Page 82 of Crash Course
He pointed to the sky. "It’s a clear night. You won’t get this view in Charlotte. If we get lucky, we’ll see a shooting star."
She peered up for a few seconds and he waited, counted off the seconds until—bam—he saw it. That moment when she finally noticed what kept him sane. When she allowed herself to be present and stop thinking. Just take in the wash of stars thrown across the sky like tiny multicolored lanterns.
Until they’d moved here, further up the mountain, he’d never appreciated how the higher elevation took them above denser air. Dense air meant haze and fog and smoke that masked the full beauty of stargazing.
"Holy cow," she said, swinging her head all around. "How did I not notice this?"
"Easy. Your mind was occupied. Coming out here relaxes me. Zeke thinks I work in the middle of the night. Sometimes I do. Sometimes," he gestured to the sky, "I come out here. Hell, I’ve slept out here. The fresh air, the stars, there’s purity here. Goodness."
"I need some of that."
He smiled. "No! Not you?"
"Oh, ha, ha."
"Slide on in here," he said. "We’re gonna lie down, throw a comforter over us, and hang out awhile."
She helped him spread the blanket and they both crawled under, staring straight up at a starlit sky.
"Wow," she said. "I already feel less stressed. Who knew a night sky was all it took? Or." She turned her head, met his gaze and held it. "Maybe it’s the company. Or both. I needed this. Thank you."
The woman tempted him. Made him want things, houses and privacy and quiet nights together, he’d never craved before.
"You’re welcome," he said. "It’s good to shut everything down. Quiet the madness in our brains."
"I don’t do that enough. I’m always moving, reading notes, prepping for trial."
"You’re successful because of it. Nothing to be ashamed of. There’s something to be said for balance, though."
She rolled sideways, propped herself on one elbow. "Balance. What a concept."
She inched closer—a go-sign if he’d ever seen one—and he lifted his arm, sliding it around her shoulder and giving her a pillow for her head.
This? Never a bad thing.
"Guessing you can see why I like it here. I love walking to the barn to work on cars and sitting out here by myself at night."
"All solitary things."
She had a point there. "I guess I never thought about that, but yeah. I like my alone time."
"You mentioned the recent addition of girlfriends to the house."
He did mention that. To her, to Zeke, to Rohan. As if down deep, some unacknowledged part of him wanted everyone to know of his displeasure.
An unintended shot across their bow. "I feel . . . trapped," he blurted.
Ach. That sounded bad. Like he, a grown-ass man, was being held against his will.
"No," he said. "That’s not it. I’m not a hostage, for Christ’s sake."
"I didn’t think that’s what you meant. I get how it can feel like the walls are closing in. I feel that way about my current office. Everything is tight."
Yes.
Finally.
He could say it out loud without feeling like a selfish prick who paid not a dime’s worth of rent, mostly had meals at the ready and yet, felt stuck.
