Page 58 of The Burning
Karina handed me her ID as we pulled up to the main gate of Benning, which was the one closest to Turner’s barracks. She didn’t say anything, but I heard her sigh as she slid the card into my palm.
The moment I pulled up to Turner’s barracks, Karina got out of the front seat and moved to the back before I could even ask why. I could tell she didn’t like Turner, and this whole driving-them-both thing had been really bad judgment on my part. Now that Karina was sitting in the back of my truck on our way to a three-day camping trip, there would be no escaping her or how badly I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to ask her how work has been, how she’s been, if she’s been going to her dad’s house, why she dyed her hair again . . .
Even if she got on my nerves like no one ever had, I couldn’t help that she made me feel alive, and interested in something—someone—for the first time since I’d left the battlefield.
Turner waved as we pulled up, bouncing down the grass and pavement and approaching the truck. I could tell she was also surprised to see Karina in my backseat, but even so, she smiled brightly at both of us.
“I’m so glad there are more women going on this trip,” Turner said to Karina as she threw her camo duffel into my trunk. I stayed seated, not wanting Karina to get the wrong idea if I helped Turner with her bag the same way I’d helped her. Karina smiled, nodding to be polite.
The music was interrupted again by the sound of Turner’s phone ringing. I regretted giving her control over the music instantly, but her phone ringing every few minutes when I was already on edge was not helping. Karina was staring out the window, lost in the maze that was her brain. I wondered if she was upset that I’d let Turner play DJ, but in my mind, she had no right to be since I’d asked her first and she’d said no. We must have been twenty minutes into the drive—four or five songs along in a playlist from the early 2000s. As Turner sang along to “Irreplaceable” by Beyoncé, Karina continued her silent streak. I wished I could go back to two hours ago when Gloria called me to ask if I could drive the two women. I should have found Turner another ride.
I knew if it were just me and Karina in the car, she wouldn’t have been able to keep herself from talking and I’d much rather be listening to her voice than Turner’s off-key singing into a nearly empty water bottle. Turner was dressed in a tight shirt that hung just above her waist, showing off the honey skin on her stomach and even tighter jeans with holes cut all over them. If it weren’t for the thick flannel over her, she would freeze during the night. Outside of work she liked to dress as feminine as she could since she spent over half her time in a baggy uniform.
I tried to just focus on the empty highway ahead of me, but Turner’s voice and phone ringing kept distracting me in an irritating way.
“You can answer that if you need to,” I finally told her after the third time the same name popped up on my dashboard screen.
“Nah. He’ll just think I want him more. You know how men can be when they’re not ready to give up. Or do you think me ignoring him will just encourage him?” she said with a sigh.
“Actually, I have no idea, really,” I replied after she stared at me expectantly.
“Right, because it’s always you who is getting chased.” She pointed a finger at me and shook her head.
Her hoop earrings dangled. Turner’s cropped black shirt was so low-cut that her bra was peeking out on both sides, and I could feel how uncomfortable her tight jeans must have been just by looking at them. Her shoes were black and had some kind of metal balls on them, while Karina’s dirty white Air Forces and baggy jeans made much more sense. They were quite the contrast to one another. Karina’s hair was now in one of those clip things that looked like teeth and she wore a simple, long-sleeved shirt. I couldn’t help but notice that the cotton of Karina’s shirt was rather see-through and I didn’t like the idea of the men at the campground being able to see the outline of her body, her bra, the deep curves of her waist. I knew they would all look and I couldn’t blame them, even though it made me want to strangle them before it even happened.
Why was I even comparing them?
“I’m bored. Tell me about your most recent ex?” Turner asked me from the passenger seat.
“Mine?” Nervously, I looked in the rearview to see Karina’s reaction, but her face was set in stone. She met my eyes for the tiniest of a second, and then looked out the window again. It annoyed me that she was sitting in the back, but she made it clear she didn’t want to ride shotgun by the way she yanked open the back-door handle of my truck before we fully decided who would sit where.
“Yeah. Well, yours, too.” She nodded toward Karina. “Dating these days is so freaking hard, you know? No pressure if you don’t wanna tell me, though.” She turned her body to Karina as she spoke.
I was going to tell Turner to leave Karina alone, that she wasn’t the kind of person who wanted to share her personal life with a random girl she barely knew or liked, but before I could, Karina’s brows raised and she shifted in her seat.
“Actually, I’m fine sharing.” I was surprised by her response, but certainly ready to hear it. I arrogantly assumed she would talk about me, especially since Turner had run into us more than once now, so I was pretty shocked when she said the name Brien. I unplugged Turner’s phone from my cord to turn the music off.Yankedwould be a more accurate description.
“We dated on and off for a little bit. We weren’t as serious as I thought we were and, looking back, it was such a juvenile relationship that it’s almost embarrassing.” She laughed. A soft and sarcastic one, but she laughed.
Turner was smiling warmly, clearly very interested in Karina’s love life. “When did y’all break up? Did you end it or him?”
Karina’s expression in the mirror told me that she already regretted engaging in “girl talk” with Turner. Since Turner didn’t know her well enough to tell, she believed Karina’s faux-interested smile. Her voice was soft and thoughtful.
“Hmm. I broke up with him the last time. He cheated on me, and I still dated him after that, more like hooking up, I guess. But eventually I realized there wasn’t a single thing about him that I actually enjoyed. I created a person in my head who I wanted him to be, but it became too unrealistic of an expectation and eventually I had to stop. That’s a bad habit of mine, creating good personas for people who don’t deserve it.”
That felt like a blow specifically for me, and Karina talking about hooking up with someone, especially that shitbag Brien, made me want to drive my truck off the side off the road.
“Wow. Yeah, I know what you mean by being attracted to theideaof someone. This guy, Reed, the one who keeps calling is my most recent ex and God, he’s in victim mode right now, but he did the opposite of your situation and just pretended to be whoever he thought I wanted him to be, while he was actively on Tinder and in many girls’ DMs on Insta and Facebook.”
Turner talked so fast that it was a bit hard to keep up with her, but Karina had leaned up closer to the front seats and seemed to genuinely enjoy the venting session.
“But the lies became too much, and I couldn’t stand it. I wouldn’t have been that pissed if he had told me he didn’t want to be exclusive. Ifuckinghate liars more than anything. Like, how hard is it to be honest? Of course, now I’m the bad guy, even though he’s the one who lied over and over. Lying is just something I can’t forgive, and I can forgive a lot.”
If I heard the wordlieone more time, I would jump out of the moving truck.
Karina made a noise and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it’s hard when you trust someone. Not to mention the loneliness you feel after getting used to the comfort of that person.”
“I can promise you I’ll never do that again. Being alone is one million percent better than being lied to and cheated on,” Turner said, rolling her eyes.
