I adjusted the dress in the mirror, I couldn't deny its allure. The sequins shimmered and sparkled with every move, catching the light in a captivating dance. I had reattached feathers to the shoulder, adding a splash of color to the outfit. It was a stunning ensemble, and it filled me with both excitement and guilt.
