Page 67 of The Burning
I leaned in to see her face. She had stopped crying and seemed to have slipped into the trance that only a massage can bring. It was one of my favorite things about my work, seeing the transformation in my clients’ faces when their brows relaxed, their jaws unclenched, their breathing slowed.
“Never,” she replied, her voice nearly lost over the faint crackling of the wood in the fire. It was nearly out, and everyone had disappeared into their tents. I wondered where Elodie had gone, and if she had set up a tent for the two of us, but wanted to focus on Gloria, who had helped me settle in and needed someone right now.
“You’ve never had a massage?”
She shook her head, and I moved my hands down to her shoulder blades, finding the tight knots and rolling my thumbs over them, pushing upward. “I can’t afford massages. I can barely afford groceries most months.”
I immediately felt like crap for asking such a ridiculous question. As if a mother of three on an Army salary could afford the luxury of treating herself to a massage regularly. I knew better, but hated the reality and wished that health insurance covered natural body treatments as freely as they handed out addictive narcotics.
“Little Manny wants to play soccer next year and I don’t know how we’re going to afford it. It’s not even like I can work; childcare is impossibly expensive. It’s fucked up, but that’s life. We’ll make it work. We always do.”
It made me sick to my stomach that her family had sacrificed so much and still she had to worry about paying for her son to play a sport. It was wrong and made me enraged for her, for the hundreds of thousands of families who barely got by. Growing up, I had been so spoiled once my dad became an officer; his big house and steady paycheck felt like a million dollars to my mom and me and Austin, but the reality for most enlisted soldiers was very different from an officer’s family.
“I’m sorry for asking such a stupid question.”
Anxiety bubbled in my chest, heavy with guilt. Gloria waved her hands and reached up to touch my hand on her shoulder. Her hands were warm now.
“Don’t worry about it. The free massage is making up for it.”
I could hear the smile in her voice.
“You can come to see me at work anytime and I’ll treat you. I know from Kael that you don’t often have a sitter, but if you do, I’d love to give you a free massage, really. You need it and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
She turned her body around to face me and I couldn’t read her expression.
“I haven’t done anything for you. I see why Martin is so in love with you,” she said with a laugh. “But you shouldn’t be too quick to do things for people who are kind in the moment. It stresses me out thinking about how badly people will take advantage of you.”
Her advice was a bit harsh. My eyes stung a bit, but she did have a point. I wasn’t used to people being so blunt and outside of Elodie, I barely had anyone looking out for me. With the exception of Kael.
“Take advantage of me, do you mean like Kael did?” I asked Gloria directly, trying to match her confidence and straightforwardness. I wanted to know how much she knew about our situation, or whatever the hell we were. My cheeks burned wondering what she would think about me hooking up with him less than an hour ago.
She shook her head. “Nah, not Martin. He can be a fucking idiot, but he loves you. I know you’re probably worried as hell about your brother, but . . .” She paused and licked her lips, and I tried to catch my breath. “I’m sorry to say this, but sometimes people need the help and structure of the military to get their shit together. I love your brother, too, and I know it’s scary, Karina, but he will make a good soldier.”
Her words burned in my chest, but soothed my mind at the same time. I didn’t ask for her opinion and I didn’t expect her to know that I was pissed at Kael for helping my brother sign his life away. It was strange how everyone else seemed to be on the same page about my brother enlisting. Did they all know him better than I did?
I barely had the bandwidth to process her thoughts about Austin, let alone the fact that she thought Kael loved me. Did he tell her that? Before I could ask her, Kael and Mendoza approached us.
“There you two are.” Mendoza’s voice sounded like a car that was out of gas.
His fiery rage from earlier had completely disappeared and he looked almost sheepish. He smiled as they got closer. Kael’s expression was neutral as if they had just gone for a causal walk. He was limping slightly as he patted Mendoza’s back. I thought about the pile of branches Mendoza had shoved him into and wanted to slap Mendoza for possibly hurting Kael; even if he was back to himself now, it made me see red.
Gloria stood up and her husband wrapped both of his arms around her body. “I’m sorry, baby. Are you okay?” he asked, his face buried in her thick hair.
She pushed at him, but not with enough strength to budge him. “You fucking asshole. I told you to stop hitting people.”
“I know. I know.” Mendoza squeezed a giggle out of Gloria as he lifted her off her feet. When he put her down, she was looking at him like he hung the moon, and he was looking at her like she was every star in the sky. I even started to forgive Mendoza because of the way he was with his wife, so openly and completely in love. They seemed to forget they weren’t alone, or maybe they didn’t care.
“Let’s go to bed. Straight to the tent. If you so much as look at Warren or anyone else, I’ll bury you in these woods,” Gloria threatened.
“Good night, you two,” the Mendozas called back to us as they made their way to their tent, hand in hand.
I didn’t know how on earth she had gotten used to the chaos. I found it so unsettling, but as Kael’s soft eyes met mine, I decided that being around him, even in the midst of all this, would be worth it. Once again, I was in awe of the way he handled everyone, and since he was always looking out for other people, he needed someone to look after him. That someone should be me.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Kael’s truck was more than comfortable. Between the heaters, the pile of blankets, and the warmth of his arms around me, I slept like a baby. When the sun came up, I was surprised that I didn’t wake up one single time the entire night. I was so comfortable lying on my side in the crook of his shoulder. His arm gently brushed my skin under the T-shirt of his I ended up sleeping in. He was awake when I opened my eyes, but both of us stayed quiet, enjoying the early-morning silence. Kael’s other hand stroked my hair, and I hugged his body tighter. I’d missed waking up with him more than words could explain.
Eventually the group woke up and voices got louder. I heard the clanging of what sounded like pots and pans and could smell the fire, then food. The smell of bacon always reminded me of Saturday mornings when my mom was in a good place. She would wake up early, start a pot of coffee, and blast music through the kitchen as she made a complete and utter mess everywhere, from the counter to the sink to the floor. Her attempts at making shapes out of pancakes always failed, but everyone knew that ugly pancakes tasted the best—at least, that’s what Austin and I told her.
