Page 104 of I Kissed Shara Wheeler
“So, to be clear,” Chloe says, “the giant squirrels are high school trauma.”
“Yes,” Ash says simply. “Now, can you bring this glitter to Georgia?”
Chloe takes the can of glitter Ash presses to her hands and stands up.
She looks around for Georgia, but instead she sees Smith helping a junior get an ice cream stain out of her shirt. Two band kids strategizing how they’re going to explain this to their parents. Summer smiling like she’s at a pep rally. People who never talk in class.
There must be a lot of giant squirrels she can’t see, she realizes.
Shame is a way of life here. It’s stocked in the vending machines, stuck like gum under the desks, spoken in the morning devotionals. She knows now that there’s a bit of it in her. It was an easy choice not to go back in the closet when she got here, but if she’d grown up here, she might never have come out at all. She might be a completely different person. There’s so much to it here, so much that nobody tells anyone about.
So, if she’s the only one in the class of ’22 who’s really out for now, if her existence can provide cover for half her graduating class to stand up for something without saying things about themselves they can’t yet say, that’s enough. That’s plenty.
“So,” Benjy says when Chloe finds Georgia next to him, “I know things have been crazy, but I just wanted to say: Oh my God, Shara Wheeler is in love with you, and Georgia has been secretly dating a member of the homecoming court. Like, what is going on? Also, when do I get a hot person?”
“I saw you flirting with Ace,” Chloe counters.
“Yeah, he’s like, Dodge Truck Month–level straight,” Benjy says dismissively. “I’m not wasting my time.”
“Benjy, come lie down over here and let me trace you,” Ash calls over.
“Why?”
“It’s art.”
Benjy sighs but trots off.
“Yeah, uh,” Georgia says in a low voice, looking up from her paint. “At what point are we going to talk about the Shara situation?”
Chloe concentrates on dipping her paintbrush. “What about it?”
“Mainly, why you’re not currently making out with her.”
“Why,” Chloe says, nearly upsetting the can and ruining the whole banner, “would I be doing that?”
“What, am I supposed to pretend the girl she was talking about in her Live wasn’t you? Even Benjy put that together, and he’s not the fastest on the uptake.”
“I mean, yeah,” Chloe confirms begrudgingly, “but I’m not going to date her just because she announced that she likes me.”
“So, you’re saying you don’t like her.”
“Why would I like her? She’s not a good person!”
“Should I remind you of the several occasions on which you have testified that you think she’s hot?” Georgia says. “Or maybe I should go get the Monster Fucker Collection from behind the desk? It kind of sounds like she’s the megabitch of your dreams.”
Being known the way Georgia knows her is really annoying sometimes.
“Okay, fine, I’m attracted to her,” Chloe concedes, “but I’m not going to date her. In fact, I am refusing to date her, as a power move.”
“Chloe, I love you, but that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You’re still doing things based on what she wants, not because it’s what you want. That’s like, the opposite of a power move.”
“I feel like we’re losing track of the point,” Chloe says, refusing to respond to that, “which is: She’s not a good person!”
She shoots a hand out and grabs one of Rory’s ankles as he passes.
“Can I help you?” Rory says, frowning down at her.
“Tell Georgia that I’m right, that Shara isn’t a good person.”
