Page 53 of The Burning
“He’s a good man, Karina. You’re not thinking clearly and he’s too stubborn. Both of you are.”
I got really defensive, really fast. “He doesn’t give a shit about me, okay? So no, he hasn’t called or texted or come by and he’s not going to.”
Her face turned sad. “I’m sure that’s not why he—”
“Elodie, look, we are friends. You’re maybe my closest friend, but I don’t want to talk about Kael. Not with you, not with anyone. How many times do I have to tell you this?”
I could talk about some stuff with Elodie, sure. Some personal shit about my dad. Sometimes little things about my mom.Whateverabout my brother. But the idea of her, or anyone, knowing every part of my life made me want to vomit. I didn’t like people knowing my weaknesses, and I didn’t like Elodie reminding me of Kael or smiling and giving me false hope while asking about him.
“I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to get over it if I keep talking about it,” I told her.
Her face was full of concern for me. It was a confusing experience, the way the tables felt like they were turning; normally it was I who worried about her, not the other way around.
“Who do you talk to, then? Because you just stay alone in this house and you don’t talk to anyone. You need to make an online dating profile. Or at least use Instagram more.”
“I talk to people . . .”
In truth, I didn’t have anyone I wanted tobotheror trust with my problems.
“Who?” She smiled, softly testing me.
I sat down on the couch, leaving the middle cushion open between us. “Who cares? Also, I’m not dating on an app or on Instagram.”
She rolled her eyes. “Instagram is an app.”
“Shh.” I waved my hand in the air.
I knew I had to meet her in the middle; with her being overly emotional and me wanting to bury my feelings, I had to find the balance. I did it with my mom a lot, and with most people, except Kael, whose name was gaining way too much power in my house right now.
“I’m notconcernedreally . . .” Elodie paused and looked around the room, to the painted wall, to the new chair. Then she looked me up and down. “But you’re redoing the house and your hair and style . . .”
“Yeah?And? You’rehaving a baby with a man you barely know. Things are changing everywhere.” As soon as the words came out, I bit my tongue. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
Elodie, on top of being the most gentle person I’d ever met, was also the most understanding. She just nodded and moved on, despite my awful words to her just seconds ago.
“I just want you to be happy, okay?”
“I am happy. I got two new clients this week and I have purple nails and fresh hair, and that chair. I’m good.” I pointed to my favorite item in my house, but even that had the memory of Kael embroidered on it.
“Purple nails? Now you’re reaching.” She looked at her phone and laughed. “You should date online. Toni asked me if you’re on Tinder.”
“Why is Toni talking about my dating life? I don’t even know her.” I lifted my body a little to sit on my knees on the couch.
Elodie acted offended. “It came up. Someone asked if you were single. She was actually complimenting you. Chill out.”
“Youchill,” was the only thing I could say.
Stupid. But I was defending myself. She was the one talking about me with her lame-ass friends.
She shrugged her slender shoulders. “I’m chill. I’m just checking on you.” She didn’t seem pissed; her response was calm, if forward as hell.
“Well, I’m fine, okay? You and Toni don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine. Can she go back to planning baby showers and cookouts and whatever bullshit she does all day? I don’t like the idea of you and Kael and Toni and God knows who else just sitting around talking about my life, okay?”
Elodie’s smile went away. “You’re being way too judgmental about them. You know, she told me she invited you to the baby shower on Facebook and you didn’t even open her message.”
“Facebook? I don’t even check my messages on Facebook, Elodie.” I threw my hands up and let them drop at my sides. “What the hell is happening with the world that Facebook is the only way to send baby shower invites and Instagram is used to meet men?”
It wasn’t Elodie’s fault that she saw the good in everyone, even me. She was smiling again. We rarely argued. In fact, I could hardly remember ever even getting annoyed with her. She was one of the very few people I felt that way about.
