Page 116 of Smoke Screen
Phin Blackwell—super-schmoozer—running from an argument.
Fascinating.
“I’m good,” she said. “I like a level of honesty in my relationships.”
He set the carton down and held up a finger. “Honesty or intimacy? They’re two different things. I’ve nevernotbeen honest with you. So, think about what you’re saying to me.”
“Intimacy. Yes. Better word. I love our conversations, that’s all. I’d like to know you better. To know—”
“Everything.”
Yes. And why not? She deserved that. A man who’d share his life with her. “What’s wrong with me wanting to learn your hopes and desires? What you want from life. If that’s everything, then yes, I guess that’s what I want.”
“In the firstweek? I’ve spent most of my adult life keeping secrets and you want me to flip a switch and become someone I have no idea how to be.”
“That’s not what I want.”
He tipped his head back and snorted. “Sure seems like it, babe.”
If he thought he was frustrated, he should jump to her side. She shook her head, fought the urge to scream because, you know what?
This sucked.
She drew a hard breath, dragging air into her nose and holding it a second.Get it together, here.What she didn’t want to be was a hysterical female. Rational Maddy. That was her. Even when it killed her.
She released the breath, counted to five, and battled the slowly building tornado inside. “What it seems like to me,” she said in her rational Maddy voice, “is that you have information that could give me,”—she pinched her thumb and index finger together—“asmidgeof hope that I’ll be cleared of this mess, and you won’t do it. Everyone thinks I’m a thief. Worse, I’ve dragged your family into the middle of it. I’m literally trapped in your house. Can’t go outside the gates or the press will hound me and you have no idea how horrible that feels. To know I brought this to your very private family. All I want is to gohome.And to see my mom and my siblings. To feel like my life hasn’t been flipped upside down. I can’t doanyof that.”
Yikes. That was way louder than she’d intended.
Too bad.
He could help her. Could give her something to hang on to. He could look into her eyes and tell her they’d be okay.She’dbe okay.
And he wouldn’t do it.
And here she was, right where she said she wouldn’t let herself go. Falling too hard too fast and expecting things from him he couldn’t deliver.
Way to go, Maddy. Fist bump to you, sister.
She raised her hands. “Let’s stop. I’m exhausted and probably asking too much of you. I’ll get dressed and go back to my—” Not hers. No. “To the guest suite. After I get some rest, I’ll figure out a plan.”
He lifted his hands, his own exhaustion shown by his puffy eyes. “What the hell does that mean? A plan for what?”
“That’s the problem, Phin. I don’t know.”
She headed for the bedroom, Phin hot on her heels. “Maddy, hang on a second. Yesterday was tough. We’re both strung out and tired. Can we please …”
She spun back, halting him. “Please what?”
“I don’t know. Hit pause? Get some sleep and talk about this when we’re fresh.”
Excellent idea. “That’s what I’m doing. I’m leaving. I’m giving us both space.”
He cocked his head, studying her, his gaze moving over her face, and even now, all churned up and angry, she wanted him. Wanted him touching her. Kissing her. Making her feel that amazing heat that came with him. Always.
Dammit.
“There’s that word again,” he said. “Space. That’s what you want, not me.”
