Page 120 of I Kissed Shara Wheeler
“I guess they noticed I left again,” Shara says.
“Do you think he knows what you did?” Chloe asks.
“Maybe,” Shara says. “But he’s got bigger problems than me right now, so maybe I can get out of False Beach before I have to deal with it.”
Shara slips the necklace under the neckline of her dress and straightens her shoulders, and Chloe realizes this is Shara when nobody’s looking. Born so smart and so curious and so fucking proud that not even Jesus could convince her she was wrong. Saved by God first and her God complex second. Going through hell and painting pink nail polish over it.
“You’re kind of a badass,” Chloe says. She’s trying not to look too impressed, but she knows it’s not working, because Shara’s mouth tugs into that satisfied smirk.
“Wow, you’re like, obsessed with me,” Shara says.
Chloe turns her face away. “Bye.”
Shara laughs and kisses Chloe hard on the cheek before she goes.
FROM THE BURN PILE
Teacher self-evaluation written by Jack Truman, choir instructor, scrapped and accidentally mixed in with a packet of sheet music eventually burned by Benjy
I think a lot about the movie Tremors, starring Kevin Bacon. It’s about a bunch of rednecks fighting giant sandworms in the desert. In the first twenty minutes, Kevin Bacon finds some guy’s hard hat on the ground full of brains, because the director needs the viewer to see the brains, and Kevin Bacon has to be the one who sees it because he’s the star of the movie. But in the real world, if you happened to see somebody’s brains by accident, it would mess you up. The whole movie would be about the fact that you saw somebody’s brains.
By the time the average Willowgrove student is my age, that feeling you felt when you saw or heard something really bad might not be such a big deal anymore. It’s just finding the brains. It’s the bad thing that had to happen to move the plot forward. You’re so busy shooting sandworms with an elephant gun that you’re not even thinking about the brains, even though they’re what scared you enough to go get an elephant gun in the first place. But when you’re in high school—when you’re only twenty minutes into the movie—the brains are everything.
Whenever I think about God’s plan for my life, I think it’s to keep some kids from seeing the brains. Or at least showing them something in the desert that isn’t brains. A cool cactus, maybe. I don’t know. Metaphors are hard. I’m not the literature teacher.
24
DAYS WITH SHARA (OFFICIALLY): 5
DAYS WITH SHARA (EMOTIONALLY): 1,363
DAYS UNTIL GRADUATION: 0
“You are not wearing a flannel to graduation,” Chloe says.
Rory pulls a face at her and the black dress shirt she’s holding up, unearthed from the depths of his closet.
“It’s a protest graduation,” Rory says. “Why does it matter what I wear?”
“Because Smith is gonna want to take photos, and you’re gonna be mad if you look stupid in them.”
He sighs, then snatches the shirt out of her hands. “Fine.”
“You should wear it with that chain you like,” says Shara’s voice.
She’s in Rory’s window, where the morning glows around her through the flowering dogwood and crepe myrtles, and under her burgundy graduation gown she’s wearing the same simple white sundress she wore in Chloe’s bed. Chloe can’t believe she’s dating someone who comes with her own reel of cinematic entrances.
(They are dating, right? They haven’t technically had the conversation, but trying to ruin someone’s life because you’re too attracted to them has to count.)
“Hi,” Chloe says.
“Hi,” Shara says, and then she looks at Chloe in that intense way she does, taking in her burgundy lipstick and the green dress she picked out carefully from a secondhand store in Birmingham. Pink blooms in her cheeks.
“Jesus, are you done checking her out?” Rory says.
Chloe’s jaw drops. “That’s what that is?”
“Shut up, Rory,” Shara says, pretending to fight it when Chloe pulls her in to her side.
