Page 62 of Smoke Screen
“No doubt. She let us design the Annex and she spearheaded the renovations in the chapel. The stained glass is still intact. I think you’d love that. The pews were toast, so she had them refinished and the marble floors polished. Even the statues were cleaned up.”
“I’d love to see it. Can I go there tomorrow?”
“Absolutely. We have an unwritten rule. If someone’s in there, don’t bug 'em. It’s our place to be alone if we need it. And all of us living in this house? Believe me, we need it.”
She tilted her head up to the stars blanketing the sky in a rainbow of twinkling lights. Nothing compared to a mountain sky.
“Seems to me this whole place is peaceful.” She gave up on the stars and peered over at him. “I felt it the minute we came up the driveway.”
“Tell my mother that and she’ll love you forever. That was the goal. She was career military. Used to people telling her what to do and when. Here, she wanted to relax.”
“I love that. You’re lucky to have it. I live in 780 square feet with a noisy downstairs neighbor.”
Lucky. Huh. He’d been so bent on doing the right thing and fulfilling his responsibilities, he hadn’t considered himself lucky. Sure, he appreciated all the open space. The ability to decompress by hopping in his jeep and driving around the property or hoofing down to the chapel. But lucky?
Yeah. Maybe he needed to change his thinking some.
He rested his head back for a second, then turned to her. “This’ll sound bad, but I never thought of it as luck. It’s just where we live. There are times I feel straight up trapped.”
Where didthatcome from? Trapped? Really? Poor baby lived on all this acreage and he wastrapped?
He broke eye contact and stared straight out, contemplating a swift exit. He’d become a pro at that over the years. “Ignore me. I’m tired. Talking out of my ass.”
He made a move to get up and … crap … before he could go anywhere, she set her hand on his arm, keeping him in his seat. “Don’t go. Please. I like talking.”
Not a chance, sister.
Except, it was kinda nice. Particularly with Maddy. Something else he rarely allowed himself. Talking meant intimacy and intimacy meant attachment and attachments meant heartbreak when it ended.
Then again, there hadn’t been many women he’d even wanted to have personal conversations with.
It would probably be the end of him, but he sat back.
“Tell me why you feel trapped,” Maddy said.
He’d done it this time. Now he had to admit it. Well, he didn’thaveto. But maybe he wanted to.
Say it aloud.
Get rid of it.
“I had a different plan.”
“And?” she asked. “What happened?”
“You may not have noticed, but the rest of my brothers aren’t exactly schmoozers. Growing up, I watched Ash with people. When you met him he was in fed mode, but he’s good. The way he smiles or looks into someone’s eyes can sway them. BARS wasn’t his dream and he wanted his dream.” Phin shrugged. “I don’t blame him.”
“You took over as resident Charlie Charm?”
“Someone had to.” He faced her again. Right about now would be when he typically flashed a smile, cracked a joke, changed the subject, whatever. Tonight? He didn’t have it in him. “I have responsibilities to my family.”
“What about your responsibility to yourself?”
She tilted her head, and light from inside illuminated her gaze.
This one?
Definitely trouble with all this talking and making him think about things he shouldn’t think about. What good would it do?
