Page 38 of Give Me a Sign
“I wasn’t playing,” I say and sign, making no effort to stop my laughter.
Ethan is still nowhere to be seen. Maybe he wasn’t planning to come back. Somehow, the fire is still burning—a small light in the darkness of overcast clouds. It gives the illusion that we’re nestled in a small space rather than in a wide patch of field. It’s just me and Isaac. And we’ll be on duty again tomorrow night. Perhaps we’ll be alone then, too.
“What’s up?” It’s Isaac’s turn to sign. We’re back to this. I laugh and face the fire, but he waves at me. “What?”
“What what?”
“No, that’s my question.” He smiles.
“I’m asking, too.”
He tilts his head, dropping an arm and letting his hand graze my knee. The fire pops, sending a few sparks toward us. He looks to make sure none landed on me before meeting my eyes once again.
“You know, right,” I sign, adding the part that I’m nervous to share with a mumble, “that I like you.”
Isaac watches my lips closely, and his eyes go wide.
Hehasto know already. Oh gosh, my heart is beating so fast now. Did I just make a huge mistake?
“Can you say that again?” His hands are shaking a little. He seems to be holding his breath.
“Never mind! Look, your fire’s still going.” I turn away, briefly hide my face.
But he reaches out and nudges for me to face him. “But I know what?”
“Um.” He’s going to make me say it again. And I do actually know all the signs to put together this sentence.
Is it too soon to tell Isaac how I feel? Is it too soon to even be having these feelings? I just don’t know. Time is warped at summer camp. Have we been here only a few days or a few weeks, really? It also feels like it’s been ages. The boundaries and barriers of everyday life don’t exist. And, heck, I even bunked in the bed above him the first week, so that brought us instantly close.
But all this won’t last forever. There’s a limited number of camp weeks. Then it’s over.
With this timeline, maybe it isn’t far-fetched for me to admit my feelings so plainly. I could wait around and hope for something to happen. Or I could say something. He probably feels the same way I do.
The game. The hug at the pool. Reaching for my hand at the drive-through. Sitting so close to each other right now.
“What?” he asks again, leaning even closer.
My hand is shaking as I draw it to my chest. “I think I...” He’s hanging on to every word. “I think I like you.”
That’s when Isaac smiles. And my heart is ready to burst.
But then he furrows his eyebrows, and his hands start flying, signing so fast I’m completely lost.
“Ah, sorry, what?” I say. “Slow, please, sorry, again.”
“We not————.”
“We not?” I immediately slide out from under the poncho and stand in the rain.
He jumps up and shakes his head, wanting to further clarify.
“D-o-n-t,” he spells.
“Don’t?”
He nods. Crap, where is this going? Why did I say anything? I’m ready to run away, but he waves for me to stay.
“We don’t really know,” he signs, gesturing from me to himself.
