Page 23 of Real Forever
“You mountain bike?”
“Yeah. Me and my roommate, Zach. We go out most weekends. There are tons of trails around here, and it’s pretty awesome. I never had that back home in the city. So I get what you’re saying about the calming. You get out there on the trails and it’s only you. Muscles pumping, breath pounding. All the chatter sort of quiets down, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah… exactly.” They locked eyes for a second, maybe two. “My turn,” Madison said, breaking the tension. “What is something guaranteed to make you laugh?”
“Easy. Old Adam Sandler movies.Billy Madison,Happy Gilmore, all the classics.”
“You’re shitting me. I fucking love Sandler.”
“Really?” Jake laughed in surprise.
“Yes. Lauren makes fun of me for it all the time, but I don’t care. Those movies are guaranteed to turn around a shit day.”
“Which one is your favorite?”
“ProbablyThe Wedding Singeror50 First Dates. I’m a sucker for him and Drew Barrymore together.”
“Ah, good choice. ‘Not porno tongue. Church tongue’,” Jake said, imitating his favorite line from the movie.
Madison erupted into laughter in response. “Yes. Oh my god, I cannot believe you know that line. Such a great fucking movie.” Feeling Jake’s amused gaze, she blushed and reined her guffaw into a giggle. “Your turn.”
“My turn. Okay…” Jake drummed his fingertips on his leg. “Okay. What is something guaranteed to piss you off?”
“Piss me off? Easy. People who are assholes to waitresses or clerks in stores or any type of service person. People who think their status as customer makes them the fucking king and all the lowly peasants should bow down before them. The customer is not always right and, in fact, is usually wrong as fuck.” Madison’s voice was rising, and her cadence sped up. “I was at this children’s clothing store a couple of weeks ago at the mall in Silver Creek, buying something for Maisie, right? And there’s this lady in front of me in line. Looks well off enough. Like, she’s well-dressed and carrying a nice purse or whatever. And this fucking lady is trying to get a refund for a pair of kid’s jeans because her child wore a hole in the knee.”
Jake chuckled.
“Oh no, I’m not done. She fully admitted her own child wore the hole in the knee, and that she no longer had the receipt, but still felt entitled to a full refund. So the girl working behind the desk looked up the code, or whatever, from the label inside the jeans and said ‘Ma’am, I’m sorry, but it seems like we haven’t sold this style in store for about four years now.’”
“No.”
“Oh, yes. And this woman, this entitled, nutbag of a woman says ‘I’m well aware you haven’t sold these jeans in four years. I purchased them for my older son, who outgrew them some time ago. His younger brother had been wearing them before he outgrew them as well. He’s the one who wore the holes in them.’”
Jake burst into a full-blown laugh, sending an electric tingle up Madison’s spine.
“Like, can you fucking imagine the gall? Your two shitty kids wore these jeans completely out and you want to come in here, without a receipt, and ask for a refund? And then, of course, she was a huge bitch when the girl told her she couldn’t offer a refund. Like, what in the ever loving fuck goes through people’s minds when they pull shit like that?”
“She sounds like a real peach of a woman,” Jake replied, still chuckling.
“Okay,” Madison clapped her hands. “My turn again. What would be the first thing you did if you won the lottery?”
Jake chuckled, “The lottery? Well, how big of a lottery are we talking about?”
“I don’t know. Does it matter? Let’s say… like, fifty million.”
“Whoa, okay. Fifty million. Hmm… Good question. I guess I would meet with my financial advisor. For sure. So she could analyze my return rate and—”
Madison’s jaw dropped open, and she raised a hand to interrupt him. “Oh my god. You’ve got to be kidding me. Jake Murphy, that is the most boring answer I can think of. It’s fifty million dollars. Who cares about a fucking rate of return? That can’t be your fantasy.” She stared him down, blinking. “I’m not allowing it.”
Jake chuckled and grinned. “Sorry. I mean, it is exactly what I would do. But fine, in a fantasy alternate reality world… I would close my office. I would take a year and travel. Not to touristy spots, but more hidden, off the beaten path places. Places where I could disappear. Peace, quiet, and my bike. I’d bike through hills and mountains and beaches and see everything the world has to offer. Instead of just a computer screen, you know?”
“What would your first location be?”
“Hmm, maybe a beachy place. I have a friend who went to Turks and Caicos for his honeymoon. I remember seeing those pictures when he got back and thinking it looked like paradise. So, maybe I’d do that. I’ve never taken a vacation. I’ve always been so busy with school and now work.”
“You’ve never taken a vacation?”
“No, not really.”
