Page 58 of Back to Claim His Crown
Zara’s heart skidded. Maia hadn’t asked about him until now.
‘No.’
Maia nodded but couldn’t quite hide her curiosity. ‘I had the feeling you were close...’
Zara shook her head. ‘Apparently we’refriends,’ she muttered.
But they really weren’t.
Sympathy softened Maia’s eyes. ‘I had no idea of Lucian’s past before Niko told me. It must be very complicated for him and he must have so much to deal with,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry if things haven’t worked out the way thatyouwanted. Take the time you need to rest, here. Grieve. Then go on.’
Zara nodded, appreciating Maia’s honesty and her restraint. She didn’t attempt to make it better and offered no false reassurances. It was what it was. And it was over.
She’d contacted her parents, simply to let them know she was safe and well and hoped they were the same. A small part of her still wanted to please them—her inner child who craved their attention, love and approval. But the adult in her needed this chance to live her life fully and not settle for less.
She didn’t try to contact Lucian. She needed a complete break to recover. Because she had been just that distraction—like a balm to help him get through a brutal time. She’d offered physical contact, amusement, maybe the smallest solace. But there wasn’t depth to it. She’d overstepped the boundaries he’d tried to keep. Her fault for taking it so seriously and thinking she could get beneath the gnarled, scarred tissue protecting his heart. He didn’t want her to do that. And that was fair enough. Who was she to demand more than what he was willing to give? Just as he shouldn’t demand she take less than what she wanted too.
They wanted each other, liked each other even. But, ultimately, they wanted different things.
Lucian wished he’d refused Zara when she’d requested to leave just over a week ago. He could have been a demanding dictator but he’d helped her leave instead, making it as swift as possible. Not because he’d been determined to do the right thing but because it was what she’d needed from him. Because he couldn’t give her what she’d said shewanted.
Because he couldn’t believe what she’d said she felt.
Because he couldn’t have stood to hear her say it ever again.
He could not be the man for her. He had to be King more than man. Duty had to supersede the personal. What was best for her would never be him—not now, not even in that damned decade he’d banked on. How badly he’d just hurt her proved it, right?
‘Zara has settled in well. Maia’s enjoying her company very much. They’ve been spending a lot of time together.’
He really didn’t want to listen to Niko right now but he couldn’t slam the phone down on his friend.
‘That’s great,’ he said mechanically.
There was a silence then a growl from Niko. ‘I know I always beat you in calculus but I didn’t realise you were actuallythisunintelligent,’ he said.
‘You never beat me in calculus. I helped you.’
‘That’s not how I remember it,’ Niko shot back blithely. ‘But, either way, you need to sort your head, Lucian.’
‘Because...?’
‘You know why,’ Niko said. ‘You’ve just let the best thing to hit your life leave.’
Lucian gave up any pretence of ignorance. ‘What has she told you?’
‘Nothing. It was obvious at the ball, Lucian. You couldn’t take your eyes off her.’
Yeah, that was part of the problem.
‘You know you were going through the motions for years here on Piri-nu. Working hard, building strength, amassing resources, silently seething, barely existing...but you actually smiled when you mentioned her to me when I arrived. Did you even know you did that?’
Lucian closed his eyes. She’d always made him smile.
‘It’s the most alive I’ve seen you inyears,’ Niko added brutally. ‘Don’t sink back into that numb state now—’
‘Niko—’
‘No, I don’t want to hear whatever the excuse is.’ Niko spoke over him. ‘I know there are issues. We all have them. You damn well know I do. That Maia does. But you also know I’m better when I’m alongside her. Same thing, brother. You’ll handle everything better with Zara beside you. So will she. That’s how it works.’
