Page 25 of Back to Claim His Crown
‘I like building things,’ he said, leaning back and watching her expression with an amused one of his own. ‘I worked on a building for Niko for a long time.’
Yes, she’d read that in his time on Piri-nu he’d lived for the best part of two years on King Niko’s private island. ‘Was this the holiday home?’
‘It was badly damaged in a cyclone. Took a lot of time to rebuild, actually.’ He nodded. ‘It was a way of maintaining my physical fitness.’
Yes, Lucian had rebuilt himself. And then the house. And now his monarchy.
‘Sadly, you don’t seem to have a house for me to literally rebuild, so what alternative physical activity would you suggest?’ she enquired a little too innocently.
His mouth twitched. ‘Given you’re concerned about the sensitivity of your skin, perhaps something indoors might be best.’
‘Indoors, you think?’
He inhaled deeply. ‘Tell me about the situation in Dolrovia.’
She smiled as he changed topic. ‘Do you want the diplomatic, docile Princess’s response or my actual opinion?’
He did smile then. ‘You choose.’
‘We’re a small nation, dependent on good trade ties with those nearest and there isn’t a need for its old Royal family any more. There hasn’t been for a long time. But my father can’t accept the reality that the duty he was born for doesn’t exist any more. They’ve become something of an embarrassment with their belief in their grandeur. Especially for my more modern older sisters.’
‘And for you?’ he said. ‘You’re unusually reticent about your reasons for wanting to escape, Zara.’
‘Honestly, it doesn’t seem right to moan about my life, given what you’ve endured. I’m going to sound pathetic.’
‘Shall I tell you what I know already? I know your parents were older when they had you. You were very much a ‘late lamb’ who—’
‘Was a disappointment because I wasn’t a boy.’
‘So you weren’t an indulged baby?’
‘There was nothing to indulge me with.’
‘Not even attention?’ He watched her curiously.
Definitely not that. Zara sighed—if he really wanted to know, she would tell him. She was the distraction, after all.
‘Despite our family finances heading into decline, my parents kept spending as if every cent earned in Dolrovia was theirs by divine right. Maximum consumption. The public weren’t crazy about it and parliament hit them with their first ever tax bill. My older sisters were already educated and had built their lives. Mia works in an art gallery and is engaged, while Ana’s a successful academic at the university—both of which are considered acceptable roles. They like their life in the city and it doesn’t matter that our titles will die with us. Neither of them wants to deal with our stuck-in-the-last-century parents. But I was young when they were deposed and my parents couldn’t afford the fees to send me to the same elite school. My parents wouldn’t let me go to the local one because that would look even moreshamefuland common.’
‘Hence the nineteenth-century governess business.’
‘Exactly.’ She shot him a small smile. ‘That was just one way they tried to hide the true state of our affairs. So, while theoretically I’m still a princess, there’s no power, no perks, no privileges. My duty is to my parents and that’s okay, but they allow me no self-determination. They seemed to think I’d always be there and to the rest of the world I’ve just been kind of...forgotten about.’
‘What do you do all day in this prison?’
‘I try to accommodate the demands of an old king who still can’t grasp he has no power.’ She paused and lifted her chin. ‘I actually have taken on a lot of the admin of running the castle, and some of that is okay, but the problem is there’s no choice and no chance for anything different. That’s what I’m angry about. I don’t expect things to be handed to me. Iwantto work but my parents view paid work as beneath Royal life. My sister Ana gets away with her career only because she’s literally a genius and so has actually brought us a sort of prestige, and Mia is so stunning she’s really the ‘art’ in the gallery. I can’t even do charitable work because apparently that would require me to have a designer wardrobe that they can’t afford. Not to mention the fact that I lack the right social skills because I get too awkward and babble and the nerves have to be covered up.’ But she’d never been given the experience to overcome them. She’d done what she could in the castle—taking over the official correspondence as well. Her parents weren’t even aware she did all that—a small fact always made her smile, somewhat sadly.
‘The total control isn’t protective, it’s not because they care aboutme, but more how our circumstanceslook. I’m not as pretty as Mia, not as smart as Ana, and neither ofthemare interested in helping me because it’s convenient that I remain in the country bearing the burden of our parents’ demands and they can just live their lives...’ She sighed. ‘While I was younger I guess that made sense. But they barely know me now, yet they’ve always said over and over that they know how happy I am in the country, how I would hate to have to work in the city, that I don’t understand what having to work in the real world is like...’
She looked at his deepening frown. ‘And maybe I don’t understand all that, but only because I’ve never been given the chance to try and they don’t stop to listen. I need to get on with my own life and not be dependent upon the little that’s left. It’s not like here, where the Royal family still carries such importance.’
‘So that’s why you sought importance with Anders?’
She shook her head. It wasn’t about importance as such. ‘I just don’t want to waste my life and I don’t want to be lonely. And I have been.’ She shrugged. ‘I wanted to be what my family needed me to be. I wanted to please them. I thought the engagement would do that...’
‘And it did?’
‘First time my mother actually gushed over me.’ She wrinkled her nose. ‘But you know I don’t feel the need to please them any more.’
