Page 48 of The Trap by Catherine
Lucy sucked in a breath and held it, braced. They were standing side by side, leaning against the car.
No part of him was touching any part of her but she could feel him, feel the static charge in the few inches of clear air between his side and hers.
She had no idea what he was about to say, but when he said—
“I’m moving out.”
—she thought she’d misheard him.
“I don’t want to leave you on your own,” he said, “but I can’t... I need to start moving on. Forwards.”
Her chest tightened, a ripple of panic.
“I’ve been offered a job in Amsterdam,” Chris went on. “Manager of a new Irish bar that’s opening in January. I know the owner, I used to work with him, and he knows I need... Well, he knows I could do with a fresh start. He wants me by December first, at the very latest.And I think I’m going to go.”
She said, “Oh,” because she had to say something and that was the shortest thing she could think of.
“That way, you know, you can sell the house and not have to worry about where I’m going to go.” A pause. “One less thing for you to deal with.”
“Yeah,” she said, because it was as short asoh.
Was he doing this for her, to lessen her burden? That somehow made it even worse. Because this wasn’t what she wanted. But how could she say that? What reason would she give? And wasn’t it totally unfair of her to ask her missing sister’s boyfriend to stick around a bit longer just sotwolives could be in complete limbo?
“You’re disappointed in me,” Chris said.
Lucy shook her head, because she knew if she answered that, if she said,No, I’m just disappointed, her voice would crack and then the rest of her might too, and everything that she was holding in would come flooding out.
“You should open the cafe,” he said. “I could help you. Before I go.”
“I need to sell the house first.” Her perennial excuse.
“Do you want me to put the sign back up for you?” His tone was pointed, almost mocking.
“Why?” she said, turning to glare at him. “Did it fall down?”
“Luce, come on. You can’t live like this. What if she never comes back?”
“I can’t think like that.”
“But you can’t live like this either. It’s been so long, Luce. We have to be realistic.”
“And what about Lena?”
“What about her? We don’t even know if she’s telling the truth.”
She still hadn’t told him about the extra details she knew, the ones she’d got from Jack Keane. If she did, she’d have to tell him where she’d got them.
And if they got on to the subject of Jack, she’d have to tell Chris what she was planning to do. Otherwise, there’d just be even more shouting later, after she’d done it.
But it was easier not to say anything.
Best just to get all the arguing done in one go.
“It’s not like I’m expecting her to just walk through the door, Chris,” she said. “I’m not an idiot. But I need to know.I need to know.Where she is. How she got there. Who took her there.Whyhe did. What happened that night, going all the way back to why she walked out on her friends at that bar. What was she thinking? Was she going to meet someone? Why didn’t she get on the Luas and come home? I can accept that she’ll never walk through the door, but not until I knowwhyshe won’t.”
A beat passed before Chris asked, “Why?”
“Why what?”
