Page 105 of Sit, Stay, Love
She sighed and touched her mouth, as if the sensation of his soft lips lingered there.
He’d kissed her cheek before. Her forehead a million times. The top of her head, the tip of her nose, her elbow that day they decided to try roller blading and she’d fallen and grazed it. So many kisses, but until last night, never once on her lips.
She squinted as a memory aggressively forced its way into her brain. Except for their first Christmas together, when her parents had gone to Fijiand his mother was on a cruise, and she and Toby had thrown a Festivus for two.
At the end of the evening, as she was preparing to leave, he’d asked her if she’d like to stay. But the shelter was new, and she was worried and wanted to get home. He’d kissed her goodnight, leaning in the Uber window and pressing his mouth tenderly to hers.
She recalled wondering if that kiss was the beginning of something. If this gorgeous man who’d come so unexpectedly into her life was going to become more than a friend. But the next day, with both of them hungover and tired, they’d sat on her couch, shoving pizza into their mouths and watchingElf, like a couple of buddies. And that’s how they’d stayed. There’d been no more kisses. Not even a hint of one. She was relieved about that at the time, because she was frantically busy and constantly freaking out that the whole Rose’s Rescue idea was complete folly. She’d been relieved that he didn’t kiss her again because she needed a friend more than she needed a lover. But she had liked the kiss. And she had kissed him back. How had she forgotten?
Thunder rumbled overhead and she shivered, even though the morning was warm and muggy. She puffed out her cheeks and slowly exhaled a wobbly breath. Toby. Every time he popped into her mind lately, her entire body was wracked with so many emotions, she couldn’t even name them.
Then there was the offer to assist Ethan in Los Angeles, which should have been an exciting one. She should be bursting out of her skin. On paper, it was amazing – hot movie star whisks her away to Hollywood to work on his next blockbuster film. But the whole thing was clouded in confusing relationship stuff, which she was beginning to understand she was woefully ill-equipped to navigate. She’d only known Ethan a few weeks, and she wasn’t entirely sure what was going on between them. They hadn’t even gone out on a date, not since the premiere debacle, so she couldn’t even say they were technically dating. Though they were certainly kissing, and she did like the kissing. She’d forgotten how nice kissing was, and Ethan had definitely reminded her of that.Oh boy, had he.
But then there was all the money stuff in the mix, which made her feel like a charity. Rose’s was, but she wasn’t, and she didn’t want to be reliant on anyone. Unless it was her folks. Or Toby.
She pulled out her phone. She couldn’t get through the day without knowing they were okay.
Sera: Hey.
Toby: Hey back.
Sera: Are we okay?
Toby: Well, I’m okay. You’re a nerd.
She laughed, happiness stirring in her chest.
Sera: Excuse me. Who can name every dinosaur species inJurassic Park?
Toby: Everyone?
Sera: Can we never fight again?
Toby: Depends.
Sera: On what?
She held her breath.
Toby: On whether you let me control the remote.
Sera: No way. You surf like Kelly Slater.
Toby: Gotta go. Need to jam a thermometer up a dog’s arse.
Sera: You say the sweetest things.
She closed her eyes and smiled, then looked out at the day, and with a relieved sigh, tossed the rest of her coffee on the garden. The knot in her stomach was still there, but it was looser.
She needed to see Ethan’s job offer as an opportunity and paycheque, and nothing else. The kissing could not be in the mix. Ethan could not be in the mix. Toby could not be in the mix.
She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. She should be excited. Why wasn’t she excited?
Her phone buzzed.
Ethan: Looks like a storm’s brewing. Do you still want me?
Sera: It’s pretty bleak here.
