It’s late at night and I’m trying to concentrate on writing a paper that’s due next week, but I can’t focus for shit, so I give up and leave my room to grab a snack. I know there’s ranch dip in the fridge and a new bag of potato chips on the kitchen counter, and while it’s almost eleven at night and the last thing I need is to consume a bunch of sodium before I go to bed, I’m still creeping down the hall. Heading for the kitchen, I pause, an unfamiliar sound making me go completely still.
What…what is that?
I crane my head toward the living room, my heart pounding in my throat. The lights are off. I didn’t think Natalie was home yet but is that…is that her?
And is that noise I’m hearing the sound of lips connecting. Parting. Reconnecting?
The rustle of clothing, a soft moan flits through the air and I realize someone is making out.
In our living room.
Feeling brazen, I march into the living room and reach for the nearest lamp, flicking it on. Sucking in a shocked gasp of horror when I see who’s wrapped up around each other on our couch, their mouths fused, hands in each other’s hair.
My roommate and…
Big D?
Derek?
They break away from each other at the same time, Natalie ducking her head against Derek’s barrel chest, while he grins at me, his cheeks ruddy. Like he’s…what?
Embarrassed?
“Yo, Maguire.”
“What the hell are you doing here?” I practically scream.
He lets go of Natalie and rubs at the corner of his mouth, contemplating me. “Um, what’s it look like to you?”
Is he seriously the one asking me questions? Please.
“Are you two hooking up? On my couch?” I am screeching. And I sort of don’t care because I’m absolutely floored by this turn of events.
Natalie lifts her head, and I take in her flushed face and bright eyes. “We’re not hooking up.”
“Then what would you call it?”
“Kissing on the couch?” Derek offers. I glare at him and he goes quiet.
“I thought you hated this guy,” I say to Natalie, lowering my voice like we’re sharing secrets with him sitting right there.
“Hey,” Derek protests, sounding offended.
“Shush,” I tell him before I turn to Nat. “Seriously, what’s going on?”
Natalie’s expression turns sheepish and she leans her head against Derek’s chest, a faint smile curling her lips. “We’re…dating.”
My mouth drops open. “You’re kidding.”
“Afraid not.”
“You don’t got faith in me, Rubes?”
“Oh my God, do not call me that,” I tell Derek. It sounds too close to pubes. “And no, I have zero faith in you. You’re a player. You’ve said that from the moment I met you.”
“Well, I’m a changed man thanks to Natalie.” He slings his thick arm around Natalie’s shoulders, nearly engulfing her as he tugs her close and drops a sweet kiss on her forehead. “We’ve been seeing each other for a month.”
A month?