Page 15 of Stick Around
Billy pulled at the black tie strangling his neck. Why was it so fucking tight? He wiped the sweat from his brow and straightened his posture. There were so many people here. When he and Nikki and the girls were planning the service, they figured there’d be a big turnout. It was one reason they decided to choose the hall instead of the church. But this place was packed.
“At this time, I would like to invite William Miller to say a few words.”
He almost didn’t notice the pastor call him. Nobody had called him William since his grandmother passed away. Nikki elbowed him in the ribs and he shot to his feet. Buttoning his suit jacket as he walked, he made his way to the stage, his tight dress shoes echoing across the hall with each step. Billy cleared his throat and adjusted the thin microphone perched at the top of the podium. He looked out across the crowd of people, landing on Grace. She smiled at him, and the stranglehold around his neck eased. He pulled a creased handful of notebook paper from his pocket. It rustled over the sound system as he smoothed it out against the stand.
“Hello. I’m sure everyone in the room today already knows me, but just in case, my name is Billy Miller, and I was really lucky to have known Brian.
“I started working at Avery Autos when I was still a kid in high school. Sixteen, I think. I loved anything with an engine, but especially motorcycles. So one day after school, I showed up at the shop and asked Brian if I could get a job. He gave me that cocked eyebrow of his,” a few quiet chuckles rustled through the crowd, “and asked me if I had any experience. I told him no, of course I didn’t. That’s why I was there, to get some experience. So Brian tells me if I want a chance he’ll give it to me, but I gotta earn it. Tells me I can start the next day, right after school. So I go home thinking, ‘wow, what a nice guy,’ right? Giving this kid a chance. I’m friggin’ stoked because I’m thinking I’m gonna be elbow deep in a Harley by this time tomorrow.” A few more scattered chuckles rolled through the audience, and Billy’s shoulders fell back a little more.
“The next day, I get off the bus after telling all my buddies how I’ve got this cool job and I’m gonna probably afford my own ride in, like, a couple of months. I go in and I’m like ‘Hey, Brian. What’s up? What are we working on today?’ You can imagine how that went. Brian doesn’t even look at me. He just hands me a bucket and says, ‘I’m your boss. Call me Mr. Avery. Now go scrub out the shitters.’”
Billy looked over at Madison and Lauren. They were both laughing, and it felt like a three-hundred pound weight lifting off his back. Billy smiled and relaxed into the rest of the eulogy.
“If you knew Brian, then you know that’s the kind of guy he was. He’d give anyone a chance, but you had to work. God knows he did. I never saw a man that worked as hard as he did. And we all know why—” Billy looked back to the sisters. “For his girls. Lauren, Madison, your dad loved you more than anything in the world. He would have done anything to make you two happy. But Jesus Christ, you sure drove him crazy, too.”
As Billy told stories about Madison and Lauren’s childhood hijinks, the crowd continued to laugh. “But my all-time favorite was Halloween night, two thousand and nine. Laur and Nik had been dating for ages by then, and they were pretty much inseparable. I mean, they’d always been inseparable, but back then, they were also attached at the lips. So anyway, Halloween night rolls around and Lauren tells Brian that her and Nikki are going to this party out at the barn by Shaunessy Creek. Brian tells her to be home by midnight. All good. Until midnight comes and goes and Lauren is nowhere to be found. The minutes are ticking by and Brian’s getting angrier and angrier. So it’s, like, one o’clock now and Brian’s had enough. He goes to find her.”
Billy grinned at Nikki, whose face was beet red, before glancing over at Lauren. She was smiling with a faraway haze in her eyes. Dave, her husband, was fuming.“Brian drives out to the barn, but he doesn’t find a party. Nope. He finds Lauren and Nikki snuggled up together under a sleeping bag, snug as two fuckin’ bugs in a rug.” The crowd erupted with laughter.
“I’ll let you all imagine how that story ends, but let’s just say Nikki had to hide in the bushes for a week afterwards.” He paused and found Grace’s face, locking eyes with her. “I think Brian would have loved this service. He would have wanted everyone to laugh, and to hug each other, and to say, ‘I love you.’ That’s something Brian did. He always told me and Nik he loved us and he was proud of us.” Billy’s voice caught in his throat. Grace smiled at him, and he could almost feel her hand on his back. “I haven’t known a lot of men in my life that would do that. Just tell people he loved them. But he wanted to make sure we all knew. And I think, if you are here today, then you know Brian loved you. And I don’t know what better thing there is to say about a guy after he’s gone.”
He offered Grace a short, grateful smile before turning his attention back to Madison and Lauren. “Mads, Laur. I hope you know how much everyone in this room loves you. How much me and Nik love you.” He watched as Lauren and Nikki turned to each other, Nikki giving Lauren a wink. “Your dad taught us how to be men. How to work hard, how to protect the people we care about, and how to love. And we’re going to be there, protecting you both and loving you both for as long as you want us to. And that goes double for Crazy-Maisie.” Billy beamed, nodding toward Lauren’s little girl. “Thank you for allowing me to speak today. Goodbye, Brian. I love ya, bud.”
The overhead speakers blared rock music as Billy stepped away from the podium and walked down the steps, back to his seat.
“Good job, bro,” Nikki whispered as Billy sat back down beside him. Billy adjusted his tie once more before turning back to find Grace’s face. Her warm, kind smile, shining on him from across the room, was a sanctuary.
For the next hour, the community shared stories, laughs, and tears as they grieved the loss of Brian Avery together. Billy felt like the emotional equivalent of a wrung out rag by the time the pastor returned to the podium. “At this time, Brian’s family travel to Snowbrook Memorial Garden for a private graveside service. We ask that only those invited by the family join the procession. For everyone else, we will open the kitchen and the bar shortly, so please help yourself to coffee, snacks, whatever you’d like. We’ll be listening to Brian’s favorite music and spending the evening together, as a community, remembering him. Thank you.”
The music started back up and Billy and Nikki rose, along with the other pallbearers, to line up along Brian’s casket. Together, they lifted him and carried him down the long, makeshift aisle between the tables in the hall.
* * *
As soon asBilly returned from the cemetery, he searched for Grace. She was standing against the bar, chatting with Dr. Mackey. He thought he noticed her cheeks flush when she saw him approaching. Maybe it was wishful thinking.
“You did a wonderful job of the eulogy, Billy.” Dr. Mackey extended his hand to shake Billy’s.
“Yes,” Grace agreed. “It was beautiful.” Billy’s heart beat a little quicker at the sound of her voice.
“Thanks. I feel honored that Laur and Mads trusted me with it.” Billy stuffed his hands in his pockets to stop them from reaching for Grace.
“How’ve you been doing, son? That night must have been very difficult for you. Are you sleeping okay? Have you talked to anyone?”
“Nah.” Billy shook his head. “I’m good. Really. I’m doing okay.”
Dr. Mackey patted him on the shoulder. “It’s okay if you aren’t. Could be days or weeks from now, even. It would be normal to need to talk after such a traumatic event. If you ever start having any kind of trouble, feeling anxious or having trouble sleeping, anything like that, you come see me. Anytime.”
“Thanks, Dr. Mackey. I will. I promise.” Billy assured him.
“You make sure he does.” He pointed a playful finger at Grace.
“You got it,” she replied with a tiny salute.
“Take care of yourself, Billy. Grace, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Crackling silence filled the space between Grace and Billy that Dr. Mackey left behind. Billy dipped his head, hoping to catch Grace’s eye, but she fixed her gaze on the glass in her hands. She tucked a loose curl behind her ear and Billy nearly crawled out of his skin wishing he could run his fingers through the soft waves. He searched his brain for something clever to say. Something to make her laugh. But all he could think about was how gorgeous she was.
Leaning in and lowering his voice to keep any nearby ears from overhearing, he whispered to her, “You look beautiful.”
