Page 24 of The Burning
“He was deployed with all of them on the last one to Afghanistan—in Dad’s platoon and he just got back. I heard Nielson went AWOL. Just disappeared one day and months later they found him in a village living amongst the people. And when they tried to take him back, he said he didn’t want to come. I heard he’d lost it completely and had even fallen in love with a local woman. After they found him, they locked him up for a few days, and then suddenly he was out, roaming the streets, which never happens, especially when someone goes AWOL and starts living with the so-called enemy. With smaller things, like drugs, sometimes you get shipped to rehab, sometimes you get kicked out with a dishonorable discharge slapped on you. But what Nielson did was so much worse. Something just doesn’t add up.”
Austin paused and looked at me, “I also heard—I don’t know if it’s true or not, but the village he was in, along with the woman he was in love with, was completely destroyed.” My brother’s voice melted into sympathy. “I think he blames Dad for all of this, and now he’s back at Benning, but his mind seems to be gone. I’ve heard all kinds of off-the-wall things about Nielson since he got back. He started seeing Katie, and when she broke up with him and went out with me, it sent Nielson over the edge.”
My mouth was dry and my body felt like I had been carrying a backpack of stones. How did my life go from the most boring existence possible to this web of drama and secrets that I couldn’t keep up with?
I glanced across the street, hoping my job would still be there when I finally arrived. I should have just called off work and dealt with the consequences later. I couldn’t imagine being able to focus on my clients right now with all of this going on.
“So, a man who has it out for you and Dad after being locked up for going AWOL is roaming around and showing up at my work? Does Dad know about any of this?”
Austin rubbed his eyes. “It’s a lot to explain.”
“Well, Iwantthe explanation.”
“Don’t you have to go?”
Austin tilted his head back and raised his hands in the air again before I could begin to go off on him. As usual, he opened the show, but wasn’t able to close the curtain at the end.
“We can talk about everything later,” he said. “Go to work, I need to sleep or I’m going to pass out standing here. I’ll lock the door so your paranoid ass isn’t worried about it your whole shift.”
I nodded, even though I was far from finished with this conversation. As I crossed the street, I texted Elodie and told her I was heading to work in case she needed anything. During the brief walk to the shop, I thought about Kael again. Was he aware of any of this? In a fucked-up way, the idea of having him here to help, or hell, even to stop what was going on, made me feel more safe. But the reality, apart from my brother, was that he was already dissociating himself from my life. He barely seemed to notice me today and he was cold as ice.
Maybe he didn’t want to cause a scene? Or maybe he didn’t know what to say, or was too consumed by Mendoza’s shit. Or maybe he just didn’t care after all. It’s not like he was the first or second, or even third, person who’d tossed me to the side. The more frustrating part was not knowing when I would get used to it.
Chapter Twelve
Work had flown by even though I’d stayed an extra two hours to make up for how late I was that afternoon. Mali had barely said a world to me, and the evening had been slow with no walk-ins and only one of my regular clients, Lisa, who spent the whole time talking about the laser hair removal she was getting next week. I listened to every word like it was the Bible so I could keep my mind distracted. It was ironic and funny in a fucked-up kinda way, just how different people’s problems could be. I would kill to trade places with Lisa for one day. I’d love to worry about how my skin would handle thousands of dollars of laser hair removal, instead of worrying about how I was going to pay my electricity or fill my gas tank this week.
When I got back to my place after work, my neighbor Bradley was tying a bundle of wooden boards together in the bed of his truck. Ever friendly, he warned me it was going to rain again that night and the next morning. I thanked him and kept walking as Kael slipped back into my mind. The sound of his tires peeling out on the road as he drove away from me as I knelt on the wet grass, almost like I was praying for something, anything to take the pain away. It felt crushing then and still did.
Austin . . . Kael . . . Mendoza . . . now this Nielson guy. All of it gave me a headache. I missed the simplicity of my life before I met Kael. I hated that I missed him. When I got home, the house was eerily quiet. Austin had neatly folded up the blanket he’d slept with and left a half-rinsed-out bowl of cereal in the sink, colorful Froot Loops floating on top of the murky milk-water mixture. I checked my phone to see if he’d said anything about where he was going, even though I knew he was going to Kael’s.
I wiped down the kitchen counter and sink, finally finishing the dishes I’d started washing that morning. The silence of my little house was deafening. I tried to hum a song, but the melody kept getting lost in my throat. Kael’s deep, smooth-as-butter voice rang through my head on an endless loop. So I turned on music, then took a shower. Even my shower was tainted by memories of him.
Why the hell did I let him get so close to me so fast?
I tried to figure out the answer to that question while I towel-dried my body. The lotion on my palms reminded me of when he said my skin smelled like honey and licked his tongue down my bare shoulder.
I distracted myself from the memory by finishing the laundry. My hair was almost dry by the time I was done folding my clothes and putting the sheets back on my bed. And I was still thinking about Kael . . . how good he looked earlier. Not that it freaking mattered, but he’d looked better than ever. Though he hadn’t been smiling, there seemed to be less weight on his broad shoulders. Maybe that weight from before had been caused by me?
Reality TV was a great distraction; I lay on the couch and turned on HGTV to watch Chip and Joanna Gaines turn a tiny dump of a house into a beautiful home. I rolled my eyes with envy when the big reveal came, and the husband picked his wife up off her feet and twirled her in the air in their brand-new kitchen.
Fuck them and their perfect life, and even better kitchen.
Elodie came through the door right as I skipped ahead to a new episode.
“I love this show. Oh, it just started!” she said, pointing at the screen.
Elodie sat down on the couch and kicked her shoes off. The color was back in her cheeks, and she had a bag with leftover takeout, so I assumed she’d eaten. I was relieved she was finally home.
“How are you feeling?” I asked her while a commercial for a sweepstakes played. One day I would pay for streaming without ads.
“Better. A lot better. I’m sorry for earlier. I’m sure Mali was pissed at you for being late.” She winced.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about Mali. We were slow, anyway. I’m so glad you and the baby are okay.” I leaned against her knees, and she raised her small hand to pet my head, twirling strands of my hair between your fingers. Involuntarily my eyes began to sting. Tiny intimate gestures were not something I received often.
“Me, too.” Elodie’s voice had a hint of sadness in it. I looked up at her and she bit her lip, hesitating. “I talked to Phillip.”
“What did he say?”
