Page 85 of The Burning
“When do you think they’ll be back?” Kael checked the time on his phone. “He’ll need a ride to my place, but I can text him to have Elodie drop him off there when they’re done.” He looked around the living room, his attention focusing on every little detail of his surroundings, as usual.
It was one of the things I found most fascinating about him. Instead of a single book, Kael was an entire library. The sheer amount of information he had stored in that brain of his could probably change the world if he shared it more. His intelligence made him magnetic, quick-witted, and wise. It also made him annoying and cocky and irritating at times, but not right now. Right now, he was fascinating, and mine, and we were finally alone.
Kael and I were the sun and the moon, slowly rotating around one another in the middle of my living-room floor. I hoped his mind was going to the same place that mine was.
“So, what now?” he asked me.
I shrugged, slowly stepping a little to the right as he did the same to the left. We were dancing. Our minds, our bodies. I wondered who would pounce first.
The circular thoughts were back, making me dizzy. I walked over to the window and looked to see if Elodie and Austin had left.
“They’re gone.” I breathed a sigh of relief.
I had been dying to have a moment alone with Kael since he showed up at my house. Even though I had seen him on Tuesday night, I’d missed him so much. He stepped toward me and leaned his arm on my new chair from the flea market. For the rest of my life, I’d never be able to look at that chair without thinking of him. If I were the type of girl who believed in destiny or serendipity, I would see the day at the flea market as just that. It was the day that began the road back to us for Kael and me. But we were soon going to be divided again, not by deceit or secrets, just by life and the fucked-up way the universe decided it would be.
“I’m sorry I told all of you at the same time. I wanted to tell you about the discharge alone first, I tried to call you, but you didn’t answer,” he said, lifting his other arm toward me.
I looked at the couch and coffee table for my phone. “I don’t know where I put my phone. It’s okay. I’m just glad I didn’t find out last,” I said quietly.
“Come here, Karina.” Kael’s voice drew me to him like I was being hypnotized. He wrapped his arms around me, one by one, and I looked up at him and he studied my face.
“I really am happy for you. I know how important this is,” I said with a warm smile.
“Would you come with me?”
It took me a few seconds to understand what he was asking. “Come with you to Atlanta?” I repeated slowly, separating the words with a half second between them.
He nodded. “I know you have your life here, but selfishly, I want you to come with me. I don’t want to be away from you.”
“Could you stay here?” I knew the answer, but if he could be hopefully selfish in this moment, so could I.
Kael shook his head. “I can’t. I can’t be here in this town, at this post. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to move on with my life as it is, but I can’t live here in this graveyard. I want to be with you . . . fuck, I’ve never wanted anything more in my life and I don’t know how the hell I will leave, but Karina, I have to. I hope you understand that.”
His words, carefully crafted and honest, hurt me to the bone. I wasn’t hurt byhim, but by our reality. It felt so unfair. I would never ask him to stay here, to suffer and be reminded of the hell he had been through, but I knew I couldn’t leave this place. I had many reasons, from my house to my work, to not being ready to take the risk of losing my independence for the possibility of love. Kael and I had grown together in our own little bubble, and then it had popped. Imagine how messed up things would be if I sold my house, moved to Atlanta, and we broke up again? The world was wide, too wide for me to even contemplate.
“I know your brain must be in overdrive. But you don’t need to worry about any of this right now, especially not today.” Kael brought his hand up to touch my cheek.
The rough calluses on his palms brushed against my skin and I let out a sigh of relief, even though there was no resolution.
I knew that nothing would change today, but it wasn’t easy to forget everything that would be taken away from us. I was genuinely beyond happy for Kael to be released from this place that was like a prison to him, no matter how it would affect me. I’d choose his peace and freedom over my own needs any day, even if that meant breaking my own heart. The expiration date for us was approaching right at the time when everything felt so perfect—too perfect. With each passing second, we had less and less time together. The comfort and healing in my life—that he had made possible—would be gone. Long distance was the only viable plan, but hardly a solution since that rarely ever worked in the end. My head began to ache; a high-speed train of worries plowed through my brain.
Kael’s hands were shaking a bit when he brought them up to the base of my ears. He cupped them over both and kissed my forehead. My shoulders dropped.
“Shhhhh,” he whispered against my forehead before pressing his lips against my skin.
It worked like magic. Like noise-canceling headphones. My mind had gone from running through a screaming stream of increasingly worse possible scenarios to complete and full silence. I closed my eyes, gripping the starchy material of his uniform covering his arms. I held on to him, and he kept my ears covered as he dipped his head down, bending to line his eyes up with mine. I pulled at his uniform and kissed him hard. His mouth was warm and tasted like lingering coffee with a hint of sadness. I opened my mouth farther, more desperately. His hands went to my hips and he squeezed them, our bodies pressed against the side of the hard chair.
Kael’s hands pushed the thin fabric of my pajama shorts up on the sides and he massaged the thick pockets of flesh between my hips and thighs. I moaned as he unlocked the part of me that was touch-deprived, salacious, and melting into him. He hitched one of my legs onto the arm of the chair, spreading me open, and slid his fingers across me. I was already soaking through the fabric and the moment he touched me, I ripped at his uniform jacket, pushing it down his arms and onto the floor. His tan T-shirt was still on, but the definition of his body was easily seen under it. I lifted it up over his head as fast as I could. His touch immediately found me again, this time he slid a finger inside, slowly pumping, then adding another. I held on to his back, my nails digging into his beautiful skin. I was frenzied, adrenaline pumping through me, but Kael was moving slowly, tenderly kissing and licking my neck, breathing my name into my ear, making goose bumps cover my entire body. His fingers were moving slowly, teasingly, and it just made me need him more. Gently, he moved me to the front of the chair and sat me down, his skillful touch staying between my legs as he used one hand to pull my shorts and panties down one leg without fail. I could feel my body building to bliss as he dipped his head down, gripped both sides of my ass and pressed his warm tongue against me. I tried to grip his shoulders, but my mind and body were out of control. I clawed the sides of the chair, saying his name as I came, his tongue swirling and swirling. I thought I might pass out from the pleasure as my back rose, my legs stiffened, and waves crashed over me as his lips sucked my already throbbing clit. I was so sensitive but didn’t want him to stop. I needed more. He was so composed as he lifted his head up, slowly circling me still, his lips glistening under the light. God, he was so beautiful.
“Happy birthday, Karina,” he said, kissing the inside of my thighs as I slowly came back to a much more blissful reality than I had been in when he first arrived.
“I love you,” I told him between breaths. His eyes caught mine and I could tell they were full of surprise. For two people who felt so intensely for one another, we didn’t say the words as often as we felt them. I knew how he felt, and he knew how I felt, and that’s what mattered.
Kael rose to his knees, and I wrapped my thighs around his back, pulling him closer to me. He kissed my cheeks, both sides, and my lips. I could taste myself on him as he spoke into my open mouth.
“I love you, more than anything.” His words were simple, but I felt my eyes stinging as he kissed me again. The ache in my heart was healed . . . for now.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
