Page 77 of The Burning
Our father looked as if Austin’s words had truly wounded him.
“That’s hardly your tune when you call me for money, drunk off your ass, or when you begged me to let you come back here to Benning!” My dad’s voice was getting louder.
“You sent me to live with your loser brother and barely spoke to me the whole time I was gone!” said Austin. “Through high school, you only gave a fuck about me when it was useful to you. If I had turned out to be the football star you dreamed of, I bet you wouldn’t have shipped me off. You can deny it all you want, but you’ve always been a shitty father and you always will be. I’m tired of pretending otherwise, and so is Karina, who you stomp all over, even worse than me. She just puts up with it.” His voice matched my dad’s in volume now.
I didn’t know if I was glad my brother was standing up for me or if I was offended by him basically calling me a doormat for our father, but a spade is a spade.
Dad grabbed Austin’s arm with swiftness and I couldn’t keep Kael down any longer. He rushed between them, something I was growing used to seeing him do, placing himself into conflict between others—often my brother.
“Calm down, both of you. You need to calm down. Fischer, let’s take a walk,” Kael insisted in a stern voice.
I expected my dad to scream at Kael, push him, maybe even punch him. But he didn’t; he seemed to slowly control his rage as Kael stood there to challenge him, right in his face. This was Martin, the soldier that my father knew and hated. It was mutual.
“Thank you for your concern, Sergeant Martin. But this has nothing to do with you. Stay out of my family’s business. I’m not sure why you’re even here in my house,” he said, seething.
“Your family’s business involves me, unfortunately, so I won’t be staying out of it.” Kael’s voice was steady, and he sounded more like Sergeant Martin than I had ever heard him.
“And just how does my family’s business concern you?” my dad shot back, his temper surging to the level it had been with Austin.
“You know why.” Kael kept a flat tone that I knew was meant to provoke my father, to drive him further out of control.
“No, I don’t think I do.” My dad took a final step to Kael—any closer and his nose would be against Kael’s chest.
“This isn’t the time and place to get into all of it. But your family is my business.” Kael turned a little and pointed to the birthday cake and burnt-out candles lying on the table with blackened ends. “Your son has become like a brother to me, and you should know better than anyone that enlisting is going to ensure his future, and that’s why I helped him out.”
My father scoffed. “His future? Like yours? I saw your medical discharge paperwork, Martin. Do you know how hard it’s going to be to get a job out in the real world? You’re still a kid with a disability, not to a mention a PTSD diagnosis.” My father’s grimace turned into a smile as he continued, “I guess we’ll see you at Home Depot stocking shelves . . . if you’re lucky.”
Kael kept his face neutral. I had no idea how. I wanted to scream, to flip the decorated dining table over and break every single dish in the house.
“You have no idea what I’m capable of.” The threat was clear in Kael’s voice as my father physically stumbled backward a few steps before turning his attention to Austin.
My dad pointed his finger at Austin, who was panting, standing a few feet away from Kael and my father. “You went to him instead of me? I’ve been in the Army longer than any of you have been alive. And you?” he snarled at me. “Did you know? Were all of you in this together?”
I was frozen and before I could thaw, Kael spoke for me. “She didn’t know. Stop directing your anger at the wrong people, especially your daughter.”
My dad’s focus went to Kael, then to me, and back to Kael. “I told you to stay the hell out of it. Just because you befriended my son doesn’t give you the agency to—”
“And I love your daughter. I love her and there’s nothing and no one on this planet who’s going to get in the way of that.”
My dad’s beady eyes blinked so fast I couldn’t keep up. I looked at Kael, declaring his love for me in such an honest and bold way, and my heart leaped. I felt like the room was spinning and everyone except Kael and I had disappeared. I didn’t care what my dad or Estelle thought, only what Kael did, andhe loved me.
“Love?” my dad scoffed. “You’re skipping town as soon as your paperwork goes through. Karina knows that. Both of you are foolish children who—”
I stood up, ready to go head-to-head with our dad when Austin pushed his way back to him. “Enough! Fuck, that’s enough!” my brother shouted. “It’s already done, and I don’t need your fucking approval. We may all be kids to you, but our lives aren’t yours to decide. Both of us fucking hate you.”
Expressionless, our father tried to reach for Austin, but gave up as Austin backed away, bumping into the display cabinet and knocking over the nostalgic trinkets on the glass shelves.
“Do you even know what this means? Did you even think this through?” our dad roared. “Do you know how many enemies our last name has?Huh?”
The room rocked with the words from his mouth.
Enemies?
I thought about the doctor who’d asked my brother if he was our dad’s son. I thought about all the people involved in the incident in Afghanistan and how many people wanted to see my father’s downfall. It chilled me to the bone thinking about how many more skeletons were hiding in my father’s walk-in closet.
“Youmight have enemies, but I don’t. I did this for myself. Not you, not Karina, no one except my fucking self.” Austin snatched his beer, drank the last sip, and looked at Kael. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
Austin grabbed Elodie’s wrapped cherry pie from the table and stomped through the dining room as everyone except Kael stood stunned, unsure of what to do or say. He looked at me with worry clear across his face.
