Page 80 of Shadow Queen
And suddenly, it dawned on her—they were in the library. She’d been so caught up she hadn’t even cared.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
She swallowed as heat rushed to her cheeks. “We just… in thelibrary.”
His smile widened as he reached out and pulled her close to him. “What’s wrong with the library?”
“Someone could have seen us.”Alexandercould have seen them, and her stomach twisted.
He brushed the line along her jaw with the back of his fingers and pulled her attention back to him. “Then they’d see how their salar loves their salara.” He bent to kiss her cheeks. “How he worships her.” He trailed his mouth back to her lips. “How he sees to her every need.”
This man.“You’re going to get us on the floor again,” she warned, and his eyes darkened with new intent. She put a hand on his chest to contain him.
He chuckled as his eyes drifted to the table and the books scattered around. “What are you even doing in here?” Then his eyes fell on the map, the map Alexander had been walking through with her not even an hour earlier… in the same place she’d told Mikael to get on his knees.
Guilt flooded her.
She shook her head, trying to push back the overwhelming shame filling her to the brim. “Nothing, Alexander was just—”
“He was here with you?”
Her breath seized in her chest. She hadn’t meant to say that. Not that she was trying to hide it, but the timing… “Mikael, we were only talking—”
“I’m not upset.”
She swallowed. “You’re not?”
“Salara, I’m fairly confident that when you think of this library now, you won’t be thinking of your justice.”
A deep heat flushed across her cheeks, and he smiled. Then his eyes trailed to the table and the map spread wide on top of it. His smile faded.
“It appears one of us still thinks about my justice,” she said.
His eyes met hers. A silence hung over them. He didn’t ask her what she had talked about with Alexander. She knew he wouldn’t, even though he clearly wanted to know.
She wouldn’t make him wonder. “He thinks there may be answers for me in the Wild, possibly a way to get back my memories.”
Mikael shifted. “Why would he think this?”
“My father was seen riding a horse of the Wild, as I can now.”
“Yes, you’ve told me this, but it doesn’t mean the Wild has answers for you. This one connection—”
“It’s more than one connection—it’s both meandmy father. And don’t forget, I was found in the Wild. Still, it’s more than that. Before I was found, I was attacked by drifters.”
Mikael stiffened.
“But when they tried to harm me, something intervened and made them kill themselves. It might be a stretch to think this something saved me, but now, with my being able to ride a horse of the Wild, the same as my father…” She shook her head, wiping her face as she pieced it all together for him. “Stories are told about the Wild taking over the minds of men, and my memory loss is a problem of the mind. It can’tallbe a coincidence. And I do wonder—what if thereareanswers there? What if I can get my memories back?”
He said nothing.
She frowned. “Do you not want me to get them back?”
He took her hand. “It’s not that.” His eyes were dark, but soft. Worried. “It’s selfish, I know,” he said quietly. “But I fear it. What if remembering everything changes who you are today?”
She slipped her arms around him and leaned against his warmth, breathing him in. They stood in the quiet. Then she said, “I feared that too. But one thing I know for sure—I love you. I know you, who you are.” Her voice dropped to almost a whisper. “I just really want to know myself. I want to know my father, and my childhood. Memories are a place where the things you lost aren’t fully lost. And maybe I’d discover things that could help us face today’s challenges.”
He pulled back from her, enough to look at her, and cupped her face in his hands. His eyes moved between hers. “Then you should go.”
