Page 46 of Shadow Queen
He closed the space between them but didn’t touch her. “Have you been well?” he asked.
That was a relative term in this kingdom. She hadn’t died. “Well enough. And you?”
“Not well enough,” he said, even softer.
His words thrummed a chord within her, but she quieted the song that called. She couldn’t be so quick to forgive him. He offered her his arm, and she stared at it. Had they been in the castle, in a more private setting, she would have refused it. But in the courtyard, in front of everyone, the slight would be noticed. He would deserve it, she told herself.
He didn’t press her. He only stood, waiting.
She yielded. But instead of sliding her hand underneath and taking it, she simply laid her hand atop his vambrace, letting him feel her distance.
He led her through the throngs of people who had come to greet their salar, and into the castle. Behind the latch of the heavy wooden doors, she dropped her hand as they made their way through the great hall.
Mikael glanced at Soren. “We’ll meet later. There’s something I have to tend to,” he said, shifting his gaze to Norah.
He meant her. So much for avoiding him. She led the way to their chamber, hoping to reach it before he said anything. Confrontations in front of others unnerved her, and she’d need all her strength for this. They swept inside, and he closed the door behind them.
He unfastened his belt and leaned his sword against the wall. He would be smart to leave it on, she thought to herself.
“You’re still angry,” he started.
She’d never stop being angry.
He stepped closer. “You hate me now, then?”
“I hate you,” she jabbed. The words slipped out before she could stop them. They weren’t entirely true; she hated herself more. She hated that she wanted to forgive him.
He stiffened. She’d wounded him. Good. He’d wounded her.
“I knew it was only a matter of time,” he told her, his voice low.
“How astute,” she knifed back, “that you can expect me to hate a monster.”
His jaw tightened and anger flashed in his eyes. “I had no choice.”
“You always have a choice!”
Heat radiated from him now as his own fury grew. “You’re right,” he snarled. “I should have killed him. If this is what it cost me, I should have killed him.”
She struck him across the face, a stinging slap that hurt her too. She tried to strike him again, but he caught her hand. Norah twisted sideways, almost breaking his hold, but he spun around behind her, caging her with his arms and holding her close.
“I should have killed him, and I should have done it sooner,” he hissed in her ear. She sank her teeth into his wrist, stunning him enough to wriggle loose and catch him with her elbow. He grunted and pulled her tighter, using his size to overpower her. “I should have taken his head when he first arrived,” he said through his teeth. “When I was stronger. When your hate might have been bearable.”
“Get off of me!” she cried. She struggled against him.
“But I was a fool,” he said, “and I let myself love you. The seer showed me my fate, and I gave not the slightest resistance. The Bear will take everything from me. Even you. He doesn’t even acknowledge me, in my own realm, so smug he is under your protection! He refuses my rule, refuses even to present himself at my return!”
“He’s not here!” she screamed through the tears that had started to fall. “I sent him back!”
He stopped. He loosened his hold but did not release her. “What?”
“I sent him back to Mercia,” she said between uneven breaths. Norah wept as he turned her to face him. She tried to shake him off, but he still held her. “I couldn’t look at him. To see the woundsyougave him!” She hit his chest with her fist. He didn’t bother defending against the blow.
She stilled, spent with emotion. “I sent him away because I can’t protect him.” She took another sobbing breath. “And because I love you, and I can’t face him.” Those were words she hadn’t intended to speak.
The heat of his fury faded. They stood in the quiet, him watching her. She put her face in her hands. Mikael pulled her to him and held her. His touch was gentle now, and it only brought more tears from her. She cursed her emotion.
Mikael lifted her up and carried her to the bed, where he laid her down atop the cover of black silk. Then he crept up and lay beside her. He waited for her to calm, then he spoke. “Is it possible?” he asked softly. “For you to love me?”
