Page 63 of The Burning
I assumed for a moment that she was as lost in thought as I was, but her eye roll said otherwise.
“You’re seriously still annoyed about what I said in the truck? I was just speaking the truth. We technically didn’t date.”
“We spent every moment that we could together, we shared parts of ourselves that we hadn’t before . . . what exactly is ‘dating’ to you, Karina, if that’s not it?”
“But you never asked me to be your girlfriend. technically,” she insisted.
I lifted my body up to sit in the bed of my truck. My sneakered feet dangled above the ground. “Do people still do that? Ask someone to be their girlfriend or boyfriend?”
She looked uncertain, like I had caught her in a trap. She knew she was being petty, but I could tell by her body language and from our history that she was going to stick to her guns on this, even if it was immature and ridiculous. I wasalsobeing immature and ridiculous in hopes of having just a little more of her time and attention. This time with Karina was feeding something in me that I hadn’t realized was starving.
“Some people do. Romantic ones, anyway. Plus, if we were dating, it would have been worse that you lied to me. You realize that, right?”
There it was. I knew it was coming. “Yeah.” I couldn’t disagree with her. She was right and I wasn’t going to gaslight her or try to manipulate the truth.
“Good,” she huffed, crossing her arms under the tan wool blanket. “At least you know.”
I sat and she stood in silence for a few moments. She hadn’t run off yet, which was all I could ask for. I knew there was nothing I could do to change what had happened, but fuck, the possibility of this weekend really being the last time we would spend time together, even if I hadn’t expected her to speak to me, was the only reason I’d agreed to come on this nightmare of a trip in the first place.
“Can you do me a favor? One I don’t deserve, but for the sake of potential regret haunting both of us . . .”
Her face was pinched with skepticism, but her silence encouraged me to keep talking.
“Would it be possible for us to try to pretend that the last few weeks didn’t happen? Like I’m not the person who fucked you over? If you say no, I get it, but—”
“Let me guess . . .it’s the last time we will see each other?” she said in a deepened tone that I guessed was supposed to be mocking mine.
I nodded.
“You know what? Let’s do that.”
Her agreement shocked me. I wanted to be sure she actually meant it. “Really?”
“Yeah, really. Mostly because I really can’t stand any more tension or drama or stress. And I’m already stressed enough being here and not knowing anyone. I don’t want to hold on to my anger. I can feel it sitting there, inside of me, and I really, really can’t handle it right now. I’m still not okay with what happened, and I willneverunderstand why my brother did what he did, or why you went along with it, but I’ve decided that since it’s done and I can’t fix it or change it, I’m going to have to accept it. I’ll never forgive you, but I can pretend to for the next forty-eight hours.”
Processing her words, the amount ofnevers she used stuck to me, but I needed to take what she was offering, and she was right; she would never understand why I did what I did, even though it was for her. I had resigned myself to being the villain and in a plot twist, I was now getting a free pass for forty-eight hours. It felt too good to be true, but I’d take it. Even a few hours would suffice, and the time was ticking for us, for me.
“Deal, then?” I reached my hand out for her to shake.
Her hand slid out of the opening of the blanket wrapped around her.
“Deal.”
Karina lifted her body onto the back of my truck and sat next to me. As she surveyed the inside, seats down and covered with blankets, her eyes went wide.
“Whoa, you’ve got everything here.” She picked up my charging port and turned it around in her hands.
It was a thick black-and-orange box with a charge that lasted for days.
“This looks intense.” She put it down and I watched her glance from the outlet to my laptop and to the white screen hung up against the window. “Is that a projector screen?” she asked, her voice like she had just found a pile of diamonds.
I nodded. “Didn’t want to be bored out here.”
“This isn’t the same truck I rode here in . . . it looks like the setup for a date. The lights, the screen . . .” There was a sarcastic tone to her voice that was almost an accusation.
“Nah, no way. Who would I be dating out here, anyway?” I had to ask.
Karina’s nose scrunched up and I knew she didn’t want to admit even an ounce of the jealousy she was clearly feeling.
