Page 137 of Sit, Stay, Love
Toby cleared his throat. ‘Where are you staying?’
‘Not with Ethan, if that’s what you’re asking.’
‘I wasn’t. I was just wondering.’
She turned to face him. ‘Are we not even going to talk about what happened? You got smashed at an important night for me, then humiliated me and yourself by hitting… a friend of mine.’ She flashed a fiery look.
He pushed a hand through his hair. ‘I’m sorry. I am so fucking sorry, Ser. You must have heard how sorry I am on all my damn messages.’
She glanced awkwardly at the glass in her hand.
His palms ran up and down his thighs. ‘I never meant to embarrass you or ruin your night, or even thump…’ He hesitated. ‘Ethan. I mean, I’m less sorry about that, but I’m still sorry.’
She huffed a dry laugh. ‘Great apology.’
‘I know. It was a bit shit, wasn’t it? I’ve been rehearsing it too.’
‘You rehearsed that?’
‘The dogs in the surgery seemed to like it. Though to be fair, most were sedated at the time.’ His lips quirked into a crooked grin.
She glanced at him, her own lips pressed together as she tried not to smile. ‘Well, it needs more work.’
‘I’ll put in a few more hours when I get home. There’s a dog on a drip.’
She tutted, thumped him on the arm, then sighed. ‘God, Herriot. What a clusterfuck.’
‘Yeah. I know.’
‘Why did you tell me that you’re in love with me?’
He stared at his hands, silent for a moment, then took a deep breath and said, ‘Because I am.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me sooner?’
‘Because I didn’t want to screw everything up.’
‘How could you be certain it would?’
‘Because I wasn’t sure you were in love with me back?’
‘But what if I was?’
He looked up and his eyes searched her face. ‘Fuck, Ser. Don’t tell me that.’
She wrapped her fingers around his hand, her stomach fluttering from his warmth. They were so alike, it was crazy.
‘I’m so mad at you, Herriot. So mad. Why did you have to wait until I was happy with someone else to tell me? You’ve fucked up everything. You’ve fucked us up.’ She wanted to saywefucked us up, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. That would be admitting too much.
‘I know. I know I have. I know we’ll never be what we were. But I had to tell you. I thought in the last few weeks that sometimes, when you looked at me…’ He took a deep breath. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘So that wasn’t a rage kiss at my parents’, huh?’
He laughed. ‘Come on, Sera, who rage kisses? I was hoping you’d kiss me back, and for a second…’ He let out a heavy sigh. ‘For a second, you did.’ He nudged her with his shoulder then pushed off the couch. ‘I should go. I’m sure you have loads to do.’
‘You don’t want to stay for a bit?’ she asked. ‘We can watch a movie?’
He shook his head then bent down and kissed her cheek. ‘I’ll see myself out. Have an amazing time. Send me a gloating text message every once in a while.’
