Page 62 of The Burning
Karina shook her head. That was all I was going to get, but that was fine with me because I knew exactly what she meant even if she would never say it.
“So, where should I pee? I’m dying here. I waited way too long and have been drinking . . .”
I pointed to the closest spot hidden in the trees.
Her mouth fell open. “In there?”
I nodded.
“But it’s dark. Like dark-dark.”
“There’s no one in there. Plus, I’m right here. I’ll keep an eye out. You’ll be okay.”
The fear slipped from her face, and she nodded slowly, considering her options. I knew Gunner and Turner were absolutely fucking in that bathroom and I knew Karina did not want to see or hear that.
“Ugh. Fine, but make sure you don’t let anyone come over there. And if I’m not back in five minutes, I got eaten by a bear.”
We both laughed as I assured her that I would avenge her death if a bear ate her.
“Just call my name if you need help, and here—” I handed her a proper flashlight and a roll of paper towel. She put the blanket on the bed of my open truck.
“Wow. You’ve come prepared.”
I agreed. “I mean after years sleeping in the woods, the desert, you name it, I know what to bring.”
“Thank you, Kael.”
She smiled at me and I felt my chest ache. Maybe she was starting to hate me less? Or was she just in a good mood because of the alcohol and environment? Whatever it was, I would take it. I watched her as she walked past my truck and into the beginning of the line of trees.
“Be careful, Karina,” I called out to her, and she lifted the flashlight below her face and beamed at me again. For the next few minutes, I would pretend that our relationship wasn’t destroyed and that she loved me the way I loved her, even if she would never know.
Chapter Twenty-Six
The moment the flashlight came back on, I heard Karina cussing at the sticks and debris breaking under her shoes. She wasn’t dressed to go camping, but that was hardly a surprise: she was chronically unprepared. With my back against a thick tree, I waited for her to come out of the woods.
“Everything good?” I asked in a quiet voice, trying not to surprise her as she emerged from the tree-covered darkness.
“Yeah. I mean as good as it gets peeing in the pitch-black woods,” she groaned as she stepped closer and approached me.
Grabbing on to the blanket that was slipping down, she lifted it up to cover her shoulders. I leaned forward to help her as she tilted her face upward, looking directly into my eyes. I shivered, though my body felt warm. The soft light from the back of my truck cast a shadow across her cheekbones. She didn’t look away; she just kept her focus directly on me. I wondered which one of us would look away first. Even the darkness didn’t dilute the intensity. It felt like months since I’d had her attention like this, solely fixated on me and only me. She looked like she wanted to say something, and God I hoped she would. I didn’t trust whatever the hell would slip out of my mouth right now.
“I—” she whispered, and her tongue dipped down to coat her lips.
Her eyes moved to my mouth, and I couldn’t stop myself from assuming her mind was going to the same place mine was. The way she tasted, the warmth of her tongue, and the way she kissed. It was always this way with her; she was so tempting without even realizing it. I wanted to kiss her again, to press my lips against hers. I wished I had known that the last time I kissed her would be the last time. There wasn’t so much as an inkling of finality then. Now that the strings had been untied and our relationship had unraveled, I found myself still captivated by her. Karina had a way of putting me in a trance. It was something I had never experienced in my lifetime, and I had been through a lot.
“You what?” I finally asked after a couple more seconds of silence, trying my damnest to be in the present and to stop fantasizing about the past.
She broke eye contact. “I-I don’t know,” she admitted with a shrug. “I feel like I’m not mad at you right now and I’m trying to figure out why that is. It’s confusing me. Like, I should be so pissed, I shouldn’t want to be around you, and especially not alone and thinking . . .” She paused and stared at the ground. “What am I even saying?”
I studied her. “I don’t know, what are you saying, Karina?”
With hesitation, she exhaled the night air. “I-I just . . . I missed you, I guess.” She looked toward the trees. “And since I don’t want to be stupid and say anything I’ll regret, I’m going to go back to the group now, have another drink, and try to forget what I just said. Can you do the same?”
I shook my head. “Not a chance.”
“Kael.” She sighed.
“Karina.” I gently touched her elbow over the blanket. “This might be the last time we’re together like this and I’d much rather those be your last words to me than what you said earlier.”
