Page 133 of Sit, Stay, Love
She phoned her dad. ‘Who’s your accountant? I need to sit down with someone to work out all these donations and sponsors.’
‘Before you yell at me,’ he said, ‘the ten thousand dollars was your mother’s idea.’
‘What? What ten grand?’
‘Oh. Nothing. I’ll email you my accountant’s details.’
‘Daaad.’
‘Seeeraaa.’
They laughed.
‘Your mother wants to talk to you. Lydia—’ he called. ‘It’s your daughter.’
Sera put her head in her hand, waiting for the onslaught.
‘How did it all go, darling? Did you get lots of sponsors?’
Sera looked at her phone in surprise. ‘I did, Mum. Four. And lots of donations. One of which you’re responsible for, I believe. I’ll be returning it.’
Her mother sighed. ‘No, you won’t be. It was part of my inheritance from your grandparents’ estate. It belongs to your property anyway. I just wanted to make sure you’re going to Los Angeles for the right reasons, because if it’s just for the money, then now you have a choice. If it’s for Ethan… well, I’m not sure how you feel about him, so I’ll butt out there. If it’s for the adventure, then I’m all for it.’
Sera braced herself.
‘However, if you’re going because you want to punish Toby,’ her mother said, ‘I want you to have a very serious think about it.’
‘Mum.’
‘That’s all I’m saying, darling. Just make sure you’re going for the right reasons. For you. Not because of a man. Either one of them. I know whatyou’re like about commitments and making decisions and never budging. You’re loyal to a fault. But this is too important. You can change your mind. Do you hear me?’
‘I hear you.’
‘Good.’ She sighed heavily. ‘I was watching you last night, talking to everyone. How professional you were. How passionate. I’m so very proud of you, and of what you’ve created. I know I don’t tell you that enough. I know I can be hard work sometimes.’ She sniffed and laughed. ‘I just want the world for you. You know that don’t you?’
Sera’s chin quivered, and she rubbed her hand across her damp eyes.
Her mother sniffed again. ‘My goodness. Right. Enough of this. Why don’t you come over on Saturday for some cheese?’
Sera laughed. ‘I’d love to.’
Buffy snuffled at the air, her big black nose pointing skywards, taking in the springtime smells. Sera smiled and closed her eyes, tilting her face towards the sun, enjoying the warmth on her skin and the gentle breeze that tousled her hair. Her grandmother’s seat was her favourite place to go for a little peace and quiet, and to clear her mind.
Fat chance of that.She snapped her eyes open and groaned.
Toby had told her he loved her. Just like that. Through a skinful of beer. After two years, he’d told her he loved her. No. Not loved her. He wasin lovewith her. And according to his drunken feelings dump, she was in love with him too.
She rubbed her brow.
Ever since Ethan had stumbled nervously into their lives, her friendship with Toby had careened off the rails. Everything between them was weirdly amplified. Their quiet moments on the couch, loaded. Their affectionate touches, steamy. Their conversations charged with an undercurrent of unsaid words. Ethan’s presence had somehow upset their comfortable,perfect apple cart and the more she tried to pretend it hadn’t, the more desperately confused she became.
What would she have done if Toby had made a move on her, as Ethan had so cruelly put it? She looked down at the grass and the tiny daisies nudging their way through the shoots, gulping back the sob rising in her throat. God. She would have gone for it. She would have. If he’d wanted more than friendship, she would have been there for that, one hundred per cent.Damn it. Why were they both only figuring all of this out now? A tear trickled down her cheek.
It didn’t matter. He’d blown it in a drunken, humiliating burst of anger and gross possessiveness, and she’d blown it by lying to herself.
Toby had been spot-on. She was too scared to own her feelings. For him and for Ethan, who she knew was way more invested in their relationship than she was – even if that was mostly because of Toby. She hadn’t dared look inwards long enough to figure that out until now. She just squashed it all down and went on smiling, doing the thing she thought she should be doing, even if it never felt quite right. Because sheshouldbe crazy about Ethan. He was exciting, his life was exciting, full of new things for her to experience. And he was beautiful and fun and so patient with her, and gosh, his kisses…
But she wasn’t crazy about him. No matter how much she tried to be. She just wasn’t.
