Page 58 of Anatomy of a Killer
Leaning her head back, Nathalie gazes up at the black sky. I gently put my hand on her sleeve.
‘A couple of days ago, I almost lost a friend too. Her name’s Eva. I’ve known her since we were children. She was seriously injured and is now in a coma. The doctors say she’s stable and making a textbook recovery. But I still don’t dare ring the hospital because I’m terrified they’ll tell me her condition has got worse.’
Nathalie looks at me, her eyes astonishingly alert and large in an otherwise very weary face. ‘Is it true?’ Although her tone is different now, milder, the question is still puzzling. I shrug, at a loss. ‘I mean, I know it’s not true you’re a journalist,’ she clarifies. ‘Someone found out what you told the police officers who questioned you after. . . er. . .’ She tails off. I nod as a sign that she doesn’t have to spell it out. ‘Anyway, they say you’re the daughter of the man they arrested in Berlin.’
My heart stops momentarily; I’m mystified. Nobody has spoken to me about this, not even Brock. And yet, in whatever way, it must surely come like a bombshell that I’m the daughter of the chief suspect.
‘Don’t lose sleep over it, everybody has their own lies. And Brock’s bound to talk to you about it,’ Nathalie says, as if she’s read my mind. ‘He thinks your father’s innocent and he’s wondering how he can use you to get the media’s attention for his campaign here. I’ve got to go now.’ Her last words are harsher again, just like the way she shakes my hand from her arm and moves away. Stomping off purposefully. I don’t want to let her go.
‘I’m sorry about that too!’ I hurry to keep pace with her. ‘I didn’t want to lie to anyone. But you can’t imagine what it’s like. I’m trying to prove my father’s innocence, but till now I’ve been completely on my own. Apart from my friend Eva, and Jakob– who really is a journalist, by the way– nobody’s been prepared to listen to me.’
Nathalie stops. Something’s weird. As if from nowhere, the night has descended on to her face, souring her features and paralysing her expression.
‘Nathalie?’
‘It’s not your fault, Ann. But what he did is unforgivable.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Ann!’ Jakob’s voice cuts across the marketplace. I whip around, first to him, then back to Nathalie, who’s running away.
‘Nathalie!’ I cry, setting off after her.
‘Ann!’ Jakob again. ‘Stop! It’s important! They know who he is!’
Marcus Steinhausen– it strikes me like lightning. I stop so abruptly that I almost slip, and Nathalie vanishes into the darkness.
Us
Nathalie, Nathalie, Nathalie.
Keep running, you won’t get away.
Run like Sarah ran away from the dragon. Defend yourself like her mother tried to defend herself. Throwing her hands up, ducking desperately– still the heavy metal hook sank into her neck. The blood spurting everywhere and her gurgling like a blocked drain. She collapsed to her knees, forced into humiliation at least for the final moments. Too late, you miserable, worthless creature.
Run, Nathalie. Save yourself.
It won’t be long before everyone knows.
What then? A final battle? Fine by me. I will protect my little princess by all means necessary. We’ve become good at hiding, expert. And nobody will destroy what we have created.
Spring, my angel, think of spring.
When the meadows turn green and are dotted with daisies, ground elder and red clover. We’ll dance in the sunshine, squint at the light. You are my courage, my comfort, my life. I’m ready for anything.
Ann
Schergel, 28 December 2017
I’m sitting huddled by the shower in room 113. Although there are two doors between me and the insistent knocking, it still sounds deafening, like menacing fists striking wood which is about to succumb. I feel like howling. And anyhow, Brock doesn’t have to break down the door; he could simply use his master key.
Please, stop! Stop knocking, leave me in peace!
‘It seems like he’s not going to go away,’ Jakob says from the other side of the bathroom door, his voice muffled. It sounds like a question, as if he’s asking my permission to sort the matter out.
‘I don’t care what you do,’ I call out. ‘I just want him to stop!’ I need peace and quiet, for God’s sake. I have to concentrate. In my head there’s something I can’t get at, as if it’s covered, buried under this fricking racket. All I know is that it’s got something to do with Nathalie.
It was already too late to turn around and follow her after Jakob had pointed out my misapprehension.They know who he is.
